“All one with that filling! Now please rinse and spit in the urinal.”
amn!!! My “” button’s sticking.
keeps saying ‘turn your head and cough’ and getting the giggles.
You walk into his office and all the little potted plants are dead.
Performs surgery with knife and fork. “But I cleaned them first with my napkin!” (Thanks Dr. Nick!)
He mentions how handy it is that butchers also wear white coats, because he doesn’t have to stop and change before his shift starts at Kroger.
Whenever you call to get an appointment, he always says, “Right now would be good.”
He sold the naming rights to each of his exam rooms to drug companies. (“There’s an upper respiratory infection in Glaxxo Wellcome, and a low back pain in Pfizer.”)
Two-finger rectal.
If you get your card punched at each visit, your tenth visit is free!
Dr. J
He puts an e-collar on you so you can’t lick your incision.
Worse, so you won’t see when he starts licking your incisions for you.
::running for cover::
- He/she sticks the tongue depressors in your ass.
- He/she sticks the rectal thermometer in your mouth.
You’ve gone to a bad doctor when he reaches into his pocket, pulls out a rectal thermometer, and says, “Hey! Where’s my pen!”
DoctorJ will appreciate this one, though it may be a bit esoteric for everyone else. A flock of residents gathered around my patient’s room; the attending stole my bedside table to hold the chart and paperwork. As he pulled the table over to the group of residents, the table’s wheels squeaked loudly. Whee-whee-whee!
“Hmm,” the attending said. “Looks like we need some WD40.”
One of the residents piped up, “WD40? Is that potassium?”
You start to shake uncontrollably and suffer shock. One nurse takes your blood pressure on your left arm, while the other one does your scheduled blood draw on your right arm.
This happened to me two weeks ago. :eek:
When they say, “What’s a decimal place between friends?” 
(an intern at the hospital I used to work at managed to misplace the decimal, boosting the patient’s thyroid dose to 100 times the usual dose. Thank GOD I caught it before it went to the pharmacy!)
Robin
yeah smug! yikes!