Ahhhhh, that explains her calling it “a Thai restaurant in an urban city” and why the lady didn’t ask if she rode a bike as a form of Asian solidarity.
I don’t think it applies either to that particular individual. That’s why I said
Thanks for all the feedback! I’m glad that I’m not the only one who’s :dubious: about that incident!
I also have to add that after that happened last night, guess what happened today? An Asian woman asked me questions about our menu in Thai (I guess to show off or something), and when I responded in Thai, she gave me a :eek: look and said:
“You speak Thai!?”
I can’t win, it seems!
Oh, and if anyone Bay Area Dopers are curious as to which restaurant I work at, just pm me.
As a server, it’s a bit hard to give people the look because you’re making your livelihood from their generosity (e.g. their tips), so you really don’t want to piss them off. I just stood there literally with my mouth open as she asked me those idiotic questions, but I guess my flabbergasted look wasn’t enough to hint to her that maybe she shouldn’t be asking those questions.
I was also astounded by her male companion. He kept telling me all these places he’s been to in Thailand and if I ever went there. I politely told him that yes, I’ve been to many of those places, they were very nice, but what does that prove? Does that make me more cultured because I’ve been to a few more temples than he has? He seemed to want to show how cultured he was by telling me that I should travel around Thailand more and get reacquainted with my roots. At this point I was about to sock him, but my manager nudged me to drop it.
I should also mention that I am the assistant manager at the restaurant, so I had full authority to kick them out if they got malicious, but I didn’t think they were intentionally being mean to me. If they had meant it in a mean-spirited way, then I would have booted them out before they had a bite.
I am absolutely amazed that someone would speak in a language and be shocked that the answer was in the same language. I cannot think of any reason for this surprise other than the customer was expecting you not to speak Thai and was just trying to show off.
Another situation that calls for expeditious use of “the look”.
Actually, after thinking about it, I guess she wanted to down on me for not being Thai enough since she heard me talking to my manager in fluent English. I get that sometimes from Thai people - when they hear me speak English, they assume I can’t speak Thai and that I’m ‘too American’ (I’ve actually been called that). So when I spoke Thai, I disapproved her notions that you’re either a fob who can’t speak English or you’re totally whitewashed and don’t speak your native language.
Next time someone acts like that, hide ex-lax in their food. If they notice, say, “It ancient Chinese secret. You be on toilet long time!” (Most of those people don’t seem to be fully aware that different Asian nationalities are actually, you know, different.)
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
After 9/11, most states added stronger food/product tampering laws. The news is riddled with stories of what happens to waiters/waitresses who pulled a dumb stunt like this. And went to jail! :smack:
You know, when I read this thread, I said to myself, “You know, this sounds like someone I’d expect to find in my uncle’s humanities class in Berzerkley. Only in a college town could you get the combination of educated… (They tried to speak thai! even if poorly, that’s mildly impressive) and completely socially unaware, with a double helping of the missionary complex, tied in with female liberation.”
“But… hell, Berkley’s full of chinese people. What the hell? It’s not even start of semester.”
Huh. I guess stupidity lasts.
Oh, you’d be risking your tip, all right, but oftentimes the look is much more satisfying than cash in hand.
Which would you rather remember a year from now-- that you held your tongue, or that you gave them an impeccable stinkeye?
Heck, they may overcompensate and give you a great big tip out of liberal guilt.
It seems most people in this thread blame the ignorant customer for being an ass. Fine. But I"m not letting the OP off the hook. Got lot’s of experience working in restaurants myself.
Look, they order the food, you serve it. It’s a little business transaction you’re engaged in. You’re expected to be polite and pleasant. You are not expected to whore yourself out to their nosy, ignorant enquiries into your personal life.
Don’t entertain stupid ignorant personal questions about yourself. They can ask about the menu. They can comment on the weather. They may ask about [whatever’s going on locally]. That’s it!
You’re a server. You’re not their “let me express my ignorance” bitch. I know you work for tips, but that doesn’t mean being everyone’s bitch. You said you do this during breaks to earn some cash. You need to take some shit. Along the lines of, "my fork’s dirty. I need more ketchup. This isn’t what I think I might have actually intended on, but didn’t actually order. I want some more water. And some more water. And more water, and more water, and more water, and more water, and more water, and more water, and more water, and more water, and more water, and more water, and more water, and some more napkins for the kids.
But you don’t have to let them insult you. If they decide to insult you anyway (and they will) look at them blankly and ask, “was there anything else I could get for you?”
Not only is this probably illegal, it’s also immature. I wouldn’t recommend it.
many hugs to Penchan, and would give her a huge tip if I ever ate at your restaurant
You had no business correcting their pronunciation. They’re not going to “you know, learn the language” and all it does is put them on the defensive. You lay out the menu and point to what you think they said; then they point to what they meant and everyone is happy.
I think you were being way too sensitive, and I don’t think you suffered “racial harassment.” I think you had a couple dumbass customers seated in your section, and they would have been irritating no matter who you were. If they hadn’t had your ethnicity to question you about (and if you’d stuck to taking the order, there might not have been a conversation at all–what followed their order was definitely an attempt to get a one-up on you) it would have been the university you go to, the region of the country you’re from, your age, or your clothes.
How horrifying. I admire your restraint. Seriously.
I’m a white guy with two South Korean-born kids. Ahhh, when they were babies. And toddlers. And old enough to know the “kindly, interested” stranger was being a racist moron. My top query?
" How old were they when they came?"
–6 months, and 4.5 months –
" Oh? What language do they speak? "
–Stares gape-jawed, walks away.–
I suspect that that white couple would angrily deny any accusation of racism. In fact, I bet some of their best friends are Thai. Just ask em. :rolleyes:
Penchan, I admire your restraint. Those are some deeply stupid and insensitive people you had to deal with. My condolences.
Excalibre, that was some bad advice.
Sattua, WTF? In every Korean, Thai, Japanese or Chinese restaurant I have ever been in, the items on the menu are numbered. If you’re saying “I’d like the Pad Med Mamuang Himaphane” instead of “I’d like #36” then you are attempting to use the language. Repeating it back to you correctly is an attempt to help, not to insult. And there is no excuse for the kind of obnoxious racial insensitivity they demonstrated.
I used to date a Thai restaurant waitress.
Maybe you know her. Her name was Sue.
True, I didn’t have to take it, but in hindsight, I know I should have just ignored them and moved on without taking it personally. But as it’s happening you can’t help but try to reason with some people. I guess I should have picked my battles and this one wasn’t worth it.
Eh, differences in opinion, I suppose. I have experienced a lot during my years of waitressing, and this seemed to me too big to just blow off, at least without venting first. What they asked and the way they asked them were too pushy for me to ignore or chalk to sheer ignorance. I mean, would you ask a complete stranger those questions? They were naive, but unforgiveably rude.
I should have added that it’s also to ensure that I’m understanding what they’re ordering so I don’t mess up the order to the kitchen. Every once in a while someone orders something in Thai and when I bring their food, they insist that’s not what they meant. So now I re-read every dish that people order so at least they’ll know it’s their fault for ordering the wrong thing, not that I misheard them.
And you should have heard the lady order. I honestly had no idea what she was trying to ask for, so I had to guess and repeat it to her to make sense of what she wanted.
So, do you know the Pocha’s from Saskatoon? The Merasty’s from La Ronge? The Ahenakew’s? The Bear’s?
:o Well, I do live in the city with the highest Aboriginal population rate (29%), so I can crack bad jokes.
The Ex-Lax would be a no no, but “promoting” their one-star hotness to five-star might have been OK.