I learned a lot of stuff on that list by watching cooking shows on TV. I don’t know if you can really learn how to cook and omlet or debone a leg of lamb or how to julienne carrots by reading it from a book without actually being able to see someone do it. It’s a little frustrating, because these people are obviously professionals and your efforts will not look as good as theirs, but once you have seen the basic technique demonstrated, go slow (especially where knives are involved!) and practice a lot.
Good Eats with Alton Brown, in particular, focuses on mechanics and theory rather than just rushing through recipes. Alton has a pretty good book called I’m Just Here for the Food, which is light on the recipes and heavy on the theory. Its basically organized around different ways of applying heat to food: boiling, roasting, grilling, etc. and how to use these methods on different types of food (meat and veggies.)
For Basic Cooking Knowledge, I refer most often to my Betty Crocker Cookbook. It’s got definitions of different cooking terms, oven temperatures and cooking times for different types of meat, how long to boil an egg, etc.
And, I hate to say it, most of the things on your list are only going to come with practice. I know how to make my favorite dishes from memory because I’ve made them dozens of times. I started making my “own” dishes by substituting new ingredients into recipes I knew well, and branching out from there. I can coordinate side dishes with main dishes because I’ve made bunches of both, and have a mental index of good combos.
But if you can find cookbooks that suggest side dishes, that’s a great way to pick up some tips on harmonizing your meals. The Moosewood cookbooks are excellent for this (if you’re at all interested in vegetarian cuisine). All the recipes list other recipes that would be good with it, like “Pair this hearty stew with a light green salad with Raspberry Vinagrette Dressing (p. 68), or Sauted Spring Vegetables (p. 198).”
For me, visualization is key. I have sit down and imagine that I’m eating, the main course, say, grilled salmon. Really think about the taste and the texture. Okay, I’ve had a delicious mouthful of salmon. Now, what do I want? Mashed potatoes? Uh, no. I want someting cool and juicy . . . Hmm . . . Mango? Oh, yeah! Mango and cucumber salad? But that was a little too spicy last time. What if I skip the minced chili pepper and coconut and add some mint instead? That could be good . . . Mmmm, a bite of minty mango and cucumber, then a bite of salmon . . . That’s perfect! Whether it turns out perfect in practice, well . . . you can’t learn without making some mistakes.