So, I was almost castrated last night

I was sitting quitely on the couch watch Leno and/or Letterman, with my noble companion Scooter sleeping on my lap. My neighbor tends to knock on doors very loudly, and as she did (looking for superglue at midnight, hmmm…) it startled both me and my trusty feline. I may have jumped a little, but he jumped a LOT. He is declawed in the front paws, but not the back. I now have a three inch gash on my upper, inner, right thigh, an inch and a half from my “boys” (yes, I measured it). Bled a good bit for a cat scratch. Had he twitched in his sleep before that know, that particular claw could have been, say, an inch and three quarters further up the leg, well, I can just hear the “plop” as the right-hand-side member of the pair hits the floor.

For those cat-haters out there, he was punished.
For those cat-lovers out there, he survived the punishment.

I WAS wearing underwear at the time. I don’t like my cat THAT much.

so, why did your neighbor need the superglue??

<snicker snicker> Loved the mental image your story evoked… I won’t ask if someone kissed it better…

Now, were it my “cat” sitting on your lap, you wouldn’t have had to worry about gashes on your leg.

Of course, it probably would have caused your neighbor to forget that she was looking for superglue, too… :smiley:

FairyChatMom I have NO CLUE why she wanted it, but I’m the guy who has anything anybody needs in the complex. She was surprised I didn’t have that. I was more concerned about the shooting pain in my next-to-nether-regions.

TruePisces you DO have a good point there!

Nobody kissed it to get better, :frowning: but it DOES still sting a little :eek: Any volunteers?

True I’m gonna leave that one alone, there may be kids here.

I got pretty close to castrating myself last night, too, but amazingly, I suffered no damage.

Well, given the situation, it may be useful to note that superglue has been used in surgical applications. It’s apparently very good for sealing wounds that would otherwise need stiches.

Mind you, using it to reattach one of the “boys” might be a bit beyond it’s therapeutic abilities.

No points, love, only soft curves. :wink:

raises hand I’ve been told I have a healing touch…

sigh Where’s the fun in that? Guess I’ll just have to go back to the fantasy thread…

Whoa, Deja Vu…

Several years back my cat was on my lap, asleep, when my wife came home from work; her opening the door startled him, and he launched, leaving a gouge in my inner left thigh. My wife couldn’t understand my histrionics until she saw the blood running from between my fingers as I was applying direct pressure.

No, I didn’t punish him; he didn’t do anything wrong, just acting natural, and wouldn’t have understood why.

Being of the fairer sex, I’m afraid I can’t reply with anything but sympathy and a sincere gratefulness that no males 'nads were harmed in either your’s or VB’s incidents.

I mean, two such handsome men, injured in such a manner! Well, it doesn’t bear thinking about. :eek:

So glad you’re ok, UncleBill. Oh, and you also, VB.

[sub]And to think the damage was almost done to both by a male feline too![/sub]
:smiley: Love the irony.

how does one punish a cat?

Same question here, exactly. What did you do to him?

No…must resist…

he was p**sywhipped.

My beast is actually the best trained cat I’ve seen (except those who do circus tricks in Key West). I have a command voice he knows well. He’s restricted to the courtyard where I live, and when he “wanders” to the exits, I sit in my chair and tell him he’s about to make a bad decision and lose his outdoor priveleges for a while (but I don’t use that many words). He listens.

The other night I did a [command voice]NO! BAD SCOOTER! GET OUT OF HERE![/command voice] and didn’t let him back on the coffee table.

I know, it was cruel, but it was in the heat of the moment.