Has he smoked for a long time? If so, I could kind of see it being an emotional defense mechanism. Maybe stopping smoking = facing issues he’d been avoiding until now.
Ouch!!
HHelllooo? I’m sitting right here.
I had my midlife crisis when I was about 19…unless that was the first wave.
The sexual orientation thing was never an issue. Why is his sister buying clothes for him and spending big bucks? And rhinestones? Hmm, I would be quite afraid to wear them in the gay bars or anywhere else as well.
This smells bad to me.
A friends husband who was only about 35 started wearing puca shell necklaces and a TOE RING! He was not the toe ring type at all before that. It was a huge red flag, and yup, within a month or two of the toe ring, they were divorcing.
He magically had a new girlfriend(age20ish) a few weeks later, that he swore he didn’t date before they were seperated.
Is it bad that this thread has me laughing?
I am sorry if his behavior has caused any problems for the people around him.
But seeing a shocked WhyNot. . .well, that’s just impressive.
Sniff I am a delicate flower of womanhood, you know!
No, seriously, denial on that level always makes me go wah?!.
Given the more salient details, I’d say his liking of trendy clothing is the least of his worries.
Somehow I don’t think I would have highlighted that particular aspect of this situation. Hmm…
My partner became suicidal on chantix, is it possible he became depressed on it, decided all was wrong and is now trying to turn his life upside down to get away from it? I would suggest that somebody suggest a visit to a therapist to figure out what is real and what is not given a known risk factor is in the mix.
The gay bar scene is fun, my straight friends like coming along now and then and have been known in weak moments to wonder if they like it so much because they are gay or just because it is fun.
Quitting smoking is a bitch emotionally in itself. There is a lot more going on than aging.
When I turned fifty it occured to me I had not had a midlife crisis. This became a topic of discussion around the pool one hot summer afternoon. A couple of friends and I had turned fifty. The squeeze and another friend were going to turn fifty in a few months.
The result of this was, we all decided to go on a weeklong cruise to the Bahamas in October of that year. We named it our midlife crisis. We acted like fools aboard a bigass cruise ship for a week and got it all out of our system.
Best way ever to have a midlife crisis.
Sweetie, unless you are with him every minute while he’s “drinking in (gay) bars,” you make him wear a condom every single time you guys have sex. Every single time. Don’t want to scare you or anything but you really are not taking this seriously enough. 
legalsnugs, if the OP is talking about who I think she is (her ex-husband) I don’t think you have to worry.