I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

A friend just returned his Christmas present. It’s something he would have been wild for a few years ago (an autographed edition), but now he’s getting rid of all of his stuff. He’s given up on the One Big Passion in his life, and is studying to start a new career. A career! Not something to supply money for the OBP, but a new calling apparently. He’s been changing since Bush took office. Fed up with Christian Values, Conservatives, etc. But then, he’s always been fed up with them. I guess he finally had enough.

But it’s more than that. He used to throw the best parties around. Now he doesn’t associate with people who drink to excess or use drugs. He said they were a bad influence and he doesn’t want to end up like them. (Never mind that he was the same way when he was their age.) I don’t use drugs myself. When offered, I just say, ‘No, thanks.’ But he doesn’t want to be tempted.

And then there was the Girlfriend Episode. She really took the micky out of him.

And now he’s not the same person.

I had another friend who was the original Whacky Guy. Really liked acting, a laugh a minute, and fun. Then he got married back in the ‘80s. Married? At that age? Well, yeah; people do it. But come on! He was never as much fun afterward. He got all serious, an’ shite.

Me? I’m the same as I ever was. Oh, there are things I don’t find fun anymore; but that’s just because there’s no one to do them with or because of financial issues, or sommat. But I still like to fly (when I have the money). I still like motorcycles. I still like to read, and I still like to watch films. I still like to make films, whenever I have the chance. I still like toys – even kid’s toys. I still want an über-:cool: electric train set. I still want to fly my Estes rockets. I still dress the same. I’ve never grown up. (Never saw the point in it.)

Maybe it’s because I’ve ben left to my own devices for so long. With no outside influence, I just kept having fun.

And yet… And yet… People are changing around me. My father died six years ago, and my mom is sick. My friends are changing or have changed before my eyes. I look at myself and see that I’m not as young as I used to be. What’s up with that? I worry that I don’t have a job, and that if I injure myself (having fun) I have no insurance. Am I growing up? How can that happen to me? To me!

I’ve always liked going fast. But now, my bike is a ‘mid-life crisis machine’. No it isn’t! It’s just my bike! Geez, I’ve been riding since I was five! Can’t I even ride a motorcycle without people thinking ‘MLC’? I was listening to a CD today, and I realised Bad Religion is getting a bit long in the tooth!

Well, bollocks to that! I’m going to have fun. I’m going to keep doing the things I like, and which I’ve always liked. If I’m to grow up, I’ll do it kicking and screaming!

Which is pretty much the definition of a mid-life crisis, isn’t it?

2

Actually, it sounds like everyone else had a mid-life crisis, not you. Guess you could have one if it sounds like fun!

3

Welcome to the club, my friend. You’ll be getting your registration kit in the mail soon.

4

But peter, where is Neverland? and how do we get there?

5

Through the hidden door to the secret other bedroom in Michael Jackson’s sleeping quarters??

:eek:

Cartooniverse

6

Nah, more like acting like a young person after a reasonable stretch of moderation and responsible living, where you had been serving your family (spouse and kids for the usual example) as your main priority. Suddenly you buy a sports car, pick up a 22 year old girlfriend, and acquire a wicked coke habit.

Now that is a midlife crisis!

7

Is this a pun? (This is not my beautiful bike!) If not it’s a great unintentional double entendre!

8

Your post reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when Jerry opined to George (a great episode BTW):

Jerry: What is this? What are we doing? What in god’s name are we doing?

George: What?

Jerry: OUR LIVES!! . What kind of lives are these? We’re like children. We’re not men.

Well, it sounds like you’re sort of wondering the same thing. Your friends are changing, seemingly getting more responsible and being less fun. You didn’t say how old you are, but midlife crisis usually applies to people in their 40’s or 50’s who look around and ask themselves “What does it all mean?” And then proceed to do stuff to find that meaning. From the way you ended your post, it does appear that you’ve made up your mind about what you’ll be doing.

9

One of my brother showed up at my house with a soft tail Harley last year. I hadn’t ridden in ten years, but my wife and I were so in love with my brothers Harley that we started talking about getting a touring bike like the Goldwing I had. A friend heard about it and started leaving all these bike rags with us whenever he stopped by. Finally we were talking the “ride in the country” “picnic at the beach” “heading up 17 for Santa Cruz”. Finally a couple of months ago we go over to the Harley store.

We get their and behold, a <cue angels>Pearl White Harely</angels> with the touring package and all the bells and whistles. We talking, making plans thinking about offering a down payment. Sanity struck as the saleman approached, by then insurance, baby sitters and storage entered the conversation. If he had been five minutes quicker… :frowning:

10

Anyone who abandons their OBP (One Big Passion) has serious problems as far as I can see. Now, I can understand altering the OBP a little, adjusting it, or putting it aside for a little while, but giving it up and tossing out all material associated with the OBP is bizarre, at least in my world view.

Yes, I know, I guess some people lose interest after a while. I can see this, if the OBP was of a shorter duration—like a few years or something. But if/when it’s something that started for them when they were pretty young (like, say, teenager) and lasts for over 10-15 years—well, that’s a major OBP and you just don’t toss those aside that casually.

But, you know, everyone has their own life, I can’t speak for everyone else’s situation, there are always going to be reasonable exceptions, yadda yadda yadda . . .

Anyway, my point is, you should never feel the need to give up your OBP, nor should you accept pressure to give it up from others. If you loved motorcycles for a long time, I assume that you’ll love motorcycles to your grave. If anyone says anything different, they can just stuff it. But of course you already know that.

We all change a little as we age—become more responsible, etc.—but we don’t have to be dull and stuffy in the process.

11

Nah, mate. You’re just a little skeeved about growing up–like the rest of us. Take it from me (for what it’s worth): growing old? Doing all the responsible, boring, dull, plain stuff? Yeah, you have to do that.

Growing up? Becoming responsible, boring, dull, and plain?

That’s optional. :wink:

12

Johnny look just adopt my attitude
I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up.

13

Wait just a minute here. I had a perfectly good mid-life crisis and never once thought of picking up a 22 year old girfriend! And Coke? I don’t use sugar at all… maybe diet Coke… But then since my husband is 18 years my junior, I’m not allowed to age.

Seriously, Johnny What you’re going through isn’t unusual. We all have to reevaluate where we belong in the world occasionally. With everything that you’ve had to deal with lately, I think you’r coping admirably.
Besides mourning lost youth doesn’t mean you have to stop playing, you just have to play more carefully. At 20 we never dream we might get hurt or die. That’s why wars are fought by the young. At 40, we have experienced pain enough that we actually remember that falling down hurts.
You’re ok, go play, just don’t fall down.

14

<shrug> age is in the mind.

My mother, who turns 68 in about a week, loves to go out dancing, drinks too much wine at times, and, when asked to get something from a high cupboard, jumps up on the counter and pulls it down.

On St. Patrick’s Day last year, I did jello shots with a 92 year old woman.

Those are the people I’m planning on taking after. There’s really no need to grow up that I can see.

15

Worship youth at your peril, it’s a fools game.

A man who is the same at 40 as he was at 20 has wasted 20 years of his life.

Next you’ll be sportin’ a comb over and wearing bell bottoms and wearing an earring.

This is the reason kids today have had to resort to facial piercings and ear lobe plates. To seperate themselves from a generation of adults who would co opt any fashion, no matter how ridiculous they appear, in a desperate attempt to remain ‘youthful’.

And yes, this is the voice of experience speaking.

Peace.

16

No, I don’t!

Yeah, that’s a weird one. Hard to wrap my head around it.

That’s the problem. I should be flying for a living, or making movies. Bloody expensive interests! [grumble]

Based on genetics, I doubt I’ll ever have a comb-over. No worries about wearing bell-bottoms. As for the earring… heh… I’ve been wearing one for a long, long time. (Used to wear three, but it’s not good when job-hunting. And I take the one out when I’m meeting a prospective employer.)

It’s not a ‘desperate attempt to appear youthful’. It’s just the way I’ve always been. Even in my 20s people told me I should grow up. I asked for one good reason why I should, and no one could come up with a good enough answer. I mean, I can be responsible without it. So basically, I’m still in my mid-20s.

The rub is that I relate better to 20-somethings than I do with older people; yet not being chronologically in my 20s means that I’m perceived as being a Boring Old Fart.

I have some friends who are even less grown up than I am. She’s a travel-nurse, and he pickes up some sort of random job wherever they land. Once they save up enough money, he quits his job and she goes on hiatus. Then they go gallavanting off to Southeast Asia, Russia, or someplace for months. They’ve been doing it for donkey’s years. Now, that’s the way to live!

It’s just weird that everyone’s getting all serious an’ shite. I know where I belong. It’s just so expensive to get there!

A tarot reader once told me I’ll die when I’m 83, so I have several decades left. Until then, I’m invincible! :smiley: (I wish I had insurance, just in case, though. :wink: )

Actually, I’m going to live forever… or die trying! I mean, this death thing… Seems awfully counterproductive, if you ask me. And what’s with ‘You can’t take it with you’? Bollocks to that! I’m not going!

Okay, so here’s the plan…

I’ll get rid of some of the neat stuff I don’t need or don’t have space for. (After the holidays I’ll assemble my G.I. Joe USS FLAGG 7-foot-long aircraft carrier and put it up on eBay, for example.) That will build up the bank account and reduce the clutter in the Johnny Cave to a level reminiscent of earlier days. (In my first apartment I had a 9" B&W TV, a director’s chair, a sleeping bag, and a folding metal cot. :wink: ) I’ll get a job that I like, and that will pay enough to let me get airborne again. I expect I’ll have some ‘new motivation’ soon (I’ll post about that later), and focus my energies to what I should be doing; namely, flying helicopters. I also have a short film I need to make.

So then I’ll be doing what I’ve always been doing, but in a more focused manner.

17

You stay the way you’ve always been. Acting “responsible” means that you pay your bills, don’t get yourself into impossible flakey binds; and try to think ahead. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all it means. As Kythereia, the rest is optional.

I don’t think you can fake being what you are. You sound like a guy who enjoys things that you enjoy, and are looking forward to enjoying them for the rest of your life. I cannot imagine why anyone (and I don’t know if anyone’s said this to you) would encourage you to do anything other than you’re doing.

For instance, I’ve always had a long ponytail or braid. Ever since I was a kid. There came a time in my early 20s when everyone was asking me when I was going to cut my hair. Why they did this, I don’t know, because plenty of women (of all ages) have long hair. But for whatever reason, I was encountering these people who thought that I “ought” to cut my hair after a certain age. I never would, and I never understood what the big deal is.

I almost think that some people are jealous of anyone who seems unconcerned about what they “ought” to do at a certain age, so, if given a chance, they’ll hound them and nag them about what they “ought” to do. Ugh. They want to drag you down with them, but there’s no reason why you have to let them!

I have cool role models like this too. You only get “old” if you let yourself.

My mom is like this too. She’s not “desperately” trying to hold onto her youth, but her natural enthusiasm makes her look about 10-20 years younger than she really is. She is always excited about learning something new, and hasn’t given up on her OBP (music and singing). She practices the piano and sings everyday. She wears jeans and t-shirts and has her hair in a braid. She can get silly and shriek and have a ball. She’s told me that some of her friends were sort of appalled by her behavior (doesn’t she know she should sit in the Senior Center and wait for death?) but that’s now how she wants to live her life. She’s far from the only one who feels this way.