Whiny rant follows. You’ve been warned…
Basically, I’ve been diagnosed with migraine headaches, which suddenly started in November (although I went to the doctor with strange headaches and dizziness last summer, too. It was just November when I had one that had “aura” first, which consisted of not being able to see clearly. That freaked everyone out at work. That’s when the doctors said, “Aha! MIgraines!” and did an MRI so that they didn’t have to say something like “Aha! Brain tumor!”)
My work started this new attendance policy last year, where, instead of having “sick time”, you could use all your time for either vacation or sick or whatever. Everything’s cool if you provide 48 hours notice. However, if you are actually sick or cannot provide notice for some other reason, you get “dinged” one point. If you get more than 6 points, you start getting on the discipline process–verbal warning, written warning, fired. I am sick today, so I now have 5 points. It takes an entire year for points to get expunged from your record, so my first point will be expunged in June. That seems like forever away right now.
I have the feeling this attack was brought on by a recent tapering-off of this old medication which didn’t seem to be doing much other than making me constipated and anxious, but maybe I was wrong. Then I’m switching to something new which could be better or worse. Needless to say, this isn’t yet controlled. I don’t think things would seem so bad if it weren’t for the stress of missing work. I know it’s not serious like cancer, but at least cancer would be taken seriously. Maybe.
I talked to my boss recently about the points thing and he said don’t worry about it, since he wants me to take care of what I need to take care of. The thing is, I don’t know when it’s “too bad” to come in. Sometimes, I can work through it, even though I’d rather be at home in bed. Sometimes, I come in, and the stress and hubbub of work and the glare of fluorescent lights is just too much to bear and I have to go home. That’s what happened this morning.
I know that some people go on FMLA for “serious medical conditions”. Thing is, work has never suggested I do this, and my doctor has never suggested I do this. Do I pursue this? Maybe it’s not serious enough. The people who have it, unless they obviously have cancer or a dying parent or something, are generally seen as slackers. I’m just not good at this “being sick” thing.
I’d really like to get well and go back to school and get a better job, but I can hardly handle things now. I’d be totally humiliated if I lost a job for poor attendance, even one I’m not thrilled about. After all, I’m lucky to have a job at all, right? And, yet, the attendance policy seems too strict. But, it’s probably not. Yet, it’s stressing me out as much as the actual dizziness and pain.