Ah, it’s not the pronouns you object to, but the placement as part of an email sig. That’s common enough in my company. Some of the HR reps do it, a few of my colleagues. It’s not making waves. Of course, if it would be making waves at your employer, some other choice would be better.
How are you yourself treating other people differently based on their apparent gender, in the context of a workplace?
I’m not purposely treating people differently in the workplace depending on gender, but studies show men and women are evaluated differently, and I’m sure I’m not immune to that. Eg:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2008.02079.x
A friend tells the story of a friend of his. Let’s call her Anne, a transwoman. She transitioned somewhat recently, and works in high tech. This took place before covid, but it was on a conference call, not in person.
She made a suggestion, which she thought was really valuable, and it just dropped into the conversation without a ripple. After a while she got frustrated that no one heard her, so she used her male voice, and said, “i think Anne made a good suggestion”.
And suddenly, the conversation switched to her suggestion, which was praised and adopted, and then they moved on.
But when she spoke alone, as a woman, they didn’t even hear her.
So i think @DemonTree had a point. I think it varies from office to office and from industry to industry, and hey, probably from teleconference to teleconference, depending on who’s on the call. But i think it’s a real thing.
Fwiw, my industry and my workplace are relatively female-friendly, and i tend to be loud. So i don’t think I’ve personally experienced this.
Ah. I see what you mean; and I agree that is a real thing.
But it seems to me more of an argument for people to be nonbinary than otherwise; especially if it’s not just a matter of pronouns but of ambiguous presentation (which I have seen, and more often recently.)
I suppose it’s possible that people who can’t, for instance, hear women’s voices would just not hear nonbinary voices, either. But maybe throwing that degree of confusion out there might knock that whole system out of whack, and help work towards ending it.
Would a downside be “I don’t want to put personal information about myself in every work email I send out”?
Because that’s why I don’t list my pronouns on my corporate email, even though others do.
Today’s Dear Prudence contains a letter from a closeted trans student who’s apprehensive about having to announce their pronouns:
This is half ethics and half etiquette. I am joining a grad school program this year. Everyone always does introductions with pronouns first, which I think is a generally great thing, except this:
I’m trans, but can’t be out or transition because I’m disabled and cannot afford to lose my (difficult, possibly borderline abusive) family’s support. So, I have to choose between: 1: lying and misgendering myself, which I hate doing because it feels bad and feels like lying; 2: just not doing it, which I also hate because it makes me feel like a jerk who’s disrespecting the program’s norms and my fellow students, and 3: coming out and risking my mother finding out and possibly getting violent or at the very least cutting me off from medical care and financial support.
What is the best balance between safety and politeness here? How do I respect my own identity, the program’s norms, and my personal safety?
—Closeted and Confused
I thought of this thread when I read it. I wonder how many people might be in a similar position.
That person must not hate misgendering themself that much if their parent has no idea they are trans. They must misgender themself to friends and family all day long.
This is not an uncommon problem, and they should not publish their pronouns. And this is why publishing pronouns shouldn’t be mandatory.
I think I said above that ideally, about half of everyone should do so, so it’s not weird either way. Since currently, a lot less than half of everyone does, it’s helpful, if you are certain and comfortable in your pronouns, to share. But if we get to the point where most people publish pronouns, it would be helpful to withhold yours.