Here’s one:
Two people who are not in a relationship (usually of the same sex)start doing something together on a regular basis that they didn’t do before. One of them decides it has to stop, the other one begs that they don’t, and this is done just like a “regular couple” breaking up.
I must have seen that in a dozen shows.
I don’t know if this counts, but all the times the male character accidentally schedules two dates at the same time (hm…I guess that did happen in Three’s company) and has to go back and forth and hope the one doesn’t discover the other.
Jesus, we just got through the holiday season and no one’s mentioned…
The “very special” episode which rips off Dickens’ CHRISTMAS CAROL?
I can’t believe that nobody’s mentioned the classic scenario… let’s call it the “Tripper Gambit”… in which two people are in a room and a third walks in forcing one of the others to hide because they shouldn’t be there. Of course the third person always makes enough noise to allow for a brief period of panicked discussion and a scramble for a suitable hiding place and this is really the hallmark of a well choreographed comedic situation. Both inside closets and under beds have an alluring classic feel which appeals to the more traditional viewer, but there are pioneer writers out there doing exciting things with laundry hampers and bureaus.
Camera angles play an important role with some directors opting for the panoramic shot in which all three protagonists are in view. This enables the audience to more closely follow the plot progression and really highlights the nuances of character interaction. Others prefer rotating closeups which have the benefit of revealing in intricate deatil the responses of each individual as the situation approaches its climax. Of course this may confuse the less advanced viewer.
Finally we come to the aftermath in which, more often than not, viewers are left gaping as they learn that the vaudevillian hilarity they are witnessing is little more than whimsical wraping paper for a dramatic plot twist. This emerges when the third person unknowingly makes an unfortunate comment resulting in what industry insiders refer to as “layered” tension. This is usually between the two original characters. Again there are myriad variations on the theme, but more popular outcomes include the “hider” ending the ruse by jumping up in a rage and confronting her former partner about his alledged slander/misbehaviour (interestingly in these instances the third person is rarely bothered by the masquerade which has been going on at their expense) or the third person leaving the room with ensuing dialogue to the effect of:
Character 1: “Whew! That was close!”
Character 2: slap
Honestly, I don’t know how they can give just one Emmy a year…
For the surfer character:
“Dude, there’s a shark in the pool!” <Surf Guitar riff>
Socpro, that was freaking INSPIRED GENIUS. I am printing out this whole thread. I can’t stop chuckling.
The main characters GO INTO BUSINESS FOR THEMSELVES and GET IN OVER THEIR HEADS.
It’s usually cookies or tomato sauce. Something they will end up covered in by the end of the episode. The only good version of this was Andy Kaufman’s cocaine cookies on Taxi.
No one on a sitcom ever has a baby in a hospital. And they can only be delivered by a main character.
And I’ve noticed an alarming number of insidents of two men ballroom dancing. Which is SOOOO FUNNY!!! Because your supposed to dance with a woman! But the guy is dancing with another guy! Get it! And when somebody walks in on them it looks like they’re GAY!! Ha ha ha ha.
The Amnesia Plot: The same thing EVERY TIME. I must have seen this one on at least 3 sitcoms; someone gets amnesia, other characters try to convince that person that they enjoy doing chores, person is stupid enough to do it, then the person gets another bump on the head and is cured. For extra wackiness, sometimes the person will pretend to still have amnesia, lure other characters into position while pretending to do chore, then whack them on the head. Hilarity ensues.
Every building in Seattle has a clear view of the Space Needle, half of the buildings in New York have a clear view of the statue of liberty, and every building in Paris (without exception) has a view of the eiffel tower. Also, every building that is in France is also in Paris (go figure.)
Guy did something stupid. Guy doesn’t want girlfriend to find out. Guy scrambles around doing stupid things so she won’t find out / it will get fixed before she finds out. Girl finds out, and then kisses Guy, regardless of what he did. i.e. “You stole a gun and murdered my best friend…for me!? That is so sweet!!”
Everybody sits on one side of the table so that you can see them all at the same time, you can walk around everybody’s couch (nobody has them, god forbid, against the wall) and the architects somehow designed all of the houses so that all the appliances, doors, and furniture goes on one side of the house, with the other side being (presumably) just a blank wall.
All men are incompetent at everything in the kitchen, and must be stupid and oafish compared to the female lead.
Without exception, there are no flawed minorities. (Scott Adams wrote briefly about this in his book, 7 Years Of Highly Defective People.) If you have a wacky, flawed character, he/she has to be caucasian male, or it won’t be politically correct. If you have a female/minority, they must be perfect in every way, so as not to offend minorities. The result is a highly unrealistic environment.
Character X saves the life of Character Y. Character Y, out of deep sense of obligation, is compelled to do chores for Character X, ad nauseum. Character X contrives some scheme by which Character Y can save X’s life to absolve the debt.
Variations ensue, however the most common is that Y finds out about X’s plan but then somehow ends up saving X’s life for real anyways. Yuck!
I think the last show since “Three’s Company” to incorporate so many crappy cliche’s was “Perfect Strangers.” Which reminds me of another one: wacky ethnic character (check out Fez on “That 70s Show” for a recent take on this one)
How about how every sitcom child is in a school play at some point? They usually have the lead, in a huge and elaborate costume, or they play a ridiculous secondary character like The Shoe or The Carrot, in an equally huge and ridiculous costume. Sometimes the kid waits until the night before the play to remind Mom she had to have her Shoe costume ready the next day. Mom, of course feels terrible, because she was either too busy with her other Momly duties, or she has selfishly taken up too much time doing something she enjoys. Hilarity ensues when poor Mom is up all night furiously sewing a costume, desperately trying to redeem herself.
Rose
Good call on Perfect Strangers, peepthis. A common cliche on Perfect Strangers (I loved that show, by the way, despite its cliches):
Larry: Let me show you how it’s done, Balki.
Balki: But, cousin, I…
Larry: Don’t interrupt. Just watch the master.
Balki: I understand that, cousin, but I wanted to tell you that…
Larry: Don’t interrupt, Balki. Watch and learn.
[Something bad happens and Larry is left with egg on face]
Balki: That’s what I was trying to tell you.
Ahhhhhh Perfect Strangers… sigh. Just when you think you’ve hit bottom the floor collapses. I love this thread.
A man does something thoughtless that pisses off his girlfriend, or a woman he is trying to date, and she yells at him–“You stupid jerk, I can’t believe you did that; you are such a moron! I never ever ever ever want to see you again!” and storms off.
To which the man ALWAYS responds, “So are we still on for Saturday night?”
Um…Urkel? And what do you consider “flawed,” anyway?
Okay, Steve Urkel was black, but so was everyone else on the show.
Great thread!
My 2 cents: No one ever closes front doors! I first noticed this on Happy Days, but I’ve seen it many, many times since. In fact, a saying in my family is: Close the door! Do you think you live in a sitcom?
(When I was a kid, a common saying was: Close the door! Do you think you live in a barn?
How times have changed . . .)
This line, IMHO, was the crowning jewel in your [hilarious] post. Sometimes I think that some people really do strive to be advanced television viewers.
Let’s not forget “The Sam & Diane Scenario”, in which a man and a woman heatedly bicker right up until they start kissing passionately.
Aspiring sitcom writers also need to master the all important 1 1/2 plot structure. All classic sitcom episodes have a main plot and several good examples have been given here. But you also need a 1/2 plot going on in the background which is unrelated to the main plot.
For example if your main plot is about how Fred has told his grandfather he’s actually the boss at the office rather than the janitor, only now his grandfather is visiting him, so everyone has to fool the real boss Mr Blake into leaving town and pretend that Fred is the boss, which of course creates great confusion when their new client shows up a day early for his sales presentation, and just when everything is falling apart Mr Blake walks in, but everything turns out okay because Fred’s grandfather tells him he is proud of him for being a good janitor, then your half plot can be about how George sees a mouse in the office and wants to catch it but is constantly thwarted in his attempts by Tiffany who thinks the mouse should be allowed to live wherever it wants, so that George sets up more and more elaborate traps which finally appear to kill the mouse leaving George unexpectedly guilt stricken, which sets up your ten second teaser right before the end credits where the mouse is seen alive running across the office and stopping to eat one of Bob’s donuts.
Thanks, nineiron. Some more:
You’re right about kids in school plays, Wicked Blue, but with one addition - the high school play is always “Romeo and Juliet.” Must be the only play high school theater teachers know.
A character is mistakenly assumed to have done something heroic. He doesn’t deny it, and everybody praises him, and the guilt builds up until he finally confesses at an public ceremony in his honor.
A character needs to take some pain or meds or sedative. Rx instructions apparently say “Take two tablets right before the big presentation.” Sometimes friends help by slipping the pills into his drink, but of course none of the friends know that everyone else has already done the same.
The characters play practical jokes on each other, until someone gets hurt. Except, he wasn’t really hurt, it was just another joke! Who would have guessed?
A more recent theme is the guy’s old college buddy who comes back to visit him, but is now a woman. I’ve never seen this done the other way around.
More rules:
If a character meets her childhood hero, the hero will always be a big disappoinment.
At high school reunions, all former nerds are now millionaires, all former jocks are now car salesman, and all former unnoticed girls are now knockouts.
If a character turns over a new leaf (due to brush with death, or whatever), he will immediately be met with multiple temptations to break his vows; these temptations will suddenly disappear as soon as he decides to go back to his old ways.
Pets left in the care of others will either 1)die, 2)get lost, 3)have their appearance drastically altered, 4)get spayed/neutered. Look-alike pets are then purchased by the care-takers.
All characters will eventually have to deal with the Mafia at some point. Mafiosi are very obvious about it (probably have membership bumper stickers).
No sitcom character can handle a new position of authority without it going to her head.