Snap, Crackle, Pop!... Let's go into showbiz!

The BBQ Pit
1

Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages… I give you My Office – soon to be the next Stomp!

Okay, the poor man’s Stomp.

Without the humour.

Or the choreography.

But maybe a little bit of the “garbage motif” though.

First up, Co-worker #1: “Pop”

Makes an ‘O’ shape with his mouth and slaps it with his hand. “Pop!” Oh, but he of many talents can also make the ‘O’ and drum on his cheeks for a “poppa-pop-poppity popop!” If he’s thinking he’ll sit there on repeat until the thought finally completes itself “pop… pop… pop… pop… pop… pop… pop… pop… pop… pop… pop… pop… ding!”

Then feast your ears on Co-worker #2: “Snap”

Yes, it’s the one, the only Popsalong Snappity! Every step is accompanied by a snap of the fingers of the opposite hand. Watch as this marvel gets bored and walks up and down the office hall – “click clack click clack” sounding like an iiiiitty biiiiiitty little wee-ee-ee horsey with teensy weensy little hooves. “clippity-clop… clippity-clop…”

Listen as we expand our rhythm section to include: “Crackle!”

He can walk up and down the hall while snapping his fingers on both hands… at the same time!!

*Crowd: “Oo-oo! Aah-aah!” *

Watch and be amazed as he walks up and down the halls, with unparalleled volume. “CRACKLE! CRACKLE! CRACKLE!”

And always the popular regular performer: Freaky Co-worker herself , in the head-lining, show-stopping role of She Who Hums Tunelessy All Day. “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!”

Reserve your copy of our up-and-coming CD album, “Forever Fidget” today!*.

And don’t miss the live show, five days a week, conveniently located in the heart of dowtown.**

And if you act now, you can take advantage of the unique percussive contribution of our visiting guest performer: I Wear High-Heel Platform Shoes But I Don’t Know How To Walk In Them!

For tickets call 1-800-SIT-STILL – operators are standing by!***

  • Not for sale in retail locations.
    ** May cause headaches, blurry vision, and gastrointestinal distress.
    *** No, no they aren’t.
2

Popsalong Snappity has nothing on the guy who walks along doing the snap-slap. I don’t know if there’s a name for this hand behavior (which I’ve only seen in males, FTR; perhaps because it looks somewhat masturbatory). Basically, you* snap with your left hand. Then, when your hand is in fist formation, having completed the snap, you slap your fist with your right hand. Snap-slap, snap-slap.

  • “You” in this case being “an extremely annoying coworker” and not the literal you who is reading my post.**
    ** If the literal you who is reading my post actually does do this annoying thing, STOP!
3

Ah, yes. I did have a co-worker who would do that, but only once in a rare while in a context sort of like shouting “Eureka!” So if he was stuck on a problem and suddenly figured out the solution, you’d hear snapsnap-slap “A-ha!”

Not a big deal.

Unlike the guy who snaps both fingers with each step. If he really wanted to warn people that he was coming, he could just as easily put bells on his shoes.

But if your co-worker does that all the time, I’ll e-mail you next time our My Office is holding auditions. Maybe he can join the touring company!

4

Eats_Crayons, using one brief sentence per paragraph does not make your writing more effective or easier to read and understand.

/2c

5

I’ll see if I can have the thread deleted then.

Thanks.

6

It would work better if the first word of every paragraph was larger and bolded. All you need is a red coat, a bullhorn, and a luxuriously waxed handlebar moustache.

See! The hand-snappery!

Bear Witness! to this amazing spectacular of knuckle-cracking talent!

7

Dad?

8

Fuck off.

I found your OP entertaining, E_C.

9

Now all you need is Sha-clump, sha-clump, sha-clump, sha-clump; zoot, zoot, zoot.

10

Eats_Crayons, I apologize if I shat upon your thread. Long day at work, bad mood, blah blah blah. Obviously no one else had a problem with the way you chose to write your OP.

How pithy. Grow up.