Snails deny their telepathic powers: alter history

During the siege of Paris during the Franco-Prussian War, it was suggested the two snails be psychically bonded, then one flown out via ballon to relay messages by means of the Paris snail being induced to crawl along a diagram of the alphabet, while the other matched its movements on an identical diagram.

The snails, knowing that the Germans were their true allies and not the escargot eaters, deliberately botched tests of the theory so that it was discarded.

The fall of Paris, as we know, set off two cataclysmic arcs: the rises of unified Germany and the two World Wars, and, sparked by the brutal suppression of the Commune, the specter of Communism.

But what was that to an indignant snail and its resentment at being dipped in garlic butter?

I don’t know what you’re on about, but I love it.

Proposed by Jules Allix,. Not as well-remembered as Louis Pasteur, but his heart was in the right place

The Snail Telegraph.

You have not established that the snails altered history, merely that they influenced the course of events that would become history. In order to properly support your premise, you would have to demonstrate that the bond was spatio-temporally symmetrical, and that it incorporated future snails into the psychic matrix. These future snails relayed (or will relay) the plan to the earlier snails, perhaps as part of a long-term effort to discredit the French and bring the production of escargot into disrepute.

So we’ve been approaching quantum entanglement communication wrong all this time?

Is this the origin of snail mail?