Can’t we all just get along?
I wonder if they have any baked goods selling for sixpence?
Oh, the humanity!!
Scene: The offices of the Shropsire Star. The office hums with busy reporters.
IAN COPROCESSOR, IT man, runs into the office of Dr HUGH MOVABLE-TYPE, Editor In Chief.
IC: Sir! Wah! Rhubarbrhubarbrhubarb!
Dr HMT Slaps IC with his pipe.
DHMT: Spit it out man!
IC:P Sir, the website has just had 10 times the normal amount of hits. Its all down the the sparrow exclusive!
DMHT: Good lord, I had better tell the sparrow desk right away!
DHMT Picks up phone
DHMT: Janet Passeridae-Aves please.
DHMT: Janet! Guess what! you can hire that biology student you’ve been pestereing me about, and your requisition for the Sigma APO 70-300mm F4-5.6 DG and Cannon EOS XS DSLR is aproved as of this moment!
DHMT listens to phone noises
DHMT: (Shouts) THATS ENOUGH! NOW. GET. ME. MORE. SPARROW. STORIES!.
(Scene ends)
“looks like I picked the wrong week to give up amphetamines”
Lost sales amounting to ‘hundreds of pounds’? There’s your financial crisis right there!
I’ve been in grocery stores in NJ that had little brown birds flying around in them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a news story about them being captured and put out, but then, NJ has other things on its alleged mind.
(Former NJ resident. Voted with my feet.)
I do believe it, I do believe it’s true!
(“Giraffes are insincere[sup]1[/sup].” - P. Simon)
- “And mellophants are kindly but they’re dumb.” -bid.
At least it’s better than what’s printed in my father’s hometown paper.
“Mr. and Mrs. Wilbur Mildschmadt hosted Mr. and Mrs. Leeroy Jenkins at their residence Sunday afternoon following services at Glory Baptist Church. Iced tea and lemon squares were served.”
All the news that’s fit to print.
You laugh but I was in Sainsbury’s in Leamington Spa on Friday, and there was a robin loose in the clothing dept.
This caused a mightly kerfuffle but staff were powerless to intervene, as apparently (so the rumor went) the birds are “protected”, presumably by some shadowy network of fellow feathered combatants or possibly the Illuminati.
It seems the Shropshire Sparrow was merely the vanguard for a coordinated series of supermarket raids by the avian menace.
The recent release of classified data by Wikileaks was clearly a masterly piece of psy-ops distraction, designed to allow the feathered fiends to implement their dastardly plots.
I’ll see your sparrows and raise you a mayors wife changes hair colour.
Clearly she just got tired of people accusing her of being a vampire.