Oh, yes…
[spoiler]Bella ends up being teh best vamp evah!!! because she’s able to control herself way beyond what is expected of a newborn vamp; she and Edward go hunting, and she actually turns away from some hikers in the woods PLUS wants to screw the hell out of Edward despite the fact that she should be OTT hungry. Of course, Bella’s wearing a skin-tight skin dress and stiletto heels the whole time. She’s more agile than Edward (tho they concede he’s faster), and physically stronger than… uhhh… what’s the super-strong guy’s name? Emmett? That guy. She utterly flips out when she finds out that Jacob imprinted on Nessie (though I think part of that is the uber-awful nickname) and tries to kill him, but Seth steps in (getting some bones broken for his trouble) and he and Edward stop her. The other pack of werewolves back off the ‘kill the baby and the Cullens’ thing 'cause you can’t kill someone that a werewolf is imprinted on (really??)
Nessie (the baby) grows at a ridiculous rate, and her power is to communicate her thoughts by touching people. She’s only slightly sparkly, and her bite doesn’t have the venom in it (they figured this outcause she tends to bite when she’s not fed on time), and apparently that makes her different from the other child vamps that have been hunted down and killed before (they were more like Claudia from Rice’s books). Charlie’s brought in on the secret when Jacob fur-splodes in front of him (he’s not allowed to TELL Charlie, but he can SHOW him), but I don’t think Mom is ever called.
Alice and Jasper leave 'cause the Big Bad Vamp council is coming- they’ve been alerted by the girl vamp whose mom was dusted for having a half-vamp baby that there’s another abomination around. Alice leaves a note encouraging the Cullens to get everyone they can to meet Nessie in the meantime, and lots of nomad vamps are brought in to oooh and ahhhhhh over Bella’s creation. Then we find out Bella’s super-awesome-better-than-anyone power: her mind shield, the one she used against Edward from the beginning. Turns out it’s so super-awesome that she learns how to extend it around her, and Edward, and Nessie, and… well, everyone, actually. :rolleyes:
So Bella goes to some weird lawyer to get papers for her and Nessie and Edward and Jacob so they can skip the country, but she doesn’t tell Edward what she’s doing cause he doesn’t have her super-awesome mind shield powers. But the Big Bad Council shows up just as they’re about to leave, and there’s going to be a huge confrontation because remember how the nuimber of werewolves is tied to the number of vamps in town? Well, lots more of the townsfolk have fur-sploded in response to all the vamps that came to ooh and ahh, so now there’s going to be an epic Underworld-style battle. But at some point (can’t remember where it came up) we spend time finding out that the werewolves aren’t really werewolves, but shapeshifters, and they can’t make other werewolves by biting cause it’s genetic.
So the Big Bad Council read Nessie’s thoughts, and admit she’s not a child vamp, and the vamp that reported them admits that she made a mistake, and the Council gets pissed and tear the snitch apart in front of her “sisters” hoping that- okay, I have no idea where they were going with that. I think to get a fight started so they could kill everyone and make it look like self-defense. The Cullens send Jacob off with Nessie, and Bella gets mad and holds off multiple angry vamp attacks with her mind shield, and the BBC are arguing that even though Nessie is half human they don’t know what she’ll grow up into so she still needs killin’, then Alice shows up with the half-vamp half-brother of the chick they just tore to pieces, and they have to acknowledge that he’s just fine even though he was a child vamp at one time and they killed his mother for birthing an abomination, so everyone sorta slinks off.
The book ends with Bella dropping her mind shield for Edward so she can send him a pRon tape of their first night together as vamp and vampiress, and they make out and have dirty vamp sex. And they all live happily ever after.[/spoiler]
The term fursplode, BTW, should be fully credited to Cleolinda. I use it 'cause it’s AWESOME.