This one happened to me about ten minutes ago:
"Hey, I can’t put this t-shirt on…where’s the neck hole? There’s no neck hole! Sonofagun, where the heck are the arm holes?? What kind of crappy t-shirt is this? It’s almost like it’s a…
…pillowcase."
:smack:
I didn’t figure that out until I was about that age too. I thought “mis-lead” had two S’s, so of course misled was a different word, that sounded a lot like mistled.
I see this word spelled wrong more often than right. (Because I work with student writing). And I totally don’t get it. Kids can spell “may” and kids can spell “bee” and “bye” too, and those who have read Romeo and Juliet know about “mab” as well. I’d expect to see “maybee” but how do you get to mabye? that’d be like Queen Mab with a bye stuck on the end. Mab-(b)ye. I’m not very good at sounding words out, but that’s obvious even to me. 
A couple years ago I bought my second ever car. It had a trip meter, which I thought was kind of neat, since my old car didn’t have one. Driving along one day about two months after I got it, I had an light-bulb moment. Say, when people say trip meter, they’re using trip as a noun! Up until that moment I figured that it was a verb, you know, you push the button to turn it on (trip it). ::sigh::
And did you know that mums and chrysanthemums are the same flower? I figured that out last spring when I saw a sign that say “chrysanthemums (mums) $8.99.” Up until then I was under the impression that I’d never seen chrysanthemums before…
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ARRRRR! I HATE reading these threads (while loving them at the same time) because there’s always stuff in them that will make me want to smack my head!
Jesus Christ. ChrysantheMUMS. Could that be any more obvious?? :smack:
Don’t feel too bad. This morning:
Me: Hey, I can’t put this t-shirt on! Where’s the neck hole? My arms are through the armholes but I can’t stick my head through the neck hole! Oh damn, my glasses are stuck. Jesus. I’m stuck. I’m stuck! I’m stuck!
Husband: Why are you wearing my shorts on your head?
Me: Oh.
Man, this is some funny shit. The mental pictures with the pillow case or the man’s shorts are great!! 
My friend once said to me “Man, I’m really Fat-eh-qued!”
Me: Wha??? Whazzat?
“You know, really tired. Fat-eh-qued”
???
Me: You mean fatigued? It’s pronounced fa-TEEG’d.
I thought it was funny. He, however, did not.
That’s what my father thought they were saying too! He’ll be glad to hear he’s not the only one 
The most prominent :smack: example I can think of didn’t actually happen to me - but to protect the innocent, no names will be given. We’ll just call the person ‘my friend’.
The day that the Columbia disintegrated over Texas, I got a call from my mom telling me what was going on. I of course went to turn on the TV and saw the news reports showing the burning pieces in the sky. My friend was very confused - all this talk on TV about how the shuttle was due to land at such and such a time. I became confused too - wondering why my friend was confused. We went back and forth for a few minutes before my friend said something to the effect of: ‘dont the astronauts just come back in a pod covered with heat shields and lands in the ocean?’
“Umm no - it lands like an airplane. Well, more like a flying brick actually.”
The look on my friends face was priceless when the light came on. Turns out he/she had seen the shuttle takeoff’s on TV and video, but never seen one land
I never really got the full birds and bees story from my parents, so for a long time (until I took sex ed) I never knew that women had a vagina. I thought that there was something drastically different with a womans anus that allowed them to become pregnant.
When I was quite small like 4/5 years, I thought other countries are on top of my country. This was thought bcos all the planes seems to be going up. Basically I imagined the world as muti storied buidling. Instead of stairs or elevators , you have planes to go to other level.
As we are fighting the ignorance here, could somebody explain me whats wrong abt this??
**DooWahDiddy** is correct, but I want to elaborate a bit. I couldn't find 'beckon call' or" 'beck and call on my online MW dictionary: too many words, I suppose.
Then I went to The American Heritage Dictionary and searched them both there. Beck and call was defined as “ready to comply with any wish or command.”
Beckon call took me to Amazon, and a number of books that had beckon and call somewhere in them, but no beckon call together.
So beck and call is the proper usage.
Improvisation is a major part of jazz. The implication is that of course they were making it up as they went along.
For the longest time, I thought it was “Chester drawers,” not realizing it was “chest of drawers.”
I think I was 15 when I figured it out.
:smack:
I once had a friend who thought the lyrics to the Croce song were “If I could spend time in a bottle …”
In my case this happenned when I was a kid (I still make mistakes but this one stuck in my mind). My parents and i were at a restraunt and for the first time I was allowed to order for myself (within a certain budget limit). Feeling proud of myself I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. No Problem there. Then the waitress asked me if I wanted “Soup or Salad?” So I said that sounded good. She looked at me kinda funny and asked what did I want and I replied that I wanted the “Super Salad” (Pictureing in my mind a large salad with everything.
That one still haunts me to this day.
Speaking of Mums … mine gave me quite a bewildered silence when I started wondering about crop rotation; a season of rest, a season of hay, a season of alfalfa -
Turns out hay and alfalfa are the same thing, while straw and hay are not (which I didn’t know and still couldn’t tell you why).
I think I was six when I read the story of “hay foot, straw foot” … so this is another Duh after 20+ years.
Really? Wow! I did not know that. Huh.
Straw: The stems or stalks (esp. dry and separated by threshing) of certain cereals, chiefly wheat, barley, oats, and rye. Used for many purposes, e.g. as litter and as fodder for cattle, as filling for bedding, as thatch, also plaited or woven as material for hats, beehives, etc.
Hay: Grass cut or mown, and dried for use as fodder; formerly (as still sometimes) including grass fit for mowing, or preserved for mowing.
If they’re layin’ on it and it’s yellow, it’s straw.
If they’re eatin’ it and it’s green, it’s hay.
Well, more precisely, alfalfa is a type of hay.
Don’t feel bad, Elysian, I believed that also, until about thirty seconds ago when I read your post. Wasn’t it true at one time, though? When did it change? Does that mean I can put all kinds of metal objects in my microwave?
My family mocked me for my pronounciation of ‘tukson’ and ‘Edinburg’.
My brothers friend was well into his teen years before he was told that a bridge in our cit was not NAMED ‘Pavement Narrows’.
Until I saw it last night, I was under the impression that **Guns Of The Navarone ** was a western.