So, basically, you're proud of being a sucker?

The BBQ Pit
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I’m on the east coast visiting the in-laws which is always SUCH a treat. Part of the fun is my brother-in-law who is in his mid-40’s and still lives with his parents. He runs a business (sort of) out of their basement but he’s never grasped the difference between gross and net so it’s not really a viable concern. His parents pay all his expenses and he blows whatever random money he earns on slot machines and bad sushi.

Now I really wouldn’t give a crap about how this guy is wasting his life if he could just manage to be entertaining about it. You’d think a wastrel youngest son would at least be fun at parties. But my BiL is a bore and a blowhard. His conversation consists entirely of complaints about his girlfriend, overly-detailed descriptions of his various medical conditions, and bragging asides about what a savvy “player” he is.

You know what he’s most proud of? His “high roller” status at several different casinos. He loves to ramble on and on about the luxury suites he gets to stay in for free, all the gourmet meals he gets comped, and all the free chips they advance him. He’s got a “system” for winning at slots and supposedly he’s pulling down 5 digits a year from being a semi-pro gambler.

Dude.

Don’t you know what “high roller” is a synonym for?

“SUCKER”

The casinos aren’t giving you free room and board because they like you. They’re doing it because they know that you’re going to drop so much money every time you walk through their doors that they’re guaranteed to turn a profit no matter what their overhead. You’re a sheep ready to be fleeced, my friend – the only question is who gets to shear you this week.

And you have a SYSTEM? With slots!? That’s just pathetic. I don’t gamble and even I know that the slots have some of the worst odds in the room. And you actually think you can manipulate what symbols come up by cleverly timing your button presses!? That’s not a system, that’s delusional.

You know what happens to guys who really have systems? The hard-core card-counters with the microchips in the heels of their shoes? The casinos BAN them. Two big burly guys named Vinnie grab them by the arms, drag them out into the alley, and throw them in the dumpster with the leftover sushi. They don’t get free rooms and they don’t get free food. That’s reserved for the suckers, the marks, the guys who pay the way for the rest of us.

Putz.

Oh, BTW, you don’t know shit about grilling hamburgers either. We were all just humoring you.

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Now you’ve hurt my feelings :frowning:

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That whole post was just made better by the hamburger line at the end…

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I have a system on slots. It works pretty well. When a machine is going well and you are having fun on it keep working that machine. After you have doubled your money pocket the original amount so that you don’t lose money, play with your winnings. Establish an amount you are willing to lose before switching machines. Establish an end point, like ‘I will play to 100 dollars then go play blackjack’. What you have to avoid is the zone eye that mezmerizes you and turns you into a crackhead who starts moving in Pavlovian motion. Try and get more drinks than you spend in money. When it stops being fun go hit the cheap buffet.

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He’s a semi-pro slots playah???

That is where the big money and best odds are… :dubious:

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I have a good friend who regularly gambles at Foxwoods and always sticks to the slots. He plays until he gets a bonus round and then quits. He regularly pockets about 15-50$ from his trips. Hey, it’s not big money, but it’s a system that seems to be going for him. On one trip, a girlfriend at the time tried it and had similar results. Of course, whenever I try this method, I end up losing 15-50$, so I’m guessing it has more to do with Lady Luck than Grandpa Wisdom.

I too think that the idea of ‘semi-pro slot playing’ and a 5-figure income add up to idiocy, but I felt like throwing my anecdote into the mix.

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It has more to do with faulty memory. There is NO system for slots that tips the odds in your favor. Your friend may be regularly pocketing $15-$50, but he’s losing more than that even more regularly.

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There is no system for “beating” computerized slot machines. I know this for a fact, because I own a few I’ve bought at auction, and know how to programme and set the odds.

A very few gamblers get lucky. The vast majority of them fund the construction and maintenance of huge glamorous casinos.

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I’ve noticed that acquaintances who like to tell you all about their winnings and their frequent trips to the casino are pretty much mum about the losses they incur on a regular basis.
The only people who are winners at casinos are those that go once, get lucky, win some money, leave, and never go back.
The more you become a “regular” the more your going to lose it all to the casino.

That’s why the big jackpot winners are suddenly given a free nights stay. It’s not because they like you. It’s because they don’t want you leaving with that jackpot money. They want you to use your jackpot money and gamble more in their establishment so they can get some of it back.

The only difference between a regular player and a “high roller” is that high rollers lose more quicker. And casinos loooooove that.

Oh, and those so called “loose slots”, the ones with 96% payback. Sounds great right? 96%. That’s damn close to 100%.
So give me your $100. I’ll give you back $96. Whee, that was fun. Let’s do it again. Give me your $96. I’ll give you back $92. Whee!
We can do this all day if you like?

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I worked on casino software for a while. Trust me, there’s absolutely no way that a slot machine could pay out more than it takes in on a regular basis without it being noticed and whisked off the floor.

And the OP is totally correct on the “high rollers.” You know that little “customer card” they give you at Casinos? The minute you swipe that thing a little buzzer goes off that tells the floor manager to go comp you drinks if you are someone who spends (loses) a bunch of money at the Casino.

Casinos are truly, truly evil.

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“After you have doubled your money, pocket the original amount”.

Wow, what a concept.

Actually, instead of pocketing the original amount. . .why not just double your money again? I mean, of course only when “the machine is going well”.

So, he always reports to you that he won, but you tried his “system” and lost?

Hmmmm. . .whatever could be the weak link in this chain of information.

People – there is no “system” for any casino game except for blackjack. There is no way of doubling your bets, walking away, halving your bets, scaling your bets, that makes sense on any game where the odds are against you. Trust me, and every other mathematician in the world, on this.

Blackjack, in certain circumstances, you can beat.

Poker, since it is played against other gamblers, can be beat.

Sports betting can be beat, with difficulty.

Nothing else, no matter what you do, can be beat. Not craps, not roulette, not slots, not pai gow, not video poker, nothing.

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And most casinos around here have removed their blackjack machines…if you want to play, you have to play at the table so you have to pay more.

I will play video poker. I know I’m still going to lose money but at least it’s more fun than hitting that stupid button on the slots over and over and over and over again. This is what my aunts do; they love gambling, I go along for the ride. Poker at least engages the brain a tiny bit.

Or, if I have to play slots, I always play the ones that have dancing mechanical pigs or something. I’m there for entertainment, aren’t I?

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Actually … pick a slot that someone else just gave up on.
The reason that this mostly works is that that someone has poured all his money into the slot and the payout tally is ripe for a payout.

Personal story: Just put a slot machine into a rural location when someone hit the jackpot within a week. Calmed down the location owner by mentioning that all the money he payed out would be back, soon.

I have it on good authority, my grandmother, that it only pays to play the dollar slots. She regularly took bus trips from Sacramento to Reno. The gave $10 in house chips, a ticket to the $10 buffet and the bus fare was $12 so she couldn’t refuse someone paying her $8 to go.

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Casinos are not evil; they’re a lot of fun, if you have some self-control and aren’t stupid. (Granted, those are big “ifs” for some).

I love to go to the casinos when I’m in Vegas. I have a set budget for gambling money, and I consider it fun money, money I’ve already “spent,” money that’s as gone as if I’d set fire to it. What I am buying – and I am fully aware of this – is the entertainment value of gambling. I am not buying a chance to get more money than I started with, because chances are that I won’t. I stop when I’ve lost my nut, my gambling money. If I win, fabulous! If I lose, fine.

But I don’t want to lose my money fast, so I don’t play money-sucking 100% shitty-odds games like, oh, slots. I play Black Jack and Craps, where the odds are as good as they’ll ever get in a casino. (Still to the House, of course, but a hell of a lot better than slots.) And I don’t like losing my money in a way I have no control over (no ability to decide where, when and how to bet based on information given to me) so, again, I don’t play slots. I think they’re boring as fuck, but that’s just me.

My dad gets comp’ed rooms in Vegas casinos with some frequency. He’s not the wealthiest guy in the place, not a “whale” by any definition, but he can afford to play for pretty decent money, and so he does. Sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses, but he only ever plays what he can afford. The casinos love him because he’s at a table, with hundred dollar bills, not feeding nickels into a slot machine. Why the hell shouldn’t they give him a free room? Why shouldn’t he take it? At what point does he become a sucker?

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No offense to your dear gran, but this is the sort of thinking casinos love. A ten dollar house chip and a ticket to the buffet != $ 20, but if they can offer those up and have someone decide they are paying her to come, they’re clearly doing something right.

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So he makes $10 grand a year from slots?

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The point at which he starts believing that he’s a high roller because he’s good at winning, rather than because he spends money. By the sounds of it, your dad doesn’t believe that. If you do it for the enjoyment and are aware that you are spending money for said fun, you’re not a sucker.

On the other hand, if you believe that you’re somehow winning on a systematic basis, and that the comped rooms are proof, that’s stupid. And that’s what was described in the OP.

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I wanna know what his basement business is, so we can rip on that for a while too.

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I object. You owe me sixteen cents.

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The point at which he goes around boasting to everyone else what a great winner he is. Wait, your dad doesn’t do that, the OP’s person does.
I don’t think your dad is a sucker. I don’t think my aunts are suckers. They may spend a great deal and think they mostly win, but they don’t boast about it and they have a great time. What else matters?