I’ve heard that the best thing to do when a bear is chasing you is to lie down and play dead. I’ve also heard, however, that different types of bears (i.e., brown, grizzly, black, polar, etc.) require different strategies to escape them. What do the teeming millions say?
I say just wait untl he reaches you, then kick his ass.
Wisdom appears to be to play dead (lie down, don’t make eye contact, don’t move), but if that’s not working, make yourself look big (undo your jacket, hold your hands over your head) and make a lot of noise. There appear to be some differences between bear varieties. However, generally speaking, making noise so a bear is alerted to your presence is a good preventive measure, as is traveling closely in a group of 4+ people. Cite: Jans, The Grizzly Maze (about Timothy Treadwell).
How effective is climbing a tree? I know that some bears are so heavy they couldn’t possibly scale the heights beyond a certain altitude, while others take to climbing like a fish to water. I think climbing would be my first instinct if I saw a grizzly coming at me.
It worked for Eddie in The Waste Lands!
Jans says not to because bears move faster than you do, and that, as you say, some climb trees.
Won’t most bears run away if you just shout and clap your hands? They’ve learned, by now, to fear humans, and are not quite intelligent enough to discern the significance of the absence of a visible firearm.
Up a Creek:
“Let’s run!”
“You can’t outrun him!”
“I don’t have to outrun him . . . I just have to outrun you!” [runs]
If only there were some way to pose this question to Stephen Colbert . . .
Dan Ayckroyd, as a hideously scarred man touting his new book Mauled on a talk show, in a '70s SNL skit:
Love that bear commercial, LOL!
Seriously though, how close is too close for the “play dead” defense to work? Are bears really that stupid, to suppose that someone is actually dead whom they actually saw very much alive a moment before?
I was always taught that when attacked by a black bear, your best bet is to fight back. Which I always thought was fucking terrifying.
I hear their noses are very sensitive. Maybe punching them there would be a good strategy, especially if they’re right on top of you and you can’t run, make noise, play dead, or climb trees?
Huh? My understanding is that the “play dead” technique is hoped to result in the bear poking you and batting you around a bit, then losing interest and moving on. By the time you realize this isn’t working, A) the bear has already harmed you and B) it’s a bit late to pop up and make yourself look big. The “if that’s not working” part of this advice strikes me as nonsensical.
Yeah, I was wondering about that too. I think Shoshana’s idea was that you should play dead once you spot the bear and hope it just goes away without approaching. Then if it approaches you’re supposed to hop back up and act threatening.
-FrL-
Here in New Mexico, we have lots of black bears, many fairly small, (150-200 pounds, usually youngsters or females, although adult males can go 400) and every year they encroach into cities and towns, mainly because of our perpetual drought.
Some actually even make it from their Sandia Mountains home to Albuquerque’s West Side, maybe 20 miles or more through town, and across the river.
The consensus (and From NM Game and Fish) here is to yell, scream, look scary and fight back if attacked. They will generally run off.
As for brown bears (Grizzlies and Kodiaks are brown bears), the play dead scenario seems to be recommended.
Just remember, when camping and a bear comes around, you don’t have to outrun the bear, just your buddy. 
It worked for this guy, and the bear was already biting him:
This may be a thread about bears, but it is a bit like all those “why is my cat acting like this” threads.
Nobody knows why cats jump on the lap of the one person in the room who doesnt like them. And nobody knows why bears act the way they do. Sometimes, you can scare them off by flapping your arms, and sometimes you can fool them by playing dead, (and sometimes you just have to outrun your partner 
)
It’s a wild animal.
(and so is my cat… )
Bill Bryson, in his hilarious “A Walk in the Woods,” did a lot of research into this and found that the simple truth of the matter is that nobody really knows and anyone who says they do is full of it. He found many documented cases where playing dead worked, and many where fighting back worked, for the same type of bear.