So I guess I failed the CPR test. And it hurts.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So its a beautiful day, I took a vacation day to spend with the longdistancebootycall, and I was enjoying what buzz was left of a joint of my homegrown Northern Lights, looking for agates by the creek.

I then there is some screaming from up by the house, and I ignored it until I heard “Heartattack” and “CPR”.

So now I’m running flat-out, 150 yards uphill, and there is dude, flat on his back in a brushpile, eyes rolled back, and he’s making a grugling noise.

And I can’t lift him. He’s got me by a good 100 lbs. One of the girls helps me drag him by the arm to a flat spot. But it’s only hilllside terrain, and all muddy.

His eyes are rolled back, I can’t get a pulse because I am shaking so badly, I try neck, wrist inside arm and armpit. I can’t find one. He 's “contorting” so I wonder if it couldn’t be some sort of siezure. But he ain’t breathing.

So I give him two quick blasts of air, and it seems to come back out, so I think at first the airway was good. I start compressions, and on the thrid, I feel his cavity give way. So now I am afraid of perforations of his heart by rib bones.

So it’s just me doing the CPR. And I think after the 3 rep of 2/12’s He seemed to lurch and contort again, so I stop and slap him and tell him to wake up. Then his body got so tense. It was like every muscle went “on” all at once, hard as a rock. Then he went jelly.

I again start on 2/12’s, but now I could’nt get a clear airway, and I notice gastric destention, while I am working. Then he starts belching bile, so I quick roll him on his side, and press firmly on his stomach to expell as much air as I can.

I roll him back over, clear the ariway as best I could, and start 2/12’s again. Now it’s gotta be into 13 minutes, and I am starting to get tired, but I know I can’t give up. Bile is in my mouth, up my nose, my glasses are missing, I’m in a complete lather, exhausted, and trying not to cry. I keep banging our teeth together when I go to give a breath.

EMS gets there, they take over CPR, zap him a few times, I help load him on the cart and push it uphill through the mud.

I tried.
I tried so goddam hard.

His name was Jerry or Gerry. I never met him. He died in my arms yesterday.
I feel so fucking horrible.

2

There isn’t anything anyone’s going to say that can make you feel better, but it may be worth noting that CPR is rarely successful, as in, about 5 or 10% of the time. You didn’t fail. You succeeded in trying your best, in a situation where most people might give up. Good for you for trying, man.

3

It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there. It sounds like you did everything you could. Good on you! And it sounds like there was a lot more going on with him than just a straight heart attack.

4

That’s what they tell you when you get your CPR training. They will probably not come back for you. On TV they make it look so easy, but the reality is that very, very few people survive.

Kapowzler you’re still a hero for busting your ass and doing your best. The odds were against you, but consider that his chance of survival was 0% until you got there.

5

You did a good thing. And the fact is that CPR is not very likely to work. Of course you feel terrible because he died, but you should not feel guilty.

6

I’m so sorry. Just know it wasn’t your fault.

7

CPR fails most of the time - in a hospital, where you’ve got everything you need right at your fingertips. CPR in the field is such a long shot that as a trained (former) professional my first decision would be whether I was even going to bother. And hell, I’m good at it. The main point would be how soon is help going to get there. So you went above and beyond the call of duty. He did not die because you failed at CPR, he died because nothing could be done to save him. Have some tea and think of something nice.

8

As the others said, most people who are sick enough to need CPR are sick enough they don’t have a very good chance of survival even under the best of circumstances. Even in hospitals, most people who go into cardiac arrest, even if they are resuscitated, won’t make it out of the hospital alive. There are rare cases where people do pull through, so CPR is still worth trying, but it’s not your fault that in this case the odds were not in your favor. At least you did what you could to try to give him a chance.
Other general comments about CPR:
Good CPR is supposed to break ribs. One of the things that most people do wrong in CPR is not pushing hard enough. And if someone is that sick, a few broken ribs are the least of their problems.
The current AHA guidelines emphasize good quality chest compressions over all else, even rescue breaths. It’s really hard to be successful at CPR if it’s just one person doing it because it is so exhausting that people generally can’t physically push hard enough after a few minutes. If there is anyone else around to help it’s best to switch off every 2 minutes (whether you feel tired or not) so the victim is getting good quality compressions. But of course in a situation where you’re the only person who can help, you do the best you can. If I were a family member of this guy I would be grateful that someone tried to help him instead of just standing around doing nothing even though it didn’t work out.

9

Thank you for what you did. We learned in an earlier thread that once electrical activity in the the heart has truly stopped, even defibrillation can’t restart it, let alone CPR. You gave him a chance, but he was too far gone to make use of it. His family will be comforted to know that everything humanly possible was tried.

10

{Pats Kapowzler on the back} You gave it your best shot. Most of us (me included) would probably just have been standing there, wringing our hands and wondering what the hell to do.

11

30 years ago I gave CPR to a guy who didn’t make it. (His family was driving him to the hospital and when he lost consciousness they pulled over and started knocking on doors.) I’m pretty sure he was already dead by the time they knocked on our door. I was the only one out of a crowd of a dozen or so who knew CPR. And I definitely broke his ribs.

Don’t beat yourself up. Saving him was a long shot.

12

You tried as best as you could. Depending on the Type of Arrest, some rates are less favorable than others.

13

You done good. Take care of yourself.

14

What you did was pretty heroic. I’m sorry he didn’t make it, but definitely not your fault.

15

Kapowz, I’ve performed CPR 15 times in the last 5 years, and I count only one as a success, and that one was marginal. He chemically coded 3 times in the ambulance while we worked on him, and the medevac paramedics administered drugs I could not as an EMT-I that kept him going. He’s a success for me because he was still alive when he left our ambulance, but flatlined about 2 minutes after the helicopter took off.

If you’re in the business, people dying on you will happen. We expect it, and somewhat get used to it. For a member of the public, it’ll be tough to get through.

Maybe you should call the department that took him, and see if you can get in to see their Critical Stress Debrief people. I’ve had to do that twice myself, and it does help.

16

Actually, I think you passed the CPR test with flying colours. You dived in there, did your best and kept doing it till the paramedics arrived. There are a lot of people who wouldn’t have done that.

You may not have changed the outcome for this guy, but you made a difference to the family members and friends who won’t have to spend the rest of their lives wondering, ‘What if someone who knew CPR had been there?’

17

You done good Kapowz. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

18

Oh, I forgot to say this: If you don’t break ribs doing CPR, you ain’t doing it right.

19

You did good. That was the most anyone could have done, even an MD under the same circumstance. It’s not like physicians walk around with a bag full of CPR equipment on their shoulder at all times.

Still a heroic deed and shit, yo.

20

You didn’t fail. Failing would have been doing nothing, and you went way beyond that.