Smile? FUCK you.

So I’m walking across the street to catch my bus this morning. I’m barely awake, would rather be in bed, and I’ve been having a bad week anyway. But I’m minding my own business, when some dumbass from like, 20 feet away, screams one word at me.


No, he wasn’t a nutcase. I looked up and he was grinning at me. Total stranger, too. It might have been forgivable had I known him, but I had no clue who the fuck he was to be giving me this kind of command.

People, you don’t know me. You don’t know why I’m not smiling. It could be something as simple as the fact that I have PMS or I didn’t get enough sleep, or you could be telling me to smile after I just got the news that my cat died. As is, why I am or am not smiling is none of your business, and I am not required to look happy for anyone’s benefit.

The strange thing is, this happens with alarming frequency. I don’t care if random strangers on the street are scowling. If I even bother to pay attention, I simply assume that they are having a bad day, and leave it at that. I would never look at someone on the street and tell them, “Smile, it can’t be that bad.” But people seem to want to do this to me all the time.

Yes, I’m pissed. No, it is none of your fucking business. No, I do not feel the need to brighten your day by smiling at your command. This isn’t fucking Disneyworld. Cut me a goddamn break.

I hate this too. I guess I have a serious-looking face even when I’m in a jolly mood. I used to just give a weak little laugh whenever someone said this. Now when I hear, “Smile!” or “Why aren’t you smiling?” I reply with something like:

“Well, I guess I’m in a sad mood because I just had a miscarriage.”

“Sorry, my parents were killed yesterday and I’m a little upset.”

“Well, I’m not feeling very happy right now because I was just diagnosed with a brain tumor.”

It shuts people right up. You should see how uncomfortable and mortified people get - they just want to crawl into a hole. Now thatmakes me smile.

Hey Drain, this should help:

*It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears,
It’s a world of hopes, and a world of fears,
There’s so much that we share that it’s time we’re aware,
It’s a small world after all!

It’s a small world after all,
It’s a small world after all,
It’s a small world after all,
It’s a small, small world!*


(ducking, running and getting the hell out!)

Yup, I’m with missbunny here, I have a serious look more often than not so when I walk around people always think I’m pissed off about something. First off, who asked you. Secondly, sure, it’s nice that you’re concerned about another human being, but butt the fuck out. I was doing fine, I was perfectly content, until you come along like the damn expression police. I like bunnys’ suggestions, I usually am the nice guy and just tell them that I’m fine, I’m in a good mood, and no, I didn’t realize I looked pissed. I think it’s time for a little change.

I think I’ll start with “I just found out my fiancee is sleeping with my dad.”

or “I have got to get tested!”

just yesterday i was pissed at someone for this very thing. and it’s not just strangers - coworkers pull this shit sometimes.
it’s like ‘why the fuck should i walk around smiling like an idiot?!’
it reminds me of that thing in the movie ‘office space’ about having a ‘case of the mondays’.

ZW…you beat me to it!

I was gonna say “Drain! Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays!”

I, too walk around looking too serious apparently. I’m usually pretty deep in thought or concentrating, so I don’t sit around grinning like Howdy Doody. I also usually have a pretty good backache throbbing away and aggrivating me.

At least three times a week some fucknut says this to me, and it usually screws up my day. I start thinking “Maybe I look really pissy. God what if my face freezes like that and I end up looking like my mother?”

I have simply said “I just got really bad news” and left it at that. Gives 'em something to gossip about. I also once told the lady to cut back on her meds already and leave me alone. (That must have been a PMS, backache, computers crashing kind of day)

Fuck you, people! We’ll smile when something good happens, and apparently seeing you isn’t that good of a thing!


This happens to me all the fucking time!!! It is so aggravating! I mean, if I was walking down the street by myself with a huge smile on my face, what would that make me? If I was sitting at a bar by myself waiting for a friend, with a big shit-eating grin on my face, what would that make me? CRAZY - that’s what. Can I relax my facial muscles for one fucking second without some smarmy chickenshit loser telling me to smile? Is this a lame attempt at flirtation?

I live in a big city. Strangers don’t make eye contact with each other. They don’t say hi when passing on a busy sidewalk. Maybe these people are inbred tourists from some backwater swamp where people are so simple that they flash their gap-toothed grins at anything that moves. Well guess what? I’m not related to you, so I’m not interested in fucking you, so why don’t you go back to whatever cesspool you came from so you can smile at your sister’s muff all day?

I swear to god, the next freak that tells me to smile…

Our former department secretary used to demand I smile. The asshole programmer still does on occasion. I just stare at them and usually they find that they rather urgently need to be somewhere else. I don’t find their demands ammusing and I certainly don’t ever feel like smiling when they are near.

Studies have shown that united states women respond to all sorts of stuff by smiling. One experimentor slowly bent the subjects finger toward the back of the subjects hand until they reacted. Men wussied out and showed pain verbally or by wincing. Women just smiled at the experimenter. I don’t want to be like that.

I smile when i am happy, or amused. Idiots in my cubical demanding that I smile are not amusing in the least.

If I were an evil bastard, out looking for someone to victimize in some way, I think I would go for someone who is wandering around the city with a dopey, meaningless smile plastered on their face. You just know these people would be an easy target. They’re just skipping along, “La De Da De Da…” and then WHAM !!.. blunt force trauma.

If someone looks normal, or slightly pissed off, or whatever… they get to continue about their day unmolested.

Why should a smile be the default facial expression, anyway? You smile when you’re happy, you dumb-ass. If you’re not particularly happy, you don’t smile, unless you want some evil bastard to crush your skull. Words to live by.

i guess i dont understand the anger over such a pleasant request. so a stanger says smile and you dont feel comfortable smiling-- why is that so annoying? there are a lot of bad people in the world. focus your overwelming supply of anger on them. this is aa lot of meaningless wasted energy on a innnocent situation

My previous post was far too pleasant. So,

Fuck you, fucking ejits who ask why I’m not smiling!  Why don’t you mind your own goddamn business?  I’m not asking you why you’re so ugly!  I’m not asking you why you think a comb-over is a suitable way to do your “hair”!  Why don’t you take your sad, pathetic, boring life and find something interesting to do so that you aren’t preoccupied with the behavior of complete strangers?

I will smile when I damn well feel like it and not just because some moron thinks that altering the arrangement of my facial muscles will somehow improve his/her day…

Makes you feel like smacking them doesn’t it?

If these people would wander about handing out twenties with their smilie requests THEN I feel that I would have a reason to be smiling…

It’s annoying because it’s NONE OF THEIR GODDAMN BUSINESS why I’m not smiling.  And they have no business whatsoever making that “pleasant request.”

Why don’t those people focus their overwhelming supply of happiness on something besides presuming to inquire about the personal lives of complete strangers?

This guy reminds me of the freaky meditation lady" on the Ameritrade ads.

“Hold, hold, hold…and Debbiedebbiedebbie…where are you?”

By the way, Res. Thanks! I think I found me a new sig!
“If you’re not particularly happy, you don’t smile, unless you want some evil bastard to crush your skull. Words to live by”

{Note: I fixed the coding. :slight_smile: Lynn}

[Edited by Lynn Bodoni on 08-30-2000 at 02:51 PM]

Because it’s intrusive and patronizing, and sometimes it’s far from innocent. I haven’t done an exhaustive study, but in my experience, this “pleasant request” almost ALWAYS comes from slightly creepy older men. A few of them persisted long after I made it clear that their attention was not welcome. In my book, that’s harrassment.

I’m with Porpentine - it’s always creepy older men addressing cute young women, and it’s incredibly patronizing.

craiger…you’re one of them, aren’t you?

I bet you are.
[/end snipe]

Black12 hit it on the head with the whole “dopey smile = idiot/crazy person” thing. People are so concerned about what others might be thinking (about them or not) and it seems that they might believe that by telling you to smile, you’ll associate smiles and happiness with them, when you’re really associating irritation and meddling with them.

Not everyone feels the need to be perked up. Some of us are fine just the way we are, facial expression demonstrative or not. Just because you’re so insecure that you have to wear your every feeling on your mug doesn’t mean everyone else does too. Jackasses.

how does an obviously inflamatory greeting such as “smile” create such venom? because you all need someone to blame for the failures of your petty personal lives.
“smile” is not an intrusive statement. nobody is following you to your house and spray painting “smile” on your garage door. you people are so shallow and misguided no one is forcing you to smile. it is a completely innocent request that you can choose not to respond to. it is not demanding of your resentment.

because it’s stupid.
and generally, things that are ‘inflammatory’ create venom.


  1. Ironic that you typed “inflammatory” when I think you really meant “uninflammatory” - because people who presume to intrude on others’ personal lives are doing something inflammatory, whether they intended to start something up or not.

  2. “Smile” is an intrusive statement. Strangers are intruding on my personal life by presuming to know better than I do what the state of my mood is and how I should appear to the rest of the world.

  3. You are right, no one is forcing me to smile or not to smile - so why do strangers bother bringing it up in the first place? It’s none of their business.  And someone following me to my house and spray-painting “smile” on my garage door isn’t much worse than strangers accosting me and saying “Smile!”  Both acts are an invasion of my privacy.

  4. People who have the slightest concept of good manners don’t make “requests,” innocent or otherwise, of other people that they have no business making in the first place.