Hey, those of you in your teens and twenties: is it any better?
I’m a respectably old geezer of 41 now, and in a matter of just a couple years I will have finally been a nonvirgin for as many years as I was a virgin. You’d think I’d be over it by now, and in some ways perhaps I am…but…
would you believe that even now if I see a woman whose appearance is deliciously attractive, I still will make sure she isn’t given any hint that I find her so, because I’m still mad and resentful?
For me personally, it matters less and less. I have a girlfriend and my hormones are in decline, and if we break up I’ll just run another personal ad, therefore bypassing the whole early-flirt arena as I have before.
But is it a good thing if young people coming of sexual age are still coming into a world where the girls are taught to suspect and repel male initiative as if it were all inherently exploitative, but are not taught to take the initiative themselves?
Most of the males I observed of my generation did not walk my bitter road but instead became desensitized to female expression of irritation or disgust at male sexual interest. Many of them are nice enough guys and many of them had a lot of fun, but I think most of them became contemptuous of themselves and other men and accepted the built-in assessment that we are all ugly dogs about sex. And I don’t think they were in love as often. I probably had the better part of the deal.
Isn’t it a drag for the girls to be picking amongst the boys who indicate sexual interest? The ones who do so are so often disgusting and hard to turn off because they are so tuned in only to themselves that girl-disgust doesn’t slow them down much. But meanwhile, how are the nicer guys gonna express it if the girls are so emphatic and contemptuous (in self-defense) in their go-aways?
Is there room, yet, for a girl to put on a t-shirt that says “slut” and giggle about it and tell the pushy guys that if she was interested she woulda fucked them by now but she isn’t…and then select the guy who is cute and interesting to her and take the initiative, regardless of what signals he has or hasn’t sent to her? Can she be as assertive as the guys are and have fun with it without being treated as weird and given a creepy reputation and regarded as fair game for violent exploitations?
Is it true, yet, that a sexually interested guy does not need to do anything more pushy or overt than a sexually interested gal, and he can be as laid back and reactive as she is, and he doesn’t end up waking up as a virgin in his 20s by default?
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