Silmarillion in 1000 words

[Archergal]

Here

Brilliant.

[Archergal]

Sample:

AINULINDALE:

ILUVATAR: Ahem.
AINUR: Wow! Existence!
ILUVATAR: blows pitch pipe LA!
AINUR: LA LA LA!
ILUVATAR: LA LA!
AINUR: LA LA!
MELKOR: This sucks. BUM BUM BA DUM!
AINUR: Um. . . la?
ILUVATAR: Ahem. LA!
MELKOR: Boop bop-a-doo-bop!
ILUVATAR: LA, dammit.
MELKOR: Bwam bardle ningle boom.
AINUR: . . .
ILUVATAR: Right, you’re out of the band.
MELKOR: Fine, I was leaving anyway.
AINUR: . . .
ILUVATAR: What are you waiting for?
AINUR: Oh. Right. Newly created world. Sorry. Great jam session, big guy!
ILUVATAR: Yeesh.

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

Didn’t we do this just a few months ago?

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

Yep. Thought so.

The Silmarillion (abridged edition)

[Archergal]

Oh.

Sorry…

<slinks away in embarrasment>