So... how do I get more work as a movie critic?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Ok, I’d like your comments and thoughts on this. Excuse the long lead-in.

I live in The Netherlands and I am at present self-employed. Not very successfully, I hasten to add: I also have a part-time job (approximately 2.5 days per week but it varies) operating bridges. (I think in English you’d call that a bridge guard or something, but let’s not dwell on it. Suffice to say it isn’t considered a very difficult job and although I don’t mind doing it, I could certainly do without it. It doesn’'t pay very well but the hours are very flexible.)

What I’m doing right now is trying to find MORE work as a freelance movie critic. I’ve been doing that for about six years, usually in combination with other jobs, and I’ve recently written my 500th movie review. I do other things as a freelancer (fixing and maintaining computers, mainly), but actually I was trying to get out of that business. That’s why I quit my IT-job 3 years ago.

I’m working on (and think I have found) a personal style, based on the idea that all the other critics are pretentious twats and that my reviews should also be entertaining for those who have no interest in or time for actually going to the cinema, or even renting movies. So you’d think that these reviews would be excellent filler-material for virtually any publication, wouldn’t you? You can read it for the movie review or just for the jokes!

Currently, my only movie-related ‘gig’ is with a regional radio station where I have two weekly spots. On Monday I talk about the Internet, on Thursday it’s about movies. I’ve been doing it for three years and God help me if they should ever fire me because that station provides about 80% of my annual turnover. Still, they seem to like me and because I try to be funny at least it makes for interesting radio. (I’d give you a link but it’s all in Dutch.)

**So here comes the problem… **

I find I am having the greatest difficulty finding new clients. Sometimes I get up the courage to write a letter or an email to a publication (say, a newspaper) and the usual procedure is that I don’t get a reply, I send another letter and six months later I get an email apologising for the delay and no thanks we’re already buying our movie-info from some wire-service or something like that. I then go into a three-week depression that drives my girlfriend nuts. Six months later, I gather enough courage to approach another magazine or radio station and the cycle repeats.

I suppose I should be networking, but the thing is: I’m not very good at it and I don’t know too many people in the business. Other moviecrititics are my competitors, not my friends. The people I do know sometimes give me a lead, but it usually leads to nothing (except for the radio-gig, which pays quite well and actually has some status - it’s just that I could really use 3 or 4 more jobs like that to truly get things up and running.)

I’ve got a website with 500+ reviews, but I only get 80-100 visitors per day (most of them from Google) and the audio clips from my shows only get about 5 listeners per day. So there is no way I could be making money there.

Oh, just FYI - I’d also like to be a radio presenter or newsreader but the same applies: you just don’t get those jobs by writing letters, even though I have experience and can prove it.

I suppose there are a few things I could do:

  • Increase the number of letters I send out. Send one out every week, to any magazine or radio station I can find. Maybe it’s just a matter of playing the numbers. But I’ve written enough of them to be weary of this tactic.

  • Start somewhere as an intern, so I’d get to know more people and get into a social network. However, I’m 31 and at this point in my life I really don’t see myself as an intern. I think I can safely say I know enough about both writing and making radio to see myself as a professional at both. I’ve been getting paid to do both for many years, just not full-time.

  • **Give it up. ** But I do love it, it already provides about 60% of my annual income. Plus, I really hate the kind of jobs I trained for. (I did Communications, so I suppose I could be a spokesperson or some kind of PR-exec. Bleh.)

So…

Any inspiration stories, tips, comments, whatever from you guys and gals out there. Should I be sending out free pens with my letters, or put an advert in the national papers? (Critic for hire!) Should I be like every other critic in the world, ie not funny and absolutely in love with anything that ISN’T Hollywood? Or should I just be happy I’m at least party ‘living my dream’. Or do all good things come to those who wait?

2

Refuse to let anyone cross the bridge unless they read one of your reviews?

I dunno.

3

One thing is for sure you are unlikely to get anything by sending out a letter every 6 months. One a week seems pretty lackadaisical, but it beats what you’re doing now.

Do you send out several of your reviews with your resume? Are they all in dutch? Have you ever talked to the station you work for about syndication? (on that I don’t know beans about what I just said). All I can tell you is don’t give it up, if that is what you love. Keep plugging and don’t wait so long about sending out resumes. If you can afford to go to Cannes, review everything and send out a bunch of apps to even the one’s you’ve already been rejected by. Is there anything closer to home than Cannes?

Good luck. :smiley:

4

Actually, I kinda like that idea. But what would I do if King Arthur came along and chopped off my arms and legs?

I’ve been thinking… Maybe I could take a petting zoo hostage? Well, not really hostage but refuse to let thekiddies pet the rabbits and goats until I get a decent offer. Something like that.

5

I, personally, like the petting zoo hostage thing best, but barring that, maybe you could contact some reviewers in other countries for advice. They’re less likely to be direct competitors. In my line of reviewing work, reviewers aren’t in much real competition with each other so it’s no big deal making friends with them. You might also work on your query letters. Maybe they aren’t as exciting or interesting as you think.

6

You have to find every news outlet you can find and hit them.

For instance, there might be a small local newspaper that has nothing but adverts for supermarkets…they might be interested in running your column (for cheap).
Same thing for company newsletters and newsletters from local pubs and cafes. Also, publish your reviews yourself on a single sheet and start passing them around at cafes and bars. Eventually, you will get a name for yourself and once you have a name, fame and fortune is around the corner…hell, even Paris Hilton has a “name” and her talents are, well, elusive to say the least. BTW, did you review her film, “One Night In Paris”?

And for somebody in the entertainment industry, you seem to have pretty thin skin. If most actors and actresses had a dollar for every failed/unsuccessful audition, they could buy a Mercedes. Get over the frear of rejection. The law of averages favor the person who knocks on the most doors. At your rate of two doors a year, that means you should hit paydirt in about 1,237 years at best. Get thee off thy behind and go for it!

7

In all seriousness, are there other things you might like to write about? You mentioned an interest in tech … or maybe you could even try your hand at straight news? I have worked for small newspapers, and small newspapers are always looking for reporters. They’re not going to just hand a cushy gig like movie-reviewing to some guy who walks in off the street. But if you establish yourself as a tech columnist or a reporter or whatever, then one day mention to the editor, “Hey, would you mind if I did some movie reviews?” – that would be a more likely path to success.