I know we started off a little rough. I just don’t like toll roads, and it just didn’t seem to understand that traffic is heavy and a 60 mph highway is only 40 mph. But I thought we had worked through that. I thought we really had an understanding. Things were good. I introduced my GPS to the parking lots of my friends. It knew where I worked, where I lived, where I buy my groceries…
sniff
But Saturday night, the girlfriend was driving me home because it was my turn to get drunk. I guess GPS didn’t like another person driving with it. It got us home OK but the next morning, I walked outside to find it had walked out on me. Not only that, but it convinced the stand and power cord to leave me too. It didn’t even bother to close the door behind it. Thank goodness I left the CD album at work or who knows what GPS could have convinced it to do?
Apparently, the sheriff’s deputy tells me, it was a liberating night. Over 30 GPSs just up and left their owners Sunday morning. Some were so desperate to escape their relationships, they even broke the windows to get out!
Wherever you are, GPS, I hope you’re happier with your new owner. But please know that if you ever want to come home, I’ll be happy to have you back. If you want to come home, I’ll be waiting on eBay, searching suspiciously through every NavMan listing near this zipcode.
There’s a police warning posted in my building that states that auto break-ins in that neighborhood have been on the rise. They warn you to not only take your GPS inside with you, but wipe away the little circle from your windshield that the suction cup leaves.
The GF was upset that she didn’t lock the door and was thus responsible for it. I told her that there’s no evidence that 1) if I were driving, I would have locked it, 2) they wouldn’t have broken the window, or 3) if she took or hid the GPS, they wouldn’t break in looking for it anyway. Of course, the fact that she forgot our anniversary this weekend made her emotionally fragile as it was. Wasn’t a good weekend for us…
What kind of GPS was it? My Garmin is password-protected, but I think a lot of GPS thieves might not know about the Garmin Lock feature for it to be any sort of real deterrent.
I don’t know about NavMan, but some manufacturers can flag your serial number so it can’t be serviced. They also might be able to deny map and software updates on it and maybe even disable it if someone tries.
So now the truth comes out. This was a troubled relationship from the get-go. Next you’ll tell me that you don’t even remember your first directions from the GPS. This is what happens when you take a GPS for granted…
Dude! Golden opportunity! She owes you one, its a Get Out of Shit Free card! She lost your techno-toy, you got it coming! Quick, get drunk and nail her sister!
Let it go man. My GPS was stolen about 6 months ago–bastards broke my window on a night when I got complacent and didn’t put it in the glove compartment.
For a time, I missed the female, robotic Australian accent of my GPS. I called her Sheila (DAMMIT SHEILA STOP RECALCULATING THE GODDAMNED ROUTE YOU WHORE). And then I met a nice girl with a sense of direction. It worked out pretty well. I hope the thief bought crack with the proceeds and is struggling with a crippling addiction.
I had to laugh at this most excellent post. Maybe if you’d been kinder to it and stopped drinking around it so much it wouldn’t have felt the need to run off. Were you abusive?
I’m curious though, why is it that the cops are having trouble tracking down a global positioning anything? Presumably, it knows where it is, right?
You know, I never stopped to think about it that way ,… they broadcast and recieve, so how hard would it be to give them an innate lowjack? You register them when you buy them so if you input the serial number into a website, you should be able to locate the GPS unit?
Well, it would only make sense that a device whose function is keep an accurate tracking of where it is on the planet would be, well, definitionally easy to find. After all, finding something is only a matter of locating where it is, a function uniquely suited to a device which, well, tracks where it is.