For a couple of months now, there’s been this lovely orange and white tabby who shows up on my front deck and who will hiss and runaway if I approach him. However, if I leave food out for the little fella, he’ll skirt around, staying at least 4 feet away from me as he makes his way to the food bowl. I’ve tried everything that I can think of to get him to allow me to get close to him, but so far, nothing’s worked. The latest thing that I’m trying, is I’ve left one of my dirty shirts on a chair he likes to curl up in, hoping that he’ll associate my scent with security. I don’t know if it’s working or not, but I did finally manage to get a photo of the little bugger curled up on my shirt.
Will he eat if you sit more than double your body length from him, in a non-threating (can’t pounce) stance? Have you tried that too? They are very good at gauging our reach, and wary cats always stay out of our range. If you stay around, sitting quietly, while he eats he might get used to you. Make sure if he looks at you as you watch him that you slowly squeeze your eyes shut while meeting his gaze. That is a signal from cat to cat that they mean no harm. An intense stare without that is a sign of aggression.
You are on the right track. Food, patience and some treats are the way to go. We are trying to do the same thing to a family of cats hanging around here. Mom and her three kittens are getting food and a cushion or two to sleep on out of the elements. Slowly they are letting us get closer.
Keep us up to date on your progress.
I made progress with a wary stray once by making a purring sound when it wandered into my backyard and tried to avoid coming too close to me. Someone told me that the purring of cats is often a signal between cats that the purrer is ‘harmless’ and wishes the other cat no ill will or sour milk.
It worked, he relaxed as soon as I started and within a few weeks was coming to meet my shins at the appointed time.
I think you are doing all you can do for now, the shirt is a nice touch!
He’s probably feral. It’s going to take a lot of patience and then probably ain’t going to work.
To handle a cat you must get to it early, while its still very young.
It is possible to get a feral adult cat to at least come indoors during bad weather, and permit your touch from time to time as well. They won’t be as cuddly or “tame” as other cats, but they can grow to trust you and even like your company.
He might be feral, I don’t know. I do know that one of my neighbors has chased him with a broom. He’ll eat if I’m out there, but he hides under the couch, and if I make the slightest move (like scratching my nose), he flees.
Good on you for trying with the little guy. Ferals have a rough go of it. Are you looking to bring him into your home or get him trapped so you can take him to a shelter?
If you are looking to bring him in, here’s my experience with my own little feral.
I adopted Morty from the meow foundation, a local no-kill cat shelter. He was trapped as a feral and brought to the shelter at 5 months old. I got him when he was 1 year old. He’s very submissive and had not been doing well at the shelter. The day he was brought to my house, he escaped from his carrier twice by unlocking it (they had to duct tape him in). Consequently, he was so terrified that he defecated in the carrier. He lived under my bed for 2 months, virtually, and wouldn’t come near me. Here’s how I brought him out of his shell.
First, buy a feather wand. like this one
The advantage of these is that you can interact with the cat and pet him from a secure distance. I rubbed it in catnip and put it in front of morty, slowly getting closer and closer until I could finally pet him.
Second, get some stinky food. I used canned salmon. I would put it close to him, and then gradually he got used to taking it from my hand.
Third, talk to him, all the time you are within earshot so he gets used to your voice. I used to read to morty.
It took me three months, and now 6 months later I can pet him. He’ll never sleep on my lap or let me pick him up, but the purring, the feeling of him sleeping at my feet in bed and the trust I see in his eyes is payment enough… that and knowing he’ll be safe.
What a cutey btw.
Any chance to share.
It all depends on how tame he becomes and if he’ll get along with my present cat. So far she hasn’t gone after him AFAIK, but she’s gone after other cats in the neighborhood. At the very least, I’d like to get him to a no-kill shelter.
That’s an awfully cute kitty you’ve got there as well.
Thanks… I’m fond of him as well 
It’s all going to depend on who is more dominant… My first cat, Jakkob, is somehow the dominant in the relationship with Morty. Though I will say, his battle cry when he goes after Jakkob is simply pathetic. He’s a siamese, and a runt to boot - he sounds a bit like an effeminate mouse.
I did catch Morty pinning Jakkob down the other day to give him a good cleaning… aparently he’s not happy with Jakkob’s cleaning habits, which is apropo since Jakkob was improperly weaned and hasn’t really learned to groom. Ah cats.
Anyway, back to the topic.
Some ferals are submissive to the original home cat, depending on what their experience has been in the wilds… I hope it works out. At the very least, I love that you are looking into a local no-kill.
This is gonna sound kinda nuts but here is what I do with cats and it works (almost) every dang time.
Sit where the cat can see you when he eats. When the cat looks at you make direct eye contact with the him for about a second. Then slowly blink and after you blink slowly break eye contact. You should be the first to break eye contact. When you do this don’t move anything but your head. Do this a couple times every time you see him.
I’ve done this with a bunch of cats and every time I’ve ended up having the cat come over to me. I had a couple strays that this worked with. I also had a friend whose cat would not go near anyone. When I was at her house the first time I did the blink thing for about 20 minutes and the cat came over and sat on my lap.
My theory on this is that the cat sees you making eye contact and thinks* “Holy Crap! He’s looking at me! Oh, wait a minute, he’s closing his eyes! He can’t attack me with his eyes closed! Right on! I own that sucka now! Look, he’s closing his eyes again! He knows I’m the boss! He is cool, since he knows I AM THE BOSS.” Or something like that.
I’ve only had one faliure using that method. The failure was my parents cat, a full siamese. That cat was pure evil, it hated everyone but my parents. As soon as I made eye contact with her she would start hissing.
And, yes, I know it sounds nuts but it does seem to work well. Either that or cats just dig me.
Slee
*As far as cats can think.
Kitty’ll warm up to you with a little time and some patience. I second the sitting around idly near him while he eats. Sit right on the ground so you’re at his level. Talk once in a while to him in a low soothing tone. Kind of look around and act like you’re not really interested in him, like he’s just part of the scenery. If you’re constantly looking at him he might misconstrue it as a sign that you’re stalking him. If he does eventually approach you, present the back of your fist to him to sniff. That way if he becomes spooked and tries to nip, it’s a lot harder to nip a closed fist than fingers.
I’ve got some ideas for you (to try at your own peril, of course 
); cats can rarely resist the lure of a face presented to them; you could try getting down on his level and making your face available for him to come sniff. Skittish as he is, it doesn’t sound like he’ll be over any time soon, but you can keep it in mind for some day. You might also try to make a sound like a tiny little kitten; he’s a boy cat, so he might not be interested, but my girls always have to come see where the kitty is when I do that.
I would also suggest that cats aren’t stupid, and are quite opportunistic; if you give him the cushy life, he has no reason to leave, and every reason to keep coming back.
And both kitties are gorgeous. Skitters is a great name for a cat. So is Morty.