So I'm paying my bills...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

…And I tear open my cable bill and the amount is: $738.49

:eek:

WTF?

So I read down the list of charges and there is 3 or 4 PPV orders on virtually every day of each month of the billing period. And it’s all porn.

I didn’t worder this shit!.. :confused:

So I flip to the front of the bill for the customer service number… clearly this is some kind of huge error… and then I see it. It’s my next door neighbour’s bill. :rolleyes:

This is definitely too much information.

I suppose I will drop it off to him annonymously but I feel like leaving some kind of smart ass note… I won’t… but it’s tempting…

2

Actually, why don’t you just call the cable company pretending to be your neighbor and ask for another copy of your bill to be sent to you because you think you accidentally threw “yours” way. That way, your neighbor is none the wiser…

3

Tape the bill to a jar of Vaseline and put it in his mailbox.

4

So what you’re saying is that your neighbor is rich and horny, eh?

5

Fuck that… Now I’m thinking of finding out if he’s a sex offender. :dubious:

6

Ah. Then put some sand in the jar.

7

Obviously he’s not that smart. I mean if he’s THAT lonely 800 bucks will buy you several good times with the nationality of your choice.

Not that I’d know :smiley:

8

Most companies will charge a “convenience charge” for this. Also, you won’t have the social security number of the neighbor.

9

I could just say I opened the bill by mistake because it was in my mailbox. I’m sure the cable company would re-issue without much of a fuss. It’s not like I have to tell them who I am. I’ll block my phone number when I call.

Still, disturbing to know what some of your neighbours intimate habits are.

10

My rent is only about $60 more than he spends on porn each month.

That is amazing.

[sub]I’ll bet he’s a very quiet neighbor.[/sub]

11

Dude, fuck the Vaseline…this guy needs Gatorade.

12

Maybe you should introduce your neighbour to the internet. He can get all the free porn he wants!

13

This is priceless. One of the Google Ads for this thread is “Christian Debt Help”. :smiley:

14

And while you’ve got them on the Phone, order more porn.
When come back, bring porn.

15

I’ve never received a bill that high, but I did receive a couple years ago that had some pay-per-views that I didn’t order. (And neither did anyone else, because I was home alone at the times they were being shown.) They took them off without any hassle, believe it or not.

16

There, that’s what you need to do: call the cable company, pretend to be your neighbor, and contest some of the movies. "OK, I remember ordering ‘Jugs-a-Rama,’ but I **certainly ** didn’t order ‘Anal Suck Fest!’ What do you think I am, a pervert?!? :smiley:

17

My rent is almost HALF of his porn bill! :eek:

18

Rather disturbingly the google ad is ‘Pay your vets fees’ :eek

I once moved to a flat and got a gas bill after a month for over £620 under the previous tenant’s name. I called and told them the date i had moved in (and faxed them a copy of my contract with the owner) but they didn’t send me my own bill. By the time i left it was up to £780 but they still refused to give me my own account. Some guy did come round from the gas company and according to him the bill for the whole building (8 different flats) was being sent to the account for my flat. They still didn’t cut it off and even though i offered to pay my share three different times they weren’t interested. So that year i got free gas :slight_smile:

19

Hell, my mortgage is $100/month less than his porn bill.

That’s some impressive spanking, there, boy.

20

Mine, too.

Damn.

I’m highly impressed.

E.