Ex, I’m sorry you had to witness that. It’s amazing what our minds can do when we see something horrific. Most of us do go on autopilot and I believe that is what happened to you too.
I’ve known people that have decided that suicide was the end-all, be-all solution. I don’t understand it at all. Two shot themselves and one jumped off the Narrows Bridge in Tacoma. The devastation they leave behind is just overwhelming in terms of what their family and friends feel.
I’m guessing you’re following this, because although you didn’t know the person, you witnessed his last living act, and you need closure. 'Course, I’m not a doctor or anything; it just makes sense to me.