This is NOT the place to relate your sexual adventures. This is a forum for opinions on various subjects, and lists.
I am shipping this to MPSIMS, though it looks as if it will soon turn up in the Pit, or locked-off altogether.
[Edited by slythe on 07-26-2000 at 08:53 PM]
I’ve posted to this thread a couple times, but I guess my experience as a former smut shop employee wasn’t as interesting to the others as Prism’s. I ain’t sayin’ you’re a liar, Prism, but your stories are just SO elaborate…it ain’t as interesting as one might think it would be.
We had events…like I said, occasionally, actresses would be touring stores to promote a new line of videos or something. They’d sign stuff, flirt with customers, hang out, leave. They were scantily-clad, but not topless and wearing vibrating undies.
Women who worked for the stores would never have been allowed to dress in the costumes, for the same reason we weren’t allowed to clean the viewing rooms or the arcade. Corporate wanted to avoid giving horny male patrons reason to believe that the female staff was touchable, and frankly, sexist though it may be, all the female staff was quite satisfied with that rule.
I’ve been wondering about this:
What year was this? I worked in my store 5-6 years ago, and there was absolutely no letting teenagers through the door. If they couldn’t prove they were 18, they were out. Parents were turned away if they tried to bring their kids in with them, even if the kid was a newborn baby. Nobody under 18 got more than 2 feet inside the door.
Also, early on in the thread, Prism, you said that your store didn’t have a lot of rental stock. This seems wrong to me, as a damn good portion of the money my store took in was from rentals. All the movies that were for sale were also for rent.
We didn’t have hookers hanging around, either. Or people screwing in cars outside. Or cops trying to sting us. Or congressmen walking in with callgirls. And when transvestites came in, one of the most basic things a smut shop worker knows is that a transvestite is always referred to as “She”. Not he/she, not shemale, just “She”. Even if it’s clear that she’s a man.
Again, Prism. I’m not saying you’re completely lying, but it just doesn’t ring completely true, either. I believe you probably worked in an adult bookstore, but I think that a lot of your stories are bunk. I believe you’re the poster formerly known as Serlin, et al, but I don’t care. As far as this thread goes, all I care about is that you honestly represent the adult entertainment industry. The whole reason people are intimidated by it is because they have a false or conditioned notion of it and these outlandish stories just reinforce that notion. The fact is, it’s just a store. Some morons come in thinking they can get away with more because of this false notion that they have, but they get straightened out quickly. 99% percent of the clientele come, browse, buy what they came in for and leave, nothing to it.
Folks, in 1995 and 1996, I worked for The Bachelor’s Library and The Adult Emporium, both located in Des Moines, Iowa, and owned by Goalie Entertainment. I give you this information because
1)I don’t fear my safety with you guys
2)I don’t work for them anymore anyway
3)Hi Opal
4)At least this way you can see if those stores and that company really exist and you’ll know that at least one of us isn’t blowing smoke up your ass.
That’s it.
The guy’s as full of shit as a Christmas turkey. This tripe is clearly fictitious.
What’s more, I’d bet dimes to donuts that a few of these low-post-number people who showed up with their “This is fascinating; please tell us more” posts are Serlinel inventions as well.
You’re a little too in love with yourself, and your keyboard, dude.
But feel free to wow your captivated audience with more 15-inch posts from your creepy little imagination.
Wrong place for this, but oh well.
grrrrrrr
<----The Pit is over there, sheesh
:rolleyes:
Great golden groundhogs smothered in butter…
Not to be mean or anything, Techchick, but do you have to poke your nose in and make your presence known EVERYWHERE…even when it’s obvious you haven’t a damned thing to say?
Even if Prismo (had to do it, sorry) never worked in a porn shop and is making this all up out of whole cloth straight from his fevered imagination, right hand on keyboard, left hand frantically pumping away, it’s still been an entertaining read.
This thread has over 20 views for every post. Some folks, me included, are getting some decent entertainment value out of it. I am more than willing to keep watching this thread for Prism02’s posts, because they’ve kept me amused.
Now, to keep this on topic, which I always make an ATTEMPT to do…I have a couple of friends who both worked in porn shops. They have both said that even though they were somewhat adventurous in the first place, working there opened their eyes to different lifestyles and experiences. Heck, I’d be tempted to try to get a job in one myself…for the employee discount, if nothing else…but I don’t have the cojones.
[OnePostHijack]
Ok Vogue, you sure try hard to get a rise out of me. You’re actually getting a rise out of other people (look up a few posts for an example). Why are you so obcessed with me?? You must have no life. I suggest you go buy a “dildo,” and spend your time with that. That would be more productive. I know psychology modestly well and presume you have the hots for me. Well the feeling is not mutual. Besides, I’m not 16, in a dental office. :rolleyes: Keep it up, I will tear you to shreads.[/OnePostHijack]
Speaking of sex toys, I can’t believe no one has mentioned this: http://realdolls.com
I presume your pope name would be Beulah. Works for me but why go to the trouble of fluffing your hair if the post-hole-digger hat is just going to squash it down again.
Man, some people can be spoilsports. Even if the stories are apocryphal, they were damn good reads, and I saw nothing that indicated that everything on the board must be true. Now I see why some threads get dragged to the pit, some people get viscious when their e-territory gets stepped on.
I have read any of the other threads where Prism was posting, but this thread was a damn good read, so if people have issues with the poster, I wish they’d keep them in a proper forum.
And yes, remote control panties exist, my girlfriend has a pair. They let me tease her when we’re in public without anyone knowing. In a loud club or bar, no one can hear them.
If my hair gets flattened I’ll just squirt an extra spray of cheap perfume on my crotchal area to compensate.
. . . . in that case.
Children, gather 'round, let me tell you my adventures from when I was a 6’8", 650 lb, suma wrestler. It will all be lies, but hell, it will be a damn good read!
Tell a good story, and I will sit in rapt silence, I promise.
Diane offers:
And I’ll tell my stories of the world record liposuction marathon which returned Diane to her svelte, godess-like self! My old Hoover ain’t been the same since.
I worked for a while in a small Christian bookstore while I was going to College. The owner was a devout and kindly christian who was very fair towards his employees. Many’s the time where we would share in a prayer meeting after the store closed and praise the lord together.
It was interesting seeing some of the clients there. Some of the atheist college kids would come in blushing, not knowing that we had seen it all before. They would pretend to be browsing throught the bibles out of “scientific curiosity” so I would give them a knowing grin as they came with their purchases to the cash register. Sometimes it would be a young couple and they would whisper to each other until finally the girl would come towards me and ask me in an embarrassed tone of voice “Which ones are the catholic bibles? I want to read the apocrypha but I can never remember which books are the apocrypha.”
I once sold a teenage a King James Version Bible in the original english spelling. I was about to warn him that he might find it difficult to read when he impatiently said “yeah, don’t ask, my girlfriend can read this stuff.”
We sometimes had complaints from Jehovah’s witnesses that we didn’t carry the watchtower so after I mentioned this to my boss we added that to our inventory.
We had some teeny-tiny New Testaments that we sold at the cash register, that you could fit in your pocket and pull out at any time if you wanted to witness and praise the lord. I was astonished how many guys bought them for their girlfriends.
At the front desk we had a full Bible concordance and many women would use it to look up a passage in the Bible and then share some verses of scripture with me. I loved it!
We sold Chick tracts at a discount and sometimes some devout christians would come in and buy a case at a time. They tried to look like studs when they bought them, it was all I could do not to grin.
One Quaker came in once and told me she had a fine knowledge of scripture, and could quote the Bible with the best. I’ve got to say that the air of authority with which she affirmed this totally convinced me.
Another time a Hindu woman came in and asked me to explain Christianity to her. I witnessed to her and after listening to my testimony she told me she wished more Christian men were like me. After picking up a Bible and a Prayer Book she asked me what time I left work and when I said 6:00 PM she said “I’ll be back.” Usually after I helped bring a soul to Jesus I ran to our makeshift chapel in the back and prayed, but this time I decided to wait to see if she would come back. She did and we went back to her house and we praised the Lord together. She told me afterwards that my faith was as rock-solid as she had hoped and she was not disappointed.
I’ve got tons more stories to share, please let me know. I was collecting these to write a book called 'Conversations with God, and other stories" but real life intervened.
Drain Bead:
Honey? I’m sorry, really I am, but I am going to leave you for Arnold.
splort
I love you, Arnold! That was fucking hilarious…
Yer pal,
Satan
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Three months, two weeks, four days, 19 hours, 24 minutes and 23 seconds.
4392 cigarettes not smoked, saving $549.04.
Life saved: 2 weeks, 1 day, 6 hours, 0 minutes.
We had a lot of different styles of crucifix in our store. They were all sizes and colours. Once a young girl came in and asked to buy a crucifix on a chain. When I showed her a sample she said “No, I want the one with the little man on it.” I had to contain my giggles as I explained to her the different symbolism represented by a typical catholic crucifix.
I developped a sense for the clients after a few months working there. I kept a close watch on the snake handlers and the glossolalists. They usually were dressed in old-fashioned clothing and swaggered. They usually were not there to buy anything but would sometimes pull a snake out of their pocket and try to scare you.
I kept a vial of holy water under the counter. Sometimes a rabid agnostic would come in and try to convince me to adopt his heathen ways, but a little spray of holy water would usually calm them down. It never happened to me, but my work colleague used the water several times.
Then there were the long lean skinny guys who came in and asked us for books on repentance and how best to get God’s forgiveness for their grievous sins. We did our best to help them, the look in their eyes was sometimes haunting though.
Mostly the clients were average, law-abiding honest Christians. Mostly presbyterians and methodists. Their purchases were strictly in accordance with their church’s doctrines, with sometimes some experimentation with the more overtly catholic paraphernalia like the Virgin Mary statues. We didn’t sell too many of those though because they broke easily.
The Southern Baptists came in with the most impossible outfits. One man came in with a red tuxedo once. The woman were beautiful with their multi-coloured outfits and extravagant hats. Sometimes they had large gold chains spelling the word “Jesus” around their necks and a crucifix on their watch band. I loved it when beaded hair became popular again and some of our customers came in with the most beautiful blond hair in cornrows.
The christian bikers always acted like they were looking for trouble. When I saw a leather jacket with the motto “Christian 1 percenter” I knew to be more cautious. Sometimes they looked like they were ready to start trying to witness right there in the store, I got real tired of it.
When the Promise keeper movement started we had to start carrying Promise keeper T-shirts and self-help books. We also increased our christian cookbooks at the same time, but I could never tell if there was a correlation between the two. They were usually very strong in the Lord and their wives would be respectful and polite.
Well, I have to go back to work now, but maybe I can share some more of my stories later.
<sigh> You must have no shame. “Don’t tell my mom I sell Chick Tracts, she thinks I mop up the booths in the peep show.”
ROFLMAO!!!
Ok, I have to go get a rag to clean up the coke and spit that is all over my computer screen.