sitcom cliches

In My Humble Opinion
81

Every game of chess in sitcoms goes as follows:

Person A, who by words/body languague clearly believes they are the best chess player, makes a move which they think is a very good one. Often taking a queen and saying “Ha!”

Person B moves one piece and has Person A checkmated.

82

This one isn’t just confined to sitcoms. Character A does something bad and doesn’t want Character B to find out. But as soon as character B says “We have to talk” or starts a serious conversation, character A either assumes character B knows about their dirty deed and confesses or tries to explain themselves giving enough details so that they have to confess.

I HATE that.

83

Old white people using young “hip” slang. Blech.

84

Elderly people are always fast paced and exciting. They always ride motorcycles, are obsessed with sex, skydive, etc.

85

Exception: If there are 2 elderly people, one will be hip and exciting, while the other is an “old fart.” When the two get together, however, the old fart will willingly embrace the wild lifestyle of the other one.

86

Actually, punishments have been shown a few times on “Malcolm in the Middle” and Eric was grounded at least once on “That 70s Show”…

87

Boy, that hits the nail on the head. My late wife, who was not a fan of soap operas, visited her mom for a week. As she reported it, two main characters in her mom’s favorite soap were trapped in a meat locker on Monday and still trapped in the meal locker on Friday. She was never tempted by the soaps again.

Speaking of cliches, the ultimate might be THE EVIL TWIN (or cousin, or whatever) a sure sign that the run-of-the-mill sitcom has reached absolutely rock bottom creatively. It’s a vanity piece for the star, of course, because he or she gets to play both parts (Gosh, what an acting stretch and sure to be nominated for that Emmy) with customary hilarity ensuing like crazy.

88

A corollary to the “It’s a Wonderful Life” plot is that 50% of the time, it turns out things are actually better off without the character in question. Much hilarity ensues as we see family quite wealthy, kids perfect, etc…

A non-holiday standard plot: There is a contest of some sort, boys vs. girls. The guys are the clear favorite and do much bragging, but the girls always win in the end.

89

Top 10 cliches in BLACK TELEVISION COMEDIES, circa 1970-2000

  1. Catchy theme song opens the show’s credits, with singalong lyrics often performed by one of the show’s stars. Bonus points if the song is an instrumental by Quincy Jones.

Appearances: FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIRE, LIVING SINGLE, GOOD TIMES, A DIFFERENT WORLD, AMEN, 227, SANFORD & SON, COSBY SHOW, etc.

  1. Family comedies will often be built around the home life of a real-life popular musician/stand-up entertainer whose sitcom character, strangely enough, is almost never a popular musician/entertainer.

Appearances: GOOD TIMES, THE COSBY SHOW, COSBY, LIVING SINGLE, THE PJs, etc.

  1. On family shows, the starring character will invariably be part of a tight-knit family unit consisting of: A) funny parent B) no-nonsense parent C) obnoxious smartass kid D) smart, do-gooder kid, or E) frequently overlooked ‘cute’ kid who doesn’t have all that much to do. In a large family F) ALL OF THE ABOVE will apply.

This is nuclear unit is often further complicated by the appearance of G) the combative in-law and H) kooky white neighbors, who add much-needed ‘white’ perspective, racial diversity, occasional hijinks and wacky hilarity.

Appearances: FOR YOUR LOVE, JEFFERSONS, DIFF’RENT STROKES, THE HUGHLEYS, THE COSBY SHOW, FAMILY MATTERS, SANFORD & SON, 227, etc.

  1. As a collorary to H) above: at some point in the show’s run, one of the stars will portray a character of the opposite sex – usually a relative of the character they already play – who may become a semi-regular fixture from season to season and provide occasional hijinks and wacky hilarity.

Appearances: FAMILY MATTERS, MARTIN, DIFF’RENT STROKES (but it was Phil Drummond and Kimberly, if memory serves)

  1. All shows making it past their third year are required to have at least one “socially revelant” episode per season, in which a Very Serious Aspect of Black American Culture is examined, like Predjudice, the Martin Luther King Assassination, the L.A. Riots, or Bed-Wetting. Tone of the show will be unusally serious, forgoing its usual pace of occasional hijinks and wacky hilarity. Flashback sequences optional, but helpful. Shows to run in February, during Black History Month and Sweeps.

Appearances: Most of the above shows, plus ROC, FAMILY MATTERS, THAT’S MY MAMA, WHAT’S HAPPENING, etc.

  1. In all ‘Flashback’ episodes in black sitcoms, visual commentary about old hairstyles and clothing will concern much of the hilarity. Bald characters will have big hair. Women will dress the opposite they are usually seen. Fat characters, sadly, remain fat.

Appearences: 227, FRESH PRINCE, JEFFERSONS, FAMILY MATTERS, etc.

  1. Each show will usually guest-star some breakout black athlete, musician or popular movie star who essentially plays themselves, whom the show’s characters meet in some scarcely believable but earnestly contrived manner. Incidents may include A) stalking the guest star’s hotel room, B) filming of a movie scene nearby, C) Being the head of their fan club D) or (my personal favorite) having a car accident with the blind celebrity’s chauffeur. (IMPORTANT: to further the illusion of a single monolithic African-American community, the black star MUST visit the sitcom family in their own home. While everyone expresses surprise, nobody will think to run to get a camera.)

Appearances: MARTIN, FRESH PRINCE, COSBY SHOW, DIFF’RENT STROKES, etc.

  1. All shows set in middle-class black families will be uniformly cliche in that they will almost never discuss REAL problems of contemporary African-American life, like Driving While Black, The Teenaged Daughter Pregnancy Scare, the Gay Son, or Interracial Dating. Also: to help white viewers identify more readily with their characters, black kids are rarely called Afrocentric names like “Moesha”, “Keenan” or even “Arsenio” – but are instead given generic names of a generation (or more) back, like ‘Theo’, ‘Denise’, ‘Rudy’, ‘Carlton’, ‘Will’, ‘Ashley’ and ‘Hillary’.

Appearances: You know the shows I mean.

  1. Comedies set in the love lives of professional twentysomething African-Americans involve the same cast: at least two bitches, one flaky female, a flakier male and the obligatory tall, bald-headed brother with the shiny dome. If there’s only one guy in the cast, chances are he’ll have hair and be a flake `cuz HE AINE TAGGING NOBODY. While every character will be spotlighted with a new love interest every couple of episodes – and living in close proximity to live-in booty in case of a drought – amazingly enough, nobody will ever be straight-up shacking up.

Appearances: HANGING WITH MR. COOPER, LIVING SINGLE, GIRLFRIENDS, MARTIN, FOR YOUR LOVE, etc.

  1. Comedies centered around cute little black kids with hormonal deficiencies that prevent normal growth are obliged to have the one very ‘special’ episode where the kid looks up at his white guardians and notices his own skin color, and asks, fearfully: “Oh, no! I’m going to be another used up, out-of-work actor in fifteen years, aren’t I ma’am? George?”

Appearances: DIFF’RENT STROKES, WEBSTER.

  1. Many shows invariably have a character develop some sort of beloved zeitgeist catchphrase audiences latch on to and won’t let go. “Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?” “Did I do that?” Dyno-mite!" “Ha-glory! – You fish-eyed fool!” “Elizabeth! I’m coming to join ya honey!” “What! You Honky!” All fun stuff, but these same phrases can be the trigger of a postal worker-level psychotic episode if asked of the same actors years after their series end and they can’t find work anywhere.

Appearances: Identify 'em yourself.

  1. One of the show’s star will unexpectedly quit the show, leaving the show’s writers scrambling to explain their sudden, unplanned absence. Explanations have ranged from the tragic to the vaguely unlikely: “Killed on an oil pipline in Alaska” ; “She quit school on the other show and is volunteering time in the Peace Corps in Africa” ; “What do you mean, Redd Foxx really had a heart attack?” The void is usually taken up by a hungry, if unspotlighted, lesser character – like the easily confused gray-haired buddy or the Black American Princess Southern Belle with the Bad Fake Accent – who steals the show and takes it on to bigger success (or, more often than not, is trying to keep in on the air as long as they can before it nosedives, crashes and burns.) Failure is guaranteed whenever the missing star is a mother who is replaced by another actress.

Appearances: SANFORD & SON, FRESH PRINCE, FAMILY MATTERS, GOOD TIMES, ROYAL FAMILY, DIFF’RENT STROKES etc.

90

Cliche #14:
Two of the regular characters (usually the straight man and his wacky sidekick) will find themselves stranded outside someplace…camping without a tent, locked out of the house, broken down in a convertible car…any place outside. The wacky one will turn to the straight one and say, “Look on the bright side, it can’t get any worse.” *
sfx: Thunder booms, lightening flashes, and suddenly they are in a downpour.

  • Or even more cliche-y, he’ll say, “At least it isn’t raining!”
91

Re: Black Comedies

Puh-LEEZE! You didn’t even TOUCH on Homeboys in Outer Space!

–Tim

92

Oh god, please don’t mention Homeboyz in Outer Space, that makes me want to hurl.

Another one used AGAIN and AGAIN:

Character will have devil character and angel character appear on their shoulders. Devil character will say “Go ahead! Do it!” followed immediately by angel character agreeing, and saying “Yeah! Do it!” Hilarity ensues. Nowhere anymore have I actually seen the angel character disagree. Rrgh.

Also, as everybody already knows, people who have no job skills and don’t do anything can afford $100,000/month apartments.

93

Actually, I remember Fresh Prince having a couple of episodes dealing with “REAL problems”–the one that stands out the most is when Will and Carlton are driving are BWM and get arrested, even though they’re doing nothing wrong (actually, they may have been doing wacky; I don’t remember).

94

I’ll use the Friends episode-naming convention for more:

The one where they go on a cruise ship

The one where they go to Las Vegas (or to New York, if the show is one of the three or four that aren’t set in NY)

The one with the natural disaster (location-specific):
Earthquake, for shows set in California
Hurricane, for Florida or southeast coast
Blizzard, for north or northeast
Tornado, midwest

The one where everybody gets sick. (cold, flu, food poisoning)

The one where a character must make up with relative after they haven’t spoken in years

The one where a character has a disturbing dream (usually a sex dream about another character) and tries to analyze it

To add to our standard characters list: the Invisible Ones (Carlton the doorman, Vera Peterson, Maris Crane)

In addition to Christmas Carol and Wonderful Life episodes, there are some other common references:

Cyrano de Bergerac plots.
Star Trek references of all kinds.
He Said She Said plots.
“I’ll be back.”
and musical ones:
Dueling Banjoes when the characters get lost in the boonies.
Psycho violin screeches when a character sees or hears something scary. Not “horror” scary, but scary as in “that unattractive person has a crush on me!”
2001,(“Also Sprach Zarathustra”) played, with character doing something in slow motion.

95

Howabout the guy that ‘kinda’ speaks another language?
“He either said he found your keys or he likes to put house cats down his pants” Hilarity ensues.

96

dont know if this has been saied before… but

1)if a woman is dizzy or sick she is pregnant
2)if saied woman is pregnant all family problems are gone (for example - they were near a divorce then wife find sout she is pregnant… and oh joy! Everything is fine again)

97

This is more a movie cliche, but it goes so well with Dodgy’s–the first sign of any terminal illness is always a cough.

98

If a character drops something, they and another character will bump heads as they both try to retrieve it.

If a male character lies to impress female character he’s just met (or doesn’t correct a misconception she has about him), later in the show something happens causing her to say how much she admires honesty. Male character will then confess truth to her and she will dump him.

99

And don’t forget the ever popular IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE ripoffs.

100

The “surprise” turn, where A has done something wrong, B is about to rebuke them for it, but mid-sentence says something along the lines of “You did that for me? How sweet”