I’m on the east coast visiting the in-laws which is always SUCH a treat. Part of the fun is my brother-in-law who is in his mid-40’s and still lives with his parents. He runs a business (sort of) out of their basement but he’s never grasped the difference between gross and net so it’s not really a viable concern. His parents pay all his expenses and he blows whatever random money he earns on slot machines and bad sushi.
Now I really wouldn’t give a crap about how this guy is wasting his life if he could just manage to be entertaining about it. You’d think a wastrel youngest son would at least be fun at parties. But my BiL is a bore and a blowhard. His conversation consists entirely of complaints about his girlfriend, overly-detailed descriptions of his various medical conditions, and bragging asides about what a savvy “player” he is.
You know what he’s most proud of? His “high roller” status at several different casinos. He loves to ramble on and on about the luxury suites he gets to stay in for free, all the gourmet meals he gets comped, and all the free chips they advance him. He’s got a “system” for winning at slots and supposedly he’s pulling down 5 digits a year from being a semi-pro gambler.
Don’t you know what “high roller” is a synonym for?
The casinos aren’t giving you free room and board because they like you. They’re doing it because they know that you’re going to drop so much money every time you walk through their doors that they’re guaranteed to turn a profit no matter what their overhead. You’re a sheep ready to be fleeced, my friend – the only question is who gets to shear you this week.
And you have a SYSTEM? With slots!? That’s just pathetic. I don’t gamble and even I know that the slots have some of the worst odds in the room. And you actually think you can manipulate what symbols come up by cleverly timing your button presses!? That’s not a system, that’s delusional.
You know what happens to guys who really have systems? The hard-core card-counters with the microchips in the heels of their shoes? The casinos BAN them. Two big burly guys named Vinnie grab them by the arms, drag them out into the alley, and throw them in the dumpster with the leftover sushi. They don’t get free rooms and they don’t get free food. That’s reserved for the suckers, the marks, the guys who pay the way for the rest of us.
Oh, BTW, you don’t know shit about grilling hamburgers either. We were all just humoring you.