My folks kept getting calls in the middle of the night, from a guy looking for “Clara” No matter how many times they explained this was a wrong number, and stop waking us up, the calls kept coming.
Finally my dad answered “She got tired of waiting and went out with Joe”. And the calls stopped. Hmm, strange.
I got my cell phone number two years ago and still get collections calls for the former users of it. Edward and Ruth Wachenfeld, you are a couple of deadbeats.
I even did the outgoing message saying “This is not Edward or Ruth Wachenfeld. If you are trying to reach Edward or Ruth Wachenfeld, this is not their number. PLEASE HANG UP. If this is a call for Gwendolen, leave a message.” Didn’t help much.
My home number was one digit off a company’s phone number, and I used to get a lot of their calls. So I just changed my outgoing message to something like this:
“You’ve reached 555-1234, and this is Spoons. If you’re trying to reach ABC Corporation, you can call them at 555-2234. But if you’d like to speak with Spoons, who does not work at or for ABC Corporation, leave a message.”
It worked pretty well.
I wonder how many times people look up a place like a strip club and then purposefully dial an almost the same number to see the reaction of the called person.
Yep, I have done that.
Part of my job is tech support. Some country club listed my number on their website, and I got five or six calls a week trying to reserve a banquet room. And they would always apologize, hang up, and then look up the number on the website again. And then call me again. I finally wrote the real number down and gave it to people to save call backs.
But it was always the same - ring ring…
“CompanyName Tech Support, this is Shodan, can I help you?”
“Yes, I would like to reserve your banquet room for my daughter’s wedding. What are your rates?”
heavy sigh "No, we get their calls all the time. The website is wrong. The real number is 555-555-5555.’
“Well, if the website is wrong, you should fix it!”
“Yes, ma’am, I’ll get right on it. My best to your daughter.”
Regards,
Shodan
“Empire Records, open til midnight, this is Mark.
…
Midnight.”
First let me say that I do this pretty regularly. When someone answers the phone it takes me a beat or two of hearing them speak before I’m able to start reprocessing their voice into a meaningful information stream. So I usually hear something like “Ggorzonblatz mtxspjk yroand. Datdhdk jkeaking how may I help you?”
That said, I once got a wrong number calling me.
“Hello?”
“Could I speak to Dana?”
“There’s no Dana here.”
“Yeah, right. Put her on.”
OK - if you’re going to get cranky about it…
“There is no Dana - only Zool.”
“<expletive> put her on now!”
“There is no Dana - only Zool.”
A pause occurred, then a click. I hung up and went back to being impressed by my own awesomeness. I was interrupted seconds later by the phone ringing again. THis time I went on the front foot.
<Putting on best satanic growl> “THERE IS NO DANA. ONLY ZOOL.”
They hung up without a word.
I bow before your wit! I can think of things like that too…about an hour later. Never when I need them.
My bookstore got a phone number that used to belong to a Chevy dealership. I would frequently have conversations like this:
Me: [full name of store, which includes the word “books”]
Caller: Hi, may I have the parts department?
Me: This is [full name of store again], we don’t have a parts department.
Caller: This isn’t [name of Chevy dealer]?
Me: No, it’s a bookstore.
Caller: Could you just transfer me to the parts department, then?
Me: No, you’ll have to call the Chevy dealer to reach the parts department.
Caller: What’s that number?
After a few months, I looked up their new number and posted it on the phone so we could give it to people and get rid of them.
When it still didn’t stop, I just switched a couple of lines around (this wasn’t my main number) and used it as an incoming fax line. I figured people would hear the fax squeal and leave me alone. Know what they did? Anyone have a guess? Buehler?
Yep. People started sending me faxes intended for the Chevy dealership.
Careful. This can bite you in the butt. My wife and I had a home-based business, and I answered the phone with the business name. Then one day the phone company called. I answered as usual, they repeated back the business name and asked if that was correct. I said yes. They said I was using my home phone for business in violation of phone company policy and cut off my service.
I don’t know how you do it. This would drive me to tears. I have one woman who used to call my (unlisted) mobile number all the time. At first I was polite, but after 5-6 times, occasionally in a row, I got bitchy. Now I’ve got her number in my phone as ‘[Expletive]’ so I know not to pick up.
Actually, one of our phone numbers is one digit off from and IRS help line. Lots of people here have the correct IRS phone number handy.
I live alone. When I answer my cell phone I always say “This is Chacoguy.”
“Is Julie there?”
I’ve never done this but always wanted to say “Yes, She’s here”
“Well, can I talk to her?”
“She can’t talk right now; she’s got my dick in her mouth.”
I reckon they’d figure out the right number pretty quick.
Pretty harsh for a simple wrong number, Chaco.
Unless, of course, they kept on pushing after you told them they had the wrong number…
It’s just a bad joke; as I said in my post, I’ve never done it.
When I was in college, I knew a guy whose dorm number had the same last four digits as the local pizza place. If you were dialing another number on campus at the time you could skip the first three numbers, so people would forget to dial the full seven-digit number whenever they called off campus. It got to the point that he would take people’s orders and then hang up and go on doing whatever he was doing when they called.
God you would have gotten evil points for that one.
Declan
I always wanted to do that, but never did. Good on him. 
Before the big consolidation at work, which resulted in new phone numbers for everyone, I had been getting the occasional call for a completely different division. It got to the point that I included the other division’s number in my outgoing voice mail message. I eventually found out, through one of the callers, that there was a misprint in one of our directories; somehow the “7” in that division’s general information number became a “9”, the number for my direct line.
My mother had a phone number for over ten years when a local restaurant got a number one off from hers. Yup, constant calls for the restaurant. She didn’t feel she should change her number so she tried the “go away, wrong number” tactic and gave the right number for a while but it just didn’t improve, so she asked the restaurant to change their number and they refused. So after that, she’d go ahead and take reservations, then go about her business. Eventually the restaurant changed their number…
That is funny. I’d like to think I’d do the same thing but, more likely I’d just curse 'em out for bothering me.:smack: