‘Simple’ things that are surprisingly difficult

In My Humble Opinion
81

This might be off-topic as few people would say that playing bowed instruments is easy, but it’s relevant to your point.

Cello is by far the hardest instrument I’ve ever learnt (the others being guitar and piano).

Just getting a nice, reliably in-tune note out of it takes years of daily, frustrating practice. On the best days, I could play a recognizable melody more or less correctly. On the worst days all I could get out of the instrument were the last moos of a dying cow.

But that’s not even the worst thing about it.

The real problem is bowing, and nobody realizes it. Apply too little pressure and you get a sound that is described in professional terms as “a mosquito fart”. Apply too much pressure and you just get loud and creaky noise. More importantly, bow grip and the sideways wave movement going from the wrist to the elbow then the shoulder and back feel absolutely weird. I mean how often do you do something that looks even remotely like that in real life ? Bow mastery is a lifetime’s study.

I’m just an OK pianist, and I was never a great guitarist, but the cello is in a completely different league.

82

Or how many loops around the grocery store does it take to acquire all the necessary ingredients?

The bakery, deli, and produce section are all adjacent at my grocery store (and all grocery stores have been converging on a similar layout for decades). However, first let’s hope the bakery has the right kind of rolls and in the right quantities. I don’t need eight pretzel buns, I need four sub rolls! Factory-made buns are in the bread aisle not in the bakery section.

Then for deli meat, you can take a number and walk up to the counter, which can be quick or not, or pick up some pre-packaged meat that’s priced by the ounce rather than the pound. No not THOSE pre-packaged meats, THESE over here!

Fancy artisanal cheeses are at the deli, but the cheap(er) pre-packaged sliced cheese is in the refrigerated section on the opposite side of the store. Side note, they have all the cheap sharp cheddar, Swiss, or havarti you could ever want over there, but only the fancy cheese section has any brie or gouda.

Whoops, forgot lettuce, gotta go back to the produce section where we started. Damn they’re out of hydroponic lettuce and only have full heads of iceberg or huge tubs of leaves.

Oh and I need mayo. Where the hell is that? In the salad dressing and hot sauce aisle of course, half a mile away. I suppose if you’re into pickles you’d find them there too, maybe, if they’re not refrigerated. Sometimes they just randomly deploy mayo in other sections of the store to make a game of it, kind of like the powdered parmesan cheese and store-brand honey (summon forth the upside-down bear). Tomatoes and onions? Back to produce.

Then when all is said and done and you’ve spent the half hour at home making your sandwiches, you’re left with twice as much or more of some things as you needed, but you’re now out one critical ingredient like the meat or the bread so everything else just withers away.

83

I love to cook and I live alone. I will cook a great dinner, even if just for me… But it’s easier to go to Jersey Mike’s or a deli and buy a nice BLT sub or turkey on marble rye. Or a pre-made salad. It costs more than one would think, but I wouldn’t have loaves of bread, a sheaf of dryed out cold cuts, and heads of lettuce left over. (And every salad and sandwich I make for myself is never as good as one I can buy. Always too…warm? missing some ingredient…bread stale or not the right kind…meh)

84

During the beginning of the pandemic, our local grocery store (really the only one) decided that this would be a perfect time to reorganize and put all the stuff on different shelves.

You had to wait in line outside, because they where only allowing few people in the store at a time. And of course, people spent twice as much time in the store because they could not find a thing.

TPTB do this every few years to get you to wander around and make impulse purchases. OK, I get that, It’s their business model.

But - DON’T do this in a middle of a pandemic when people are confined and trying to distance from each other. Idiots. I wonder how may became ill because of this.

Still pisses me off.

85

There’s a word for the Ever Expanding House Repair project, too. It’s the Mushroom Factor.

86

Right! That Parmesan is not in the cheese cooler it’s in a dry grocery aisle where a cooler is placed with refrigerated pasta and sauces.

So true, maybe 15 years ago we had a discussion about painting the living room because we wanted to brighten it up due to low ceilings and the quote returned was a couple thousand dollars! That led to a bigger discussion that resulted in a two story addition to the living room which never got repainted until just a few years ago.

87

In programming, we call it scope creep.

And that too, and this, and well as long as your at it…

Happens with every project. Be it programming or remodeling a kitchen.

88

Our Giant Eagle has meals to go. Some of them are marked down, so the other day I got 2 big servings of lasagna for 4.49!

89

Heh. My gf hired a carpenter to refurbish/rebuild the dock on our pond, a little “boathouse” (storage shed) on the dock, our big shed, etc. He’s been working a few weeks now and does nice work. However he keeps making suggestions about little tweaks he think would work well and my gf keeps agreeing. Looks like he will be with us all summer!

90

I’m confused on this one. How would you need two hands for the task? Maybe I was taught a more efficient method…

91

Even if I’m just going to the store for a couple things I’ll simply patrol all the aisles. Up one, down the next, up the next, etc. Looking at all the shelved stuff while also scanning my list. It actually averages less total wandering around the store than trying to go directly from list item to list item when your list isn’t sorted by their geography. Much less, as you say, dealing with the various sorts of e.g. breads being kept in three distinct places. Bastards.

Besides, by doing it my way when you hit the cookie aisle even though cookies are not on your list, something might jump into your basket. Might. :grin:

92

He’ll have a nice little house for himself on a pond when he is done. Perhaps he’s Emersons great, great grandson?

Couldn’t resist that.

93

Heh, if I posted his picture you would crack up at the Emerson relationship. He’s a funny guy.

The first Friday my gf asked if he’s like to have a beer with us. We sat around and drank my gf’s Michelob Ultra (diet beer). The second Friday I made sure I had a 12 pack of Dale’s Pale Ale. Third Friday he said he’d bring beer. Dude had several bomber bottles he’d been cellaring. Fantastic beers!!!

94

Even a simple light bulb swap can do it:

95

Count your blessings. I’ve been trying to hire someone to rebuild the balcony at the back of our house for over a year. Two contractors so far have come out, looked at it, done measurements, and then…nothing. They don’t answer emails or phone calls, even though both of them have done good work for us in the past and I’m pretty sure we’re on good terms. A third has broken two appointments to come out and look at it. I have money! I’m flexible about dates and materials! I pay on time! Having a contractor who actually comes out to do a project is my dream, and if I had one who was willing to do more projects, well, I have some more available.

96

On the other hand, a cello is the easiest instrument to fit into even the smallest of living quarters.

Because there’s always room for cello.

97

Sure, just stick it in the corner with the piano, the harp, and the drum set.

98

Yeah, sorry, I don’t know which synapses fired that one out. I’ll try to exert a little more mind control in future.

Dan

99

Speaking of musical instruments, don’t forget the triangle:

https://musiciansutahsymphony.com/how-to-become-a-professional-triangle-player/

100

My one and only musical performance as an adult was on the triangle. It was not good, despite the fact I can read music fairly well for a non-musician.