Since I know the man has some other fans on the SDMB…
You’re in Florida. You’ve innocently uncovered an underworld of slime and corruption that threatens to bring yet more destruction to this embattled tropical paridise. Powerful forces are now after you, and they will silence you by any means necessary to prevent the truth from getting out.
In short, you’ve accidentally stumbled into a Carl Hiaasen book.
Just when things look their bleakest, you discover you have an ally. Who do you want it to be: Al Garcia, or Skink?
I choose Al Garcia. Three reasons why:
- Food. With Garcia, you get to eat in normal restaurants, and all you have to do is put up with his cigar smoke. With Skink? Do the words “snake on a stick” strike terror in your tastebuds? :eek:
- Garcia may sometimes violate the laws of Florida, but he stays within the laws of nature. Skink I’m not so sure about.
- What happens if Skink gets arrested half-way through my book, I ask you?!? Jim Tile can’t always be the first and only officer to respond. Garcia’s a lot safer. Not as funny, but safer…
My man Skink will find a place to hide me in the bayou. He has connections with all sorts of out-of-the-way shantytowns that dwell in the ever-shrinking Everglades. Once I’m there, he’ll be setting up traps and releasing wild animals to stop any pursuers that may stumble onto my hiding place. And even if they get past that, Skink’s not afraid to use brutal and ironic forces to dispatch the bad guys (usually preying on whatever phobias or character flaws the city-slickers have). All I have to do is put up with no electricity for a few days.
Skink does have the car full of books…
Hey, other Carl Hiassen fans! Groovy! I grew up in Miami reading his Herald columns and his novels, and he was one of my heroes. He was a big reason I went to the University of Florida and studied journalism, even though I didn’t end up following in his footsteps. Great guy, fantastic writer.
D’oh! I meant “Hiaasen,” not “Hiassen.”
Just can’t take the bugs that Skink seems to deal with, no goopy army bug dope for me, but then that’s basically my argument against South Florida. Al, while probably a pain in the ass to deal with, seems like a stand up guy. I choose Al.