Shut your fucking dog up before I stick my fist down it's throat.

The BBQ Pit
1

It’s just gone midnight here in downtown Melbourne (Aus) and the little dog two doors up is going hell-for-leather yapping and whining fit to kill.

They’ve only had it about 4 months. Why they got a dog is beyond me when THE FAMILY BETWEEN US ALSO HAVE A NASTY FUCKING YAPPER WHO NOW BARKS IN UNISON WITH THE OTHER ONE KEEPING ME AWAKE ALL FUCKING NIGHT.

I like to have my window open on warm summers’ nights. It’s my right. It’s my right to have some circulating air and some coolness.

It’s therefore my right to leap the back fences to stick my fist down your fucking dog’s gullet to shut the fucker up, so I can get some friggin’ sleep.

I think that’s fair, don’t you? :smiley:

2

Never punish a dog for its owner’s mistakes. Punch the owners down the throat. Of course, if the dog attacks you by all means punch it.

3

Those dogs surely wouldn’t bark if their idiot owners would take them in at night and give them the companionship they crave. Blame the owners for being cruel jerks; the dogs are as miserable, in their own way, as you.

I feel your pain, though; living in a congested part of Boston for many years, I had to participate vicariously in far more late-night parties than I cared to.

4

Well, it would depend on the size of the dog, I guess.

5

I feel your pain. The spawn of satan (the little barker who lives next door) barked half the night away)

6

Tell them.

I’m passive-agressive, so I leave notes about things like this. If my neighbours have a dog and it’s barking is driving me crazy, I write them a polite little note to say “Your dog barks all night and it is driving me crazy. Is there something that can be done to make him/her stop?” and I sign it and leave my name and address (I’m not the anonymous note type). Sometimes people are so pig-ignorant that they need a less than subtle hint to let them know that the dog’s barking can be heard by the whole neighbourhood.

It may help. It may not. I’m of the opinion that a polite note with the author’s name is likely to be taken more seriously than an anonymous note, but you do whatever you feel comfortable with.

This issue came up with my mother’s dog a while back. A neighbour was apparently bothered by the dog barking and complained to the council. We were upset that we had no way to apologise directly to the neighbour, but mostly we were upset that we couldn’t find out what the crux of the problem was. The dog slept indoors and was only outside a short time each day - and never unsupervised. Was it the sound of barking coming from inside the house that bothered them? The short amount of barking she did between finishing her business and being let back into the house? Was it even our dog, or were they seeing a dog in our yard and hearing a dog in our street and assuming they were the same beast? An anonymous complaint is difficult to resolve when there aren’t enough details supplied. (Any barking that the dog did do was the result of senility - she had a tumor in her brain and was in the final stages of her life at the time.)

Of course, not everyone is reasonable or responsible, but please try approaching your neighbours to see if they are before you resort to feeding their dog a knuckle sandwich!

7

Approach the neighbours, if they are approachable. Other than that – I’d moan to the authorities.

8

YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! …(3 hours later)… YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP! YAP!

Dog, Is there any point to this?

YAP!

Sllide,click,BANG,SPLAT,ahhh

9

Don’t deride yourself. That is clearly not passive-aggressive behavior at all. You took direct action to eliminate a problem.

10

I hope that was directed at the owner.

11

Kam, what does your council say? I’m seriously considering complaining about the mutt next door because I am going out of my mind with irritation. When the hideously noisy brats next door go swimming, Muttly waddles down there and barks and barks and barks in its high pitched nasty tone for hours on end. What really irritates the crap out of me is that the adults DO FUCKING NOTHING to discipline either the children or the dog. If I once heard a be quiet, I’d probably feel a tad better.

This is the street from hell though WRT dogs. We’re the only house without them and when the people over the road got a new puppy which began barking at 5am thus setting off the whole street of dogs, I was an unhappy camper. So happy when they moved out.

The Brisbane council ordinances are stringent though – something like 3 barks an hour is acceptable and it’s up to the owner to control and train the dog to shut the fuck up.

12

“3 barks an hour”

I really like that. Who counts, the owner or the dog?

13

Having had a neighbor’s dog removed over repeated complaints, all I can recommend is that you call the police and file a noise complaint every damned time it wakes you up.

Either the neighbor will get the point, or eventually the dog will be removed. In either case, the problem will be resolved.

14

See below, leave a note, mail a letter, tell the neighbors you are going to be calling the authorities if they don’t fix the problem.

But let them know the problem can be fixed, some people are so ignorant of their own animals that they don’t know this shit.

TIPS ON CURING NUISANCE BARKING
When you are home and your dog is outside barking, firstly go out and reprimand, yell ‘BAD’. The reason you use the word we have suggested is so the dog will learn these words are directed at it, not at whatever it is barking at.

The reason for yelling this is that you will need to be louder than the noise the dog is making.

If you use 'BAD every time your dog does something wrong it will soon catch on.

Be sure to praise your dog as soon as it stops what it is doing wrong.

Monitor the barking and only reprimand your dog for those things that do not constitute a good watchdog, i.e. birds noises, the neighbours, passing pedestrians, and other dogs etc.

BARKING PREVENTION AT THE PUPPY STAGE

A young pup that barks at people or noises etc is a good indication that you have a budding nuisance barker developing. This is a sign of a nervous pup that worries about everything. A well adjusted pup will not usually start barking until somewhere between 8 to 12 months of age.

If you have a pup that is starting to bark at everything that moves, discipline it by growling ‘BAD’ at the precise moment it starts. Praise it as soon as it responds.

Clapping your hands or throwing an object onto the ground near the pup, such as a can of pebbles, (careful you don’t hit the pup) and at the same time growling your reprimand word (BAD) should help stop any premature barking.

A puppy that persists even after your reprimand could need some socialising.

Try a Puppy Pre-School or Bark Busters

15

Talking of effective ways of stopping dogs from disturbing the peace, one solution i saw on telly sometime ago was to have some kind of collar round its neck that held a capsule of some liquid (that was essentially harmless - lemon juice i think it was?) that results in it squirting up mutley’s nose when it barks :stuck_out_tongue: Dog barks, dog thinks WTF :eek: Dog might try again. Dog decides better to shut its yap. Good device for those to bone idle to socialize their pet.

Those suffering this blight on peace and tranquillity have my sympathy, because i too have suffered from the barks - the positively thunderous barks from a neighbours TWO Alsatians. I did not mind if they just yapped / barked whatever momentarily for a minute when someone walked past. But no, these two demon dogs from hell (i do actually like dogs) would bark (well, BELLOW more like) constantly for hours while my neighbours were out. They were in the lounge next door to mine - but it sounded like they were in the same room. I am having trouble actually trying to describe how unsettling and disturbing it was at the time (years ago now, and i have since recovered thanks).

I did politely raise the issue with my neighbours. However, they absolutely refused to accept that their precious Zoltan 1 and 2 would do such a thing. Bah!!! I since sold up and moved out. :frowning:
(Yes, could raise it with the authorities etc, but when you come to sell, you have to declare such issues on a legally binding document here in the UK)

16

[Hijack]

The Brisbane City Council allows for six minutes of barking per hour during the day, and (I think), three per hour during the night.

Who in the fuck measures this is beyond me.

I have a neighbour who has issues with my dogs. I do not know who the neighbour is, but they feel the need to occasionally write anonymous notes about the dogs barking. Never once have they spoken to me about it. They merely threaten to call the council (and, in fact, have done so). Yes, my dogs bark. Probably more than 6 minutes an hour. Yes, the council has intervened, and yes, I have addressed it (bark collars, if anyone’s interested).

To those of you who exclusively blame the owner - fine, go ahead. My dogs aren’t neglected, they’re not anxious and they’re not untrained. They don’t bark because they’re bored or lonely. They just don’t like strangers. I live on a main road, and strangers walk by all day every day. Hence the barking.

I am not defending the dogs barking (which, by the way, did I mention, has ceased since introducing the bark collars - which do NOT hurt them in any way). What irritates me is the way neighbours don’t identify themselves or discuss what their issue is in an adult manner. This person deals with problems by using the tried-and-true, “wah, I don’t like what you’re doing, so stop it or I’m gonna TELLLLLLLLLLL”. :rolleyes: :mad:

[/Hijack]

Max.

17

kambuckta

I feel for you. One of my neighbors used to have a dog, part beagle, that used to bay (and I mean bay, not bark) all night whenver a rabbit or deer was sighted. Do you know how may rabbits and deer there are in West Virginia? The noise would continue long after the offending animal had passed from the dog’s sight.

 Notes, letters, late night phone calls, knocks on the door, visits from the Police, all were employed by both myself and others. This jerk had no intention of silencing his mutt. He finally got rid of it due to the fact that every time the dog kept the neighborhood up, the neighbors made sure that we kept him up by the above mentioned methods. Could he have disiplined the dog or trained it not to bark? Heck, if you had seen his kids (one of whom I belive is now serving time) you wouldn't ask.
18

I have need to recount a story which some of you will no doubt find to be terribly cruel. Some friends of mine at St. John’s College in Annapolis lived across the street from a neurotic dog that barked constantly, day and night. One night these fellows decided to take matters into their own hands and fed the dog a hamburger laced with a couple of tabs of LSD.

They said the dog didn’t make a sound for three days. Instead, it sat on its little stoop and stared at passers by with a big open-mouthed doggie smile. On the fourth day it resumed its barking as if nothing had happened.

My friends concluded that the experiment was not a total success, and did not torment the dog further, but they all agreed that the dog became much more friendly to them, barking, jumping, and wagging its tail whenever they were outside.

19

[hijack]Maxxie, my fairly new neighbors in my apartment building are musicians. Soon after moving in, they took to rehearsing, throwing parties, just generally being loud jerks. Spoiled children all of 22 or 23.

In my case, I DID speak with them directly, had the landlord speak with them, pounded on the walls. Nothing worked.

I finally lost it one night recently when they and their friends were rehearsing next door; I took the phone in the room next to where they were rehearsing, shouting so loud they could hear me, and told my landlord, “This is not a FUCKING RECORDING STUDIO!” and that I was going to call the police if they didn’t stop the parties, stomping up and down the stairs, slamming doors, playing amplified music, etc.

That worked (for now). Still think I’m going to have to end up calling the police. What happens if I do? They get cited, have to appear in court, and receive a fine.

Key in your post in “tried-and-true”. TELLLLLLing works. :slight_smile:
[/hijack]

20

So, my question to you is: Why did it take complaints to the council to get you to do something about it? You admit that they bark a lot (more then 6 minutes an hour, which IS a lot, in my book). Did you not hear them? Does it not bother you at all? If they bark when people walk by, then they should be indoors or you should have implemented the solution before it became such a nusince that the neighbors complained. I don’t blame the person for “telling” on you. Some people don’t get the point on their own, I guess and need to be told something as basic as “Don’t let your dog bark and annoy the piss out of the neighborhood.” Amazing.