I am not tired. I am not bored. I am not upset. I am not sick. I am not in a bad mood, or having a bad day. This is how I normally look.
To those of you who are genuinely concerned about my well being: thanks, but all you’ve done is insulted me.
To the man who walked into the store, looked at me, and disgustedly said, “Boy, don’t you look enthusiastic!”: FUCK YOU!!! Did that seem enthusiastic enough?
To those of you who walk up to me and demand that I SMILE, then get pissed off when I don’t:
I would like to take this opportunity to tell you to go fuck yourselves. I figure it’s only fair. You tell me what to do with my body, and I tell you what to do with yours.
Are you suffering from depression?
No, that wasn’t an obvious joke follow-up. My general demeanor used to be rather sour. Until my depression got worse and worse and I finally got some therapy and realized I’d been depressed for some time. Zoloft helps, too.
…seriously, I hate this crap too. It’s one thing if it’s someone that sees you on a daily basis and notices that you may be a wee under the weather for whatever reason, but otherwise, it’s like a watered down, half-assed way of saying “You look like shit!”
Y’know, if you have a problem with my appearance/demeanor, keep it to yourself!
Thanks for your concern, but you’re missing my whole point. I’m not talking about my demeanor, I’m talking about my expression. My normal, relaxed, not-having-any-strong-emotions-at-the-moment expression. I’m talking about the fact that people assume there is something wrong with me if I’m not grinning like an idiot 100% of the time.
Dear Og, we must be twins seperated at birth!! I feel your pain. Actually had some asshole at work say that my husband must not be ‘taking care of me at home’ because I wouldn’t grin like a moron every time he wanted to flirt.
I’m right there with you, spizzum. My plain everyday expression generally elicits the same sort of commetns from people, just because I don’t walk around grinning from ear to ear.
It did come in handy once. I was in a bar during a rather slow period and the bartender made one of those stupid-ass comments about how I looked down. So I fed him some line about my girlfriend cheating on me with my best friend. It got me a free beer.
I’m extrapolating here, but these encounters are taking place on the job, with the general public, right?
Please take the following comments in the gentle spirit in which they’re offered, as befits one whose entire career has been spent in public service. It can drive a person batshit at times, heaped upon the ordinary stresses of personal life. This place (and many others) abound with primal screaming about idiot customers.
But if that many total strangers are commenting on your dour and forbidding demeanor, chances are the problem is with you. They aren’t intimately concerned with your happiness and well-being. Why in the world should they be? Their comments are probably pointed feedback, i.e. they feel offended by you. The fools wandered into your store, money singeing their pockets, expecting–I dunno–at least professional neutrality while they spend their little guts out, even if you can’t muster friendliness or enthusiasm.
I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic, spizzum; worked too many jobs I hated like poison for that. But it is still a job. Not all customers are jerks, and none of 'em deserve less human slack: a fair shot at courteous neutrality at the very least. I happen to be a consumer my ownself and it sucks to feel like I’m adding to someone’s horrendous woes just because I need to buy stuff.
Every time someone said that to me, I always wanted to kick them in the head and then tell them that it takes no muscle movement at all for my face to look like it does when it’s at rest, even if, to you, it looks like I’m frowning.
Instead, I’d either ignore them, give them a wan smile so they’d shut up or, here recently, just tell them point blank that it’s just how my face looks at rest.
Most people find that endlessly amusing for some reason though, so I think I’ll stop.
I feel your pain. I don’t think I’m a miserable person and I can be a lot of fun, but when I’m at work, I’m there to work. I’ve had more than one person complain that I seem to be in a bad mood (when I’m perfectly fine) or I’m not being nice (because I didn’t start chatting right off the bat), when all I want to do is get the job done that I’m there to do. I don’t mind chit-chat, but only after I’ve seen some work getting done. I never know what to expect when I walk in the door, and yeah, sometimes the people I see make me more serious and withdrawn because I know they’re going to be running off at the mouth while I’m busting my ass. But usually I’m just walking in the door, assessing the situation, and getting busy. They see this as anti-social. I don’t care. I wasn’t hired to be social. But I can be quite pleasant if you just get your fucking ass in gear and put your jaws in neutral.
Once in a while someone will tell me to “Smile!” These are usually people ambushing me out of the blue while I’m working my ass off. I think people mostly say this when they want to chat but don’t know what else to say. My usual response is that only idiots walk around smiling about nothing.
I wouldn’t stress about it.
And since this is The Pit: Fuck them.
I disagree. If your job includes dealing with customers, it most definitely requires “being social.” Nobody has to gush, but shit, get a grip on reality. You’re overhead. They’re profit. No customer has to “get their fucking ass in gear and jaws in neutral” to get decent service. Easy ones will, and they’re the majority, given a decent chance and maybe a little basic human courtesy.
Customers don’t care if you’re 1. busy, 2. bored, 3. hate your job. They’re just around to hand over their money. Dealing with them IS the job. Everything else is details.
Just how much humble consideration do you extend to rude, hostile personnel when you’re shopping? “I’m just another pest, specifically to bother you while you’re dealing with niggly job demands amidst deep personal angst. When you have time, and if I’m not too much bother, please let me shell out some cash. But only if it’s convenient and my manner pleases you.”
Suck it up and grow up.
Ugh! You know how when some people tell you a joke that totally isn’t funny? Well, I guess what most people do is give the polite (fake) chuckle or smile. Me, I don’t, if you tell me a joke that I don’t find amusing the ONLY reaction you’ll get out of me (if any) is a :rolleyes:
The thing I hate about this is, when people tell me jokes like this and they don’t see me laugh or do anything; they immediately assume I’m some sort of dumbass that doesn’t get the joke. So to annoy me even further than they already have, they try to explain the UNfunny joke to me. Which just make me want to put on a little dress and some pretty red lipstick, whip out my sawed off shot-gun and start blowing people away at random.
Umm, with all due respect, TVeblen, I was referring to my lazy-ass co-workers! I’m pleased as punch to chat with my customers to a certain point (hey, we do have other work responsibilities as well), but I would prefer my co-workers refrain from telling me the mundane details of their lives if they are incapable of operating their limbs simultaneously. And at the very least, they shouldn’t act all surprised and offended when I stare at them blankly as I’m washing dishes while they idly stand there next to me flapping their gums.
Maybe with the customers. Not with the coworkers. They can go to hell.
I got this ALL THE TIME from my coworkers at the job I used to have. My weapon of choice? Passive aggression.
Coworker: “Oh, honey, you always look so sad. Why don’t you smile?”
Me: “Sorry, lady, but they’re going to have to put a lot more Prozac in the water supply before I crack a smile.” (then I smiled, but sarcastically)
Feel free to use this as your own.
Also, I look like a fucking country bumpkin when I smile, big ass crooked teeth and all. Yeah, I worked with a group of people who were nothing but country bumpkins so I wouldn’t have looked so terrible, but I never smile with my teeth when I can help it. It doesn’t mean I’m sad, it means I have fucked up teeth.
I should probably add that I’m quite aware our customers don’t appreciate trying to get someone’s attention when they are trying to get a cup of coffee, but instead get to hear one worker tell another worker how “my cat tore her stitches out and we had to take her back to the vet and it cost another $100 and my son is so upset about this and I…Oh, I didn’t see you there [standing 1.5 feet in front of me while I was paying all my attention to my friend], sir. May I help you?”
Then, I have to get really ornery and remind them that our customers are our first priority, our work tasks are our second priority, and socialization is a perk for a job well-done. After that I’m not just called morose, I’m downright bitchy. :rolleyes:
Completely reasonable, and my apologies that I misunderstood your point, Cinnamon Girl.
Co-workers who insist on chewing my ear off about evey detail about their every personal synapse-fart drive me barking, snarling mad too.
I just came off a day of shopping–and I hate shopping–where I was stressed out and didn’t take kindly to being treated like something just a tad less disgusting than a slug in a salad.
Ahem.
Never mind. I had a point round’bouts there. And it was gulderned cogent, dagnabbit!
Not a problem. And I hear ya. I had a customer get understandably upset towards a new girl tonight and he left before I became aware of the problem. All I could do was counsel the new girl on what we could have done differently and thank goodness that he didn’t go off on her like another one did to a more assertive co-worker the night before last.
Sheesh! I hate confrontation! Being on the other side sure has made me a much nicer customer myself. Actually, it’s gone both ways, I’m a better service provider as well.
FUCK YOU!!! 
