Ask the person who just read the Twilight series

Last week, I was given copies of the Twilight books. I just finished the last one today. It’s not my usual type of reading; the last three books that I read were by Henry James, Wally Lamb, and Jane Austen.

That said, I’ve done all the work for you. Now, you can find out all about this pop culture phenomenon actually without having to read the series for yourself.


How did you keep the oatmeal that used to be your brain from dribbling out your ears?

My sparkly vampire boyfriend used his supernatural powers to plug my ears.


Because they were free and I was curious. Don’t you want to know what all the pop culture references are about?

Did you perfer to hurl the books against the wall or throw them on the floor and jump on top of them when the plots got too sickenly sweet?

So… seriously, I’m a fan of young-adult fiction, and I like vampires. Regardless, I’ve stayed away from these because everyone says they’re so bad. I read Wally Lamb, Jane Austen, and… ugh, no I can’t say Henry James. I’ll give you that one and counter with Tolstoy and Ian McEwan.

So are they bad? Did you enjoy them that all? Are they good in a junk food/beach read kind of way or just all bad?

ZPG Zealot, it was easy to skim over those parts. Any paragraph that started with “His perfect face” wasn’t going to have any plot to it.

Athena, I don’t think they were *that *bad. They were certainly not good, though. In the past, I was unable to get through the first page of the first Harry Potter book, and I was able to finish this entire series.

There are two times that I like to read some fluff: when I am sick, and when I have just finished some Russian literature (if you like Tolstoy, I think you can see my point). I had a sinus infection when I read The DaVinci Code (which, BTW, the Twilight books were superior to). This series is perfectly fine for filling that particular niche.

That said, if I had a teenage daughter, I would want to have a discussion with her about relationships if she were to read these books. I wouldn’t say they were as misogynistic as people say, but there were certainly some interactions between the two main characters that would have sent up red flags in real life.

Hmm maybe I’ll look at them next time I want fluff. I made it through some of the Harry Potter books, but spent a good part of them whining at Mr. Athena about how bad they were.

I couldn’t read the DaVinci Code at all, but that was mostly because I don’t like the whole thriller/mystery/whatever you call it genre at all.

I nearly spit my drink all over my keyboard at this line. There’s nothing like good fluff to counter Tolstoy’s neverending war theory!

I use the fluff to counter the vortex of hopelessness that fills me when I read Russian lit. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to stop reading it, but I won’t do two back to back :slight_smile:

Heh. My fluff is British mysteries!

I’m impressed you managed all 4. I could only do one, and then I read a snarky synopsis of the 4th, which totally skeeved me out. Though I really want to know how they’re going to film it!

Have you seen the movies? Watch them with Rifftrax; that’s the only thing that makes them bearable.

I watched the first two, but don’t know if any additional ones have come out. The books made Bella and Edward seem a little less bland, IMHO. Not that they were deep characters, by any means, but they weren’t at the level of vapidity that movie-Bella and movie-Edward hit.

Book 4 is, indeed, creepy. And oddly long. Also, Bella names her daughter “Renesme”, then gets upset that everybody calls her “Ness” or “Nessie”.

Does Book 4 essentially betray it’s 13 year old audience by getting too “adult” and explicit for kids?

My school’s library won’t carry book 4 because it was rated too adult for 7th Graders.

Book 4 is too adult and explicit for ME and I’m 36. It’s not the sex–which apparently is more alluded to than described–but the whole pregnancy/birth thing. :eek:

If you want to know, read this and start at the section “Chapter 16.”

Renesme. Nessie. This just goes to prove my theory that the downside of having an unusual/exotic name is you get stuck with a lame nickname.

Book 4 is about Bella being pregnant with a vampire/human hybrid. The child, among other things, chews her way out of the womb. It’s not graphic so much as it is generally unsuitable for seventh graders.

It is also the most poorly written of the books. For the first time, there is a section that is not from Bella’s point of view (it’s from Jacob’s), and it’s pretty bad. I don’t know if that is because Stephanie Meyer can’t identify with the male character, or if she doesn’t know werewolves as well as humans.

Does a baby really chew its way out of the womb?

And if so, does Bella die from the gaping hole and the copius blood loss?

Does Bella dying redeem the series?

Bella gets turned into a vampire just in time to survive the blood loss. The baby also broke her rips, pelvis, and spine during pregnancy and labor.

Bella being turned into a vampire makes things less emo, which is generally a good thing. She starts acting on her own initiative instead of being totally helpless. Like many series, the last book is not as well written even though it might have a more satisfactory plot in some ways.

Well, I haven’t read any of the books, but I did see the film (shudder). I can’t remember if it was explained in the film, but maybe it is in the book - why does the vampire (pasty-faced emo wimp - I can’t recall his name) have a family, especially the kind of typical nuclear family that we might expect of any over-privileged pasty-faced emo wimp teenager? They’re immortal right? no? Why would a goddam vampire choose to live in the countryside with a bunch of losers and have the ‘kids’ bedroom? Shouldn’t he have his own castle/cool penthouse and a cover story like, I dunno, he was orphaned and inherited a fortune? What the fuck?

Vampires are divided into two groups: nomads and covens. Most of the time, covens are not very tightly connected except for bonded pairs (which are, by the way, apparently always male-female). When vampires go “vegetarian” (author’s ridiculous term for drinking only animal blood, not mine), they are able to become more civilized and develop stronger relationships. Being in the relationships makes it easier to figt the urge to kill some humans.

The only reason that this coven has a lot of money is because Alice can see the future. The father, being a doctor, would probably do OK for himself, but none of the others have a profession. So, if they moved out on their own, they might go broke.

The bonded pairs do sometimes go off by themselves for a long honeymoon. Because of their apparent ages, they are often said to go off to college. Edward and Bella were given a cottage on the Cullens’ property as a wedding gift so they could have some privacy.