Originally posted by the logic master:
Sure! Don’t mention it. That’s what we’re here for.
Zette
Hey, I don’t smile at work, or going to work, not for nothing anyway. My smile looks like I did something and got away with it. I especially hate it when cops and girls confront me and ask me, “What are you smiling about?”, like I was some kind of pervert or whatever. I have never been convicted, and I don’t want to be convicted for smiling at an inopportune time. So I don’t smile like a phony in public. I do have a hearty laugh though from time to time, perhaps too loud for some. Do each of you give yourselves a good laugh sometimes?
Yep. I read Terry Pratchett and Janet Evanovitch. A couple of weeks ago, while reading Evanovitch’s Hot Six, I thought that I’d pass out, because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t catch my breath. It was worth it, though.
Besides that, I’m an administrator of this site. THAT provides me with plenty of chuckles.
When a complete stranger asks you to smile, do so. But make sure you do it right.
Start out by looking directly at the person. If they aren’t standing directly in front of you, quickly whip your head around to look in their direction, like a cat that just heard a firecracker.
Slowly open your eyes very wide, and break into a big, crooked grin, showing as many teeth as possible. Stare at the stranger for about five seconds, holding this expression; if possible, refrain from blinking during this time. (You know that woman at the end of the video for Black Hole Sun? That’s approximately the look you’re shooting for.)
Then begin to laugh. Note that this is not a derisive snicker, nor a good-natured belly laugh. It should be a high, erratic giggle, ideally issued at a pitch just slightly lower than that of a dog whistle.
If you do it right, the idiot will not only leave you alone, but also think twice (at least!) before pestering anyone else on the street.
I don’t smile excessively but I have many times laughed myself silly. I just get something funny in my head and can’t stop myself. So even though I don’t walk around with a Bozo the Clown grin all the time, I am quite capable of happiness and joy; I just don’t want to be told to appear that way to make other people feel better. 
It’s funny that so many people interpret the simple word, “smile,” spoken by itself as a bad thing. I always interpreted it like, “Hey I don’t know you and will probably never see you again, but I wish you happiness.”
Sometimes, when it breaks my train of thought, I’m slightly annoyed. But it’s like they’re sending me a good vibe, so I accept it and move on. Nothing lost or damaged. Getting pissed off is just too draining for me.
-Katy
**
Heck yeah, every time I see this thread, I find myself saying the words with the reply, as though to someone in passing: “Smile!” “FUCK you!” and it just brings out a giggle. Ahhhh, I feel better already. Hey, maybe this smile thing works!
I also tend to walk around with a serious expression, and therefore have to deal with people telling me to smile.
My favorite example of this occurred in the summer of 1993. I had just moved to Belfast to do some community work. This was before all the ceasefires and the peace process, and I lived in an Irish Republican part of town.
I’ve been there maybe 2 days, and I’m walking down the Falls Road checking things out. All of a sudden, there’s a young British soldier standing in front of me, pointing his rifle AT ME (this in itself was a little unusual, since the Brits normally just sort of held them across their chests) and with a sunny grin and an English accent, he tells me to smile.
To this day I don’t know why I was singled out–West Belfast is not known for being full of people who naturally smile at heavily armed British soldiers. Of course, I smiled at him. It didn’t seem like something worth getting shot over.
It IS an attempt to have power over you. The fact that this idiot held a gun to me and demanded I smile at him says it all.
Palandine
I have found that if I remember to smile, it often results in putting me in a better mood. And, crazy me, I prefer being happy to being pissed. It’s a mindfuck I can live with.
Also, when I am smiling, and make eye contact with someone else on the street, they often smile back, which doesn’t suck, specially if they’rs a nubile young thang.
Cheaper than Prozac or counseling.
Waiting at the station
with the workday winds a-blowin
I’ve got nothing to do but watch the passers by.
Mirrored in their faces
I see frustration growing
but they don’t see it showin’, why do I?
You’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the joy in your heart.
Then people gonna treat you better, you’re gonna find, yes you will, that you’re as beautiful as you feel.
– Carole King.
(with apologies for an aging memory)
A couple of things:
-
When my face is relaxed, the corners of my mouth point down a bit. From the time I was two till I was seven or so, my mother kept asking me what was wrong. Luckily I developed the ability to explain that my face was just RELAXED and everything was fine. But it sure got annoying before that! Imagine how annoying it is when you’re an adult, and a stranger commands you to smile.
-
I see this kind of comment as a power issue. As Lynn pointed out, predators scope possible victims with this kind of thing - they want to see if you are strong-willed or a more malleable personality. Note that the smile is an expression of submission! Check this pic out: http://www.learnlink.emory.edu/~npatel2/monkey.jpg
Creepy, huh?
- I have read accounts indicating that smiling at inappropriate times (as when you are sad or angry) can be indicative of/contributes to some mental disorders. I can’t remember the first book I read that discussed this (it was a book about OCD in children - one case study involved a father who would smile whenever he had a negative emotion - the opinion of the doctor was that this contributed to the child’s problems), but here are a couple random links I quickly dug up:
http://www.vaporia.com/autism/autismfaq-simi.html
Bottom line: just because you’re not smiling doesn’t mean you’re unhappy; a stranger’s presumption that he can demand that you smile is rude and ignorant at best, an indication of danger at worst; smiling when you don’t feel like it is not likely to make you feel better; mentally disordered people are known to do this - should we emulate them?
You know what’s the worst? What really hurts? Being told to smile when you’re already fucking smiling. I’m sorry I can’t smile to your satisfaction. I’m sorry I can’t flash those pearly whites. I’m sorry my face doesn’t fucking work right. I’m sorry that in all the time we’ve dated/worked together/gone to school together/etc. that you’ve failed to notice the difference between me smiling and not smiling. I’m sorry you’re such a fucking idiot.
I wish I had a nickel for every time I’ve had this conversation:
Me: [smiling like a fool]
Them: Smile! You should smile more often. You should smile bigger. You should give a real smile.
Me: [still smiling] What?
Them: [repeat brainless blather]
Me: [No longer smiling] Oh.
It may be a mere pitance of pennies, but it would be a physical representation of every thoughtless, careless barb I’ve suffered upon my heart.
Me being happy . . . last night in an ATT practice, a friend of mine was reading a question that started as follows: “The first one was invented at MIT and had a hundred parts-” one of my other friends buzzed in rather hard and said, without a hint of being wrong, “The computer”. The questionreader and I laughed for about five minutes . . everyone else thought it was riotously hysterical. Laughed so hard my stomach hurt and I nearly had to go to the bathroom. We were still occasionally laughing about it an hour later.
The answer to the question, by the way: The Purity Test.
I’ve been told by a lot of people that I walk around looking miserable. I rarely show if I’m happy, basically because of what Sunshine said: if you look happy, people assume you know stuff. Well, I do, sometimes, but when I’m already late to class and it’s an exam, go figure. I don’t want to show you how to get the hell on the other side of campus at 8 in the morning. I’m already pissed off; don’t make me pissed off even more.
However, if I’m happy, sometimes I’ll show it. Sometimes I won’t. I’ve found that when I look happy, most of the time something happens right quick to change that for me.
I’ve also been told that to look “normal” I have to contort my face. Fuck that. I’ll look the way I want to look, and fuck you if you don’t like it:)
I was sitting here WORKING on a computer problem, and the bitch in the next office says “My, that’s quite a scowl on your face”. BITCH! BITCH!
So I said “Well, it’s called concentrating. I do that when I’m working on a tough computer issue”.
The great part is she WAS the pseudo computer person before I came along, and she’s insanely jealous of me. She turned 6 shades or purple and I went back to work. I love life!
Zette
(looking for tacks on her chair)
I’m sorry your lives are so miserable and pathetic that the mere request that you smile sets you off. Drain Bead,(shouldn’t you actually spell it Bed?) Drain_Bed, (misspelled by me on purpose because I feel it should be spelled the way it should be pronounced) apparently you have a very sad life if you are always encouraged by others to smile. I wonder why you continue to live such a miserable life? Oh well, not my business, but I just love to put in my .02 cents. Smile, don’t smile. Personally, I don’t give a fuck. But I do pity you. Sometimes you actually seem human too. Pity. It’s amazing what sets some of you “dopers” off. Now there’s a term. “Dopers”. As if Cecil were some sort of pagan god that needs your worship. I like Cecils columns. They are humorous and informative. He must get quite a kick out of some of you “dopers” and your adoration of him. Possibly he even gets a warm fuzzy from it. Nah. He’s too rational for that.
SO to you all I say:
SMILE! AND HAVE A NICE FUCKING DAY!
Now react, my little meat puppets.
Pity there isn’t an “ignore senseless drivel” button here. Mods, any way we can get that up and running . . . oh, I don’t know, a month ago?
Then this entire site would be blank. With the exception of Cecil’s columns (well at least most of them).
usually I just get the “It can’t be That bad”, comment.
I just look at them funny and hope they feel better…
Well, if you feel that way, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
Unless you want to see them crapping all over all of the threads. If you see an inappropriate post, the best thing to do is e-mail the mods. End of story.