You might think Kentucky is landlocked, but according to the map, it appears that “sailing” up the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers will get you there.
Shoes must be like salmon going upstream.
Note, the preferred practice is to include a link to the Straight Dope column in question.
Now, has Cecil ever researched the airspeed velocity of a coconut^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hshoe-ladened seagull?
Ooops. I actually planned on including the link, but I forgot.