Careful with those assumptions, Eugene! For all we know, the community officer could have seen the woman park, and instead of confronting her chose to call her boyfriend the cop who just happened to be driving past the location such that the whole thing transpired in 30 seconds.
Most likely, the reality is somewhere between these two extremes. But both parties have an interest in skewing the facts in their favor. And none of us will ever really know.
A friend of mine was actually charged with child endangerment for something very similar. Was dropping off an older child at lessons, in a small out of the way office park type area. Infant was sleeping. She left her 10 year old in the car to watch the infant while she went inside to drop off the 7 year old kid. She could see the car through the big plate glass windows. 10 to one, knowing her as I do, she probably started chatting with other mothers. Less than 10 minutes later, cops showed up.
She fought the charges, paid umpteen thousand dollars in lawyers fees, had to make numerous court appearances, go to some sort of family counseling on how to be a good parent and it was still on her record even though the charges were dropped. After two years of it being a complete pain in the ass, it was dropped from her record.
Usually around here, it’s not that big of a deal if someone leaves their kids in the car while running into a convenience store, or the PO, or even to drop the kids off somewhere. Very common. She, however, has a very strong personality, can be a real bitch, and is a tad irresponsible. I’m sure one of the other busybody mothers took it upon themselves to teach her a lesson. What I am surprised about, is that the county continued to try to make an example of her.
A father doing the whole Mom-gig with little 'uns?
REALLY doing it, not just stepping in after the wife has set the stage by managing all the details? You’re up there with the white buffalo and that eight-legged kid.
As far as real risks to children, the drive TO and FROM whatever destination is a much bigger danger than sitting in the car asleep w/Mom watching nearby. Assuming that the weather was favorable.
Enough kids have died or been carjacked in the Bay Area to make me a bit intolerant. While I think it is okay to leave an older kid with a child (and I’m not sure how old) otherwise if a parent doesn’t run back to the car immediately when a cop or something similar is looking at the car, the parent is too damn far away.
In the story in the OP, what the hell were the flashers about? The only reason I could see for putting them on is if the car was parked illegally, and the mother thought the flashers made it okay. Or did she want to call attention to the baby in the car alone?
My question is: if she does this, gets caught and there are no no repercussions, where do you draw the line? With the the person who runs in to pay for gas and pick up a 6 pack? The person who runs in to get her hair done? The person who runs into gamble for a few hours? I’m sure all of them don’t think of the harm that can come to their child in 5 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour.
I don’t have kids, but I don’t even leave my iPod in the car when I run in to pay for gas.
Over here, people leave kids in prams outside shops all the time… not even in a locked car. I can’t understand what the big deal is.
In the locked car?
Yes, in the locked car. I don’t want to give anyone reason to break my windows. I don’t leave anything someone might want to steal in my car. Ever.
You don’t have a car stereo? I know this is a bit of a hijack, but the three times my car was broken into in Seattle, the thief tried to jimmy out the car stereo.
And to address a couple of other issues, yes, it is a major pain in the ass to unbuckle multiple children from their car seats, especially if one or more of them had been sleeping, get their jackets buttoned, get them out of the car safely, go a few feet to drop the letter in the mailbox, give the change to the Salvation Army guy, use the outdoor ATM, or whatever, and then get them all back into the car and rebuckled. I’m super happy for anyone that does not find this to be a pain in the ass and somewhat of an ordeal and would like to subscribe to their newsletter.
Furthermore, in my earlier parenting years, I probably would have been right on the “OMG CHILDREN MUST NEVER BE LEFT UNATTENDED FOR A MICROSECOND” bandwagon, but the years have taught me that pretty much anything you do with your kids incurs some amount of risk, and you just mitigate that risk when possible. Nothing is ever 100 percent safe. But the risk of leaving a sleeping kid in a locked car when I am within sight distance and it is a cool day = negligible. And I think the hysterics about this particular case are a bit ridiculous, just from the facts I’ve read in the articles about it.
Wow. I mean, if I’m going to be gone from my car for some time I’ll put things in the trunk, glovebox, or otherwise out of sight. But I sure don’t feel that in the places I drive that my car is in danger of a smash and grab every 5 minutes. I would roll up the windows and lock/unlock the doors using the keyfob. Seems a pretty short step from not bringing your iPod (or wallet or wearng jewelry) with you outside of your locked house because people have had their belongings grabbed on the street…
Well written, MsWhatsit.
Just a stock car stereo - nothing fancy, and much less of a draw than an iPod (or a child) sitting out in view.
Like I said I don’t have children and I am sure that grabbing my iPod, unplugging it, and taking it with me is less of a hassle than all that stuff you have to do with a kid (but then again, for $400 I can go buy a new iPod)…but where do you draw the line and press charges for children left in the car? I feel that by letting this woman go other people will leave their children unattended too, with more tragic results.
I am going to go out on a limb here and say that most people lurking in parking lots trying to break into cars are more interested in snagging a new iPod than in snagging a 3-year-old kid.
As far as where to draw the line, I’m happy drawing it at, “is the vehicle within sight?” As far as I’m concerned, if you can see the car, the kids aren’t unattended.
it is easier to unplug it and toss it in my bag, I could leave it in the glove box, but summer heat and all…
I’m glad I survived a childhood where I was recklessly endangered so often! Parent paranoia was a little lower when I was growing up, and as a kid I know I always wanted to stay in the car. On a typical short errand there is no real risk.
You don’t list a location. I’m really curious where you are that you think there is any realistic chance of your car suffering a smash and grab while in front of a gas station. I’ve just never personally heard of such a thing happening around my parts - Chicago area - but I readily acknowledge I may have missed the reports. I would think a well-lit public location like a gas station would further decrease the risk to possessions in a locked car.
Nothing wrong with you taking whatever precautions make you feel better. I’m just trying to wrap my mind around what I think of what you describe.
And I second the thought that few folks in their right mind would intentionally steal someone else’s kid as a crime of opportunity. Most people don’t realize that their kids are not nearly as attractive to the rest of the world as they are to their parents…
:dubious:
I do “…the whole mom gig” pretty frequently, if by that one means feeding, bathing, diapering, potty training, getting into and out of clothes, taking places, etc.
Leave a sleeping kid in the car for short periods? Yup, done that.
The whole unbuckle child from carseat, re-arrange his snowsuit, get his hat and mitts on, waking him up (and he’ll be cranky) … just to carry him with on a minor errand = not worth the trouble.
Zero tollerance attitudes have small place in the messy reality of raising children, with the exception of intentional malice.
My daughter had her pocket book stolen from her car in a gas station when her back was turned. It doesn’t make the papers, but it happens.
I live in a pretty good neighborhood, so I don’t have to worry, but my new car stereo has a detachable faceplate, so I can take it in with me if I’m in not so good a neighborhood. It’s an old car also, which might help.
Aaaaahhhm just sayin you’re rare, not that you don’t exist.
Take into account that he disputed my account with a reply that he’d BTDT.
I’m assuming the car was not locked at the time. And petty thefts - as well as damage to vehicles - that are reported to the cops do make our local papers. But only if they occur in the immediate area - which I acknowledge is enjoys mighty low crime rates.
Pay at the pump.
Pay at the pump.
Pay at the pump.
Pay at the pump.
Seriously, why anybody even needs to go into a gas station to pay anymore is totally foreign to me.
(bu, bu, bu, I needs my smokes)
Get yourself a checking/debit card from your bank with the little visa logo on it and join the 21st century.
signed-
haven’t been to the inside of a gas station in over 10 years