…and I’ve never been to a “real” one in my entire life. I’m from a very small hick town and there are no such things as gyms unless you count the place where the school’s basketball team plays.
I’m a bit nervous. If I walk in tonight and there are only skinny tan chicks, I’m going to be upset. Very upset. Nothing to make you feel even fatter than being surrounded by a bunch of thin people.
However, I am taking a positive step toward bettering my help. I think.
Maybe in the far distant future, I can shop in the “regular” people’s section. Clothes for fat women are UGLY.
Enough rambling.
Anyone want to share first time at the gym experiences??? Do I need to take anything besides a towel and water??
Good for you—I’ve been going to the gym for about three weeks now. Ask when you first go what you’ll need—most gyms supply (tiny, scratchy) towels. You’ll need your own lock for a locker, though. Bring flip-flops for the shower room. And remember to take your watch off before going into the shower!
I go to a gym in midtown Manhattan, and there is a good contingent of doughy middle-aged people along with the toned stick-insects. I’ve been doing the Nautilius circuit, and the hang-by-your-elbows leg-lifty thing.
Make sure you wear loose underwear to ease the pain when the muscle chicks give you a wedgie.
Never close your eyes while in the shower, and if you drop the soap never never bend over to pick it up.
Bring lots of small items to place on each and every machine, so you can always claim that your were using it and just stepped away.
Make sure you always bring a personal player, such as a CD, casette or MP3 player, preferably all three, and a cell phone.
Make a big show of selecting a magazine to read in the treadmill, and then make sure you step off the treadmill at least 10 times during your workout to replace the magazine. This will make you look like an old hand in the gym.
Never ever go to the gym without full-blown-evening makeup. If you’re male this is especially important, but still crucial if you’re female.
If you drive to the gym make sure you always park as close as possible to the front door, even if you have to spend hours circling the parking lot. This will enhance the quality of your workout as you will save all your energy for the workout, instead of wasting it on walking.
Remember gyms are not the place to sweat and be out of breath, save that for the bedroom.
If you’re female you will be required to fill out a questionnaire on what type of men you’d like to hit on you. This is important, since this is the one thing you can count on to happen during each and every single visit to the gym.
And finally, if you discover any hidden cameras in the locker room, don’t worry, those are only transmitting into the other locker room and then only to members who pay the “special” rate.
If you decide you really don’t like the gym, and decide not to go anymore, try this: Before you go for the last time, buy a dozen donuts. After your last workout, take out the donuts, sit down on the floor in the middle of the place, where everyone can see you, and calmly eat the donuts.
As you can tell, I’ve always wanted to do that.
But seriously: try out a variety of machines, and don’t be afraid to ask how to use them. Even the most daunting machines have a wide range of settings, so they can be used by just about anyone.
Thanks for the advice. Lucky for me, the rep who came by today to sign me up mentioned a special offer that ended today ( I don’t think it was a ploy because the original plan that they presented during the sign-ups at our work did not include the offer). I joined up my fiance for only 20 bucks more a month, without having to pay the $75 enrollment fee and no processing fee. Now I don’t have to go by myself! Yeah! If I’m going to be getting all fit and sexy, he needs to too! (Nah…I love my big teddy bear)
I can’t wait to go!!!
(Nah…I love my big teddy bear)