…and make sure you move your foot out of the way. (yes, I did learn this the hard way)
Back in 1979 before the Iranian hostage crisis I was dating an Iranian guy I met at school. He and a bunch of fellow Iranian students lived in a couple of apartments side by side in an apartment building and I got to know most of them just by hanging around the place. One guy was quiet and shy, another offered me $5 to do his homework for him, one was a funny joker type, another was a poet, one would give you the shirt off his back, another guy was always intense and passionate about things. The guy I was dating was a real ladies’ man. Even though I can put labels on them like this they were all individuals.
The lesson I learned was that people are the same everywhere, there is good and bad in everyone and it’s wrong to lump people together under a label and pass judgement on them. Having an “us against them” mentality is wrong. It used to be the Russians were the enemy, now they’re trying to make Muslims the enemy.
If you go outside, without your keys, always twist the doorknob as you’re pulling the door shut. Makes sure the door’s unlocked.
A more philosophical one - if you truly made the best decision you could, based on the facts available, don’t beat yourself up if things don’t work out. Sometimes things don’t end well, and unless you’re psychic or have the power to control the future, there isn’t anything you can do about that.
Me too. I keep mine in OneNote, so it’s also the same list on my laptop and tablet.
When I drop *anything *I hold my hands up and jump back. I did that just this morning when I dropped a pen at work. That led to a conversation with my coworkers about ways we’ve cut ourselves.
Two maxims I learned early:
The best is the enemy of the good.
The good is the enemy of the best.
The problem of course is knowing which one is relevant in any situation.
I had to think about that for a moment, but yeah, I understand: it’s the gap between “never change a running system” and “well, we haven’t updated the software for fifteen years, but it kinda works.”
Very early in my career my employer was in a bit of turmoil for various reasons and the person I considered most important for success was considering looking elsewhere for employment. When I mentioned to him that his departure would be fatal to our current project, he gave me a lesson on how to determine your importance to a company:
- Place your hand in a bucket of water
- Pull your hand out as fast as you can
- The amount of time it takes the water to fill the void left by your hand is the time it will take for a company to fill the void left by your departure
I think of this every time I start getting a little full of myself.
I was talking to someone about this after a particularly restless night and she mentioned that the Russians would refer to this phenomena as The Hour of the Wolf.
When you start a new job, even if it’s in the same organization, find a problem that needs fixing and make it your priority. You always come out looking like a hero.
A topical one: When wrapping gifts, having too big a piece of wrapping paper will be almost as much of a problem as having too small a piece.
Huh? If the piece is too big, I simply cut the edges till it fits. If it’s too small, well, gluing more paper to it to make it fit isn’t really an option (I’m a baaad gift wrapper, but that’d go even against my own standards), so that’s really a bigger problem, ain’t it?
Never get drunk around people you don’t like while sober. It doesn’t make them any more pleasant.
Crazy dysfunctional people, left to their own devices, do not get less crazy or dysfunctional over time. As a corollary to that: Everyone makes sense to themselves. If someone is doing something terrible and I don’t understand why, the problem is that my model of their internal logic is wrong. In most cases, it means I’m giving them too much credit.
The easiest way to get something weird done is to learn to do it yourself.
People only rarely demand proof of your skills or abilities. Secretly, the main qualification for non-technical work is “impresses the interviewer as someone who can probably do the thing”.
Do not fight your natural sleep schedule. If you’re an early bird, do not take a job that lets you out at 3am. If you’re a night owl, do not take a job that requires you to show up at the ass crack of dawn. You WILL be sorry.
There is no such thing as a situation that is improved by also being hungry.
The Hour of the Witches in Spanish.
This too shall pass. It kind of sucks when life’s good, but it’s comforting when it’s not so good.
Don’t stop at decision points. (Like when you’re going up an escalator, don’t stop at the top to figure out where you want to go). Get out of the way.
The secret to a happy life is to always have:
- Something to do
- Something to look forward to
- Someone to love.
(I learned that one from an article about Elvis. Supposedly, it was his personal philosophy.)
Staying calm and cheerful when other people are losing their s#% can get you a long way (plus, as a bonus, it really pisses off the people who are losing their s#% at you.)
If they were going to do it, they would have done it already.
My father drummed two things into me.
…If your not 5 minutes early, you’re late.
…If you have something good to say about someone then speak. Otherwise don’t say anything.
Never try to beat a man at his own game.
Many, many people have had very comfortable lives by letting a fool believe that the fool can do the thing better than he.
Three Card Monty is a classic - hey, look! That card has its corner turned up! The professional doesn’t see this!
If you had seen his act and noticed that every card had all its corners bent in exactly the same way, you might just know how the scam works.
But he never needs more that 2-3 minutes before another fool will bet $100…
I am light years from being an ideal father.
But I learned first hand that death can come any time- my father died when I was 9. And yet, there is almost nothing we always talked about doing that we never got around to. He did something with me every weekend, even when I’d have preferred to stay home and watch cartoons. Even now, peopleIve fooled into thinking I’m highly intelligent would be amazed at how often Im just regurgitating things my Dad taught me.
So… what did I learn? Well, I have a 13 year old son with heavy duty ADHD. He is very needy and requires more attention than a Dad my age can easily muster. But I try my damndest to be the Dad he needs because he won’t have me forever. He may not have me next week.
My only advice is DO all the things youve been meaning to do with your kids.
If you can’t decide whether to do something, or not. It is usually best to proceed. A little like Nike’s slogan ‘Just do it’, and sort of similar to having a plan mentioned earlier.
When you don’t get what you want, you get experience.
Good.
Fast.
Cheap.
^ Pick any two.
Be careful with memories. They’re not always accurate and the brain may fill in gaps.
The lesson: Twenty years ago, I lived in a crappy little studio apartment on the ground floor. A woman attempted to break in while I was in my towel getting ready for work. Her long acrylic fingernails were lifting up my roller curtain and she was getting ready to step through the window. I yelled at her and she muttered ‘sorry’ and walked away. I saw she was wearing a black shirt and blue jeans and gave the rest of the details to the 911 dispatcher and to the officers who came to take the report.
Well, on my way to work 30 minutes later, I see her eating a bag of Doritos with those long fingernails. I call 911 as I’m following this woman at a safe distance. We’re convoying around downtown St Paul and end up at a bus stop where she is waiting to get on the bus. Meanwhile, I am talking with the 911 dispatcher who is trying to get a squad car to my location as quick as possible. I’m going through the description; long fingernails, black shirt, green sweat pants, et al.
The dispatcher interrupts me. “I thought you said blue jeans.”
I did. I did say blue jeans. That was exactly what I remembered her wearing, or at least what my brain filled in. There was no way she would or could have changed out of those pants. But it made me realize how unreliable being an eyewitness can be.