“It’s not contagious, I tell you!”, squeegee ejaculated.
After the Cancer Incident in my own household last year I can believe it. It’s not just girl/boyfriends - the spouse’s oncologist’s office had adult protective services on their phone list because, apparently, they had had patients abandoned by entire families. People undergoing chemo who were never picked up, whose “loved ones” never returned for them after the treatment.
I get it - it’s scary and exhausting and all sorts of bad. I just can’t understand on a gut level abandoning someone like that. Yet people do.
If somebody approaches a relationship as just a transaction, it makes a selfish sort of sense to scram at any major trouble.
There’s a big difference between “I love you for being you” and “I say ‘I love you’ but I actually only love what you do for me.”
As any number of threads on dating, marriage, harassment, divorce and all the rest show, one heck of a lot of people think in terms of the latter. We’ve got 4 active threads right now swirling around this point in various ways.
This doesn’t excuse the reality, but it does illuminate it.
I was diagnosed four years ago with about the same parameters as the OP. Elected radiation treatment and so far so good. PSA is not zero but is low and has been declining at each checkup. ED was the main side effect; annoying but I can certainly live with it. No major incontinence problems, but now when I’ve got to go, I’ve got to go immediately. By way of contrast, younger brother had same condition and elected surgery; had a lengthy recovery time and was totally incontinent for about three years afterward.
Good to hear of a good outcome starting from from a late counterattack. Congrats and best of luck for the future.
At the risk of TMI, do you mean “annoying” as in “Not as good as it used to be but Viagra mostly fixes that” or annoying as in “It flat don’t work, but I’m old enough that doesn’t much matter.”
Or as in “MYOB you nosy jerk!” 
I ask because while I don’t have an immediate problem this is probably in my future before age 70.
I was about to say it’s good that it’s very curable and that a longer life might be more important than sex. But damn, sucks about your GF! That’s damn cold. :mad:
I hope things work out and that you retain your potency and continence, fingers crossed.
Of course I’m wondering the same thing if El_Kabong feels like sharing.
Hi Squeegee,
I’m 64 now, I was 59 when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I was given all the choices and I chose surgery. I have the type of personality that said if I had cancer cut it out NOW. The doctor was trained in the use of The DaVinci Machine. It’s a robotic surgical system. My second opinion doctor was a personal friend. He said that was the best choice for me and the doctor that was going to do the operation was the best in the country.
I was worried about not being able to have sexual relations with my wife anymore and leaking urine all the time. The doctor said those were the two most asked questions he got from his patients. He told me with the DaVinci Machine the odds were REALLY on my side that I could still have sexual relations. He told me I would have to wear a pad for urine leakage for a while but it WOULD get better. He was right on both counts.I did leak urine after the operation. Whenever I would laugh or have a sudden movement to the left or right or bend down in the garden I would leak. I wore the pad for 10 months. I could have stopped wearing it after 9 months but I was worried so 10 months it was.
I had the operation at 7am on one day, stayed the night in the hospital for one night and then went home. I had a catheter for 8 days and was off of work for 6 weeks. I couldn’t lift anything more than 5 pounds for the six weeks. He said I could walk 100 miles a day if I wanted to but no lifting. When I went back to work I could lift any amount of weight with no problem, I do lift weights at the YMCA for exercise.
I do take Viagra now. It’s not like I’m 18 years old anymore but I’m not dead either.
I suppose I’m a bit inured to it. I lost nearly all my friends in my 2014 divorce. I had a woman text me a break-up the day my father died. There’s only so much outrage to be had before you just keep looking forward.
Just a note to say hang in there. The older I get, the more I expect something like this to happen to me.
Ouch!! Sorry to hear you’ve been through that many wringers.
There’s an administrator at the oncology practice I frequent. A hand-made sign in her office says “Don’t look back. That’s not where you’re going.”
There are times and situations to scan the whole horizon. And times to fix your gaze dead ahead and trudge dutifully forward ignoring the explosions on all sides. Part of surviving is knowing when to do which.
Thanks for the good outcome tale, and lots of details on how it went, Nightfall1! If you have a doctor’s name or other contact info you are comfortable sharing, please PM me. If they are not in my area or network, good doctors also know other good doctors in their specialty. Thanks in advance!!
Google Dr. Michael Fumo MD Urologist Rockford Illinois
Regarding Nightfall1 (he’s already been quoted once, no need to take up more space), add a few years to the age and you’ve pretty much got me. I forget what the Gleason score was — it was nine years ago — but I do recall the urologist telling me that based on a post-op biopsy of the tumor it definitely would have killed me. The first outward symptom would have been intense and intractable lower back pain, and it would have been downhill from there. So despite the (mostly-true) adage that men die with prostate cancer rather than from it, it ain’t necessarily so.
Immediate post-op was almost identical. Only memorable incident was my first night home: the adhesive clamp that was supposed to keep the catheter tube attached to my leg came loose, so when the bag fell off the bed it jerked … everything … off to the side. If I never again wake to that sensation it will be fine with me.
Long term isn’t quite so positive, but bear in mind that a) I’m older, and b) I’ve been significantly overweight most of my life. I’m aware that there are multiple approaches to ED, but my life situation is such that I don’t see any point in availing myself of them; and as far as incontinence goes, 99.5% of the time there isn’t an issue at all — but like El_Kabong, when I gotta go, I gotta go now (or very soon), and sometimes I’m not in a position to. So I wear a pad that most days I throw away unused.
Sorry about the ramble, but I figure that if nothing else, hearing multiple (non-horror) stories may help turn your situation from a bogeyman to something that can be approached with a clear mind. So hang in there: we’ve beaten this, you will too.
No worries. “Not as good as it used to be” pretty much nails it. Specifically, seemingly no, er, reaction to stimulus for quite some time until all of a sudden, in like 30 seconds…
Haven’t ever tried Viagra.
Dude. It’s the bomb. Trust me on this. Depends on the day, but it can be like being 20 again.
Thanks much for clarifying!!!
Really, Broomstick? Really?
Sorry about you’re ex girlfriend, but you’re right, she does deserve to be happy. This is a very honorable, charitable and mature approach you’re taking though, and it’s really admirable: I hope that I’d be equally kind to my ex if I was in your situation.
I’m been looking up a bit about prostate health issues (I don’t have cancer, but I do currently have some persistent inflammation issues which are really miserable to deal with). It sounds like the modern they have of dealing with prostate issues (infections, non-infectious inflammation, enlargement and cancer) are all much more advanced than what they had a couple decades ago. There are methods which shouldn’t interfere with urination, erection or orgasm, at least in the long term. Fingers crossed, of course.
Best of luck with your situation, thoughts and prayers with you.
Ok, since everybody else is ignoring the obvious, I’ll step up.
{{{ squeegee }}} with two firm manly claps on the back.
You’ve certainly earned your hugs. And I say that as a manly-man, not a girly-man, as Aahnold once explained it to us all. 
This isn’t easy. It’s harder by yourself. Ultimately, each of us is the only inhabitant of our body and there’s no fixing that. Wherever it takes us, that’s where we go. But none of us are alone. Hugs.
Watch out with those hugs. He is primed with Viagra, ya know. :eek: