Ok, so this is what happened. Son of a bitch.
Friday afternoon I was getting ready to start preparing for work at 4:30pm. At about 2pm I thought I would have a snack, and grabbed the second half of a pound of strawberries I bought Tuesday evening. I washed them well and set into eating them. I usually dip them in a little granulated sugar, I like the crunch.
Almost immediately I noticed my lips and tongue were tingly, but I put it off to the natural astringent properties of strawberries. It wasn’t until I had finished them all (about 6 fat berries) that I realized the tingling was spreading through my whole face, and I was slightly short of breath. I got up to go after my water bottle, and noticed I was rather dizzy and weak feeling. My stomach then started to cramp up, and I felt nauseous. I polled several people as to what I should do, most agreed I probably needed medical attention. I tried to drink some water and I found it hard to swallow, and that’s what decided me to call 911, along with the memory of Mom’s sudden fire ant allergy that nearly killed her.
I told the 911 dispatcher what was going on and she said she was sending the paramedics over to me. I put on decent clothes and clean undies, gathered the medicines I take daily (ibuprofen, Aleve, multivitamin, and Claritin) and was waiting for them on the front porch. The paramedics and one policeman arrived and checked me over, my blood pressure was a whopping 181/110 (my normal is near 115/70) so little danger of shock, but my blood oxygen saturation was 98% and my pulse rate was elevated but within tolerance. They asked me all the usual questions and I answered them honestly. I couldn’t see very well by this point, and was having trouble speaking. I did try to keep talking so I could make sure I wasn’t losing mental acuity and so I could gauge by their reactions how much sense I was making.
As my symptoms weren’t improving (by this point it had been an hour or so since I ate the berries) and I kept noticing new ones, I decided to ride to the hospital. Money be damned, I didn’t feel like dying today. The paramedics were very kind and took good care of me. I stayed calm, and fought the growing panic in my gut. They got me to St John’s Medical Center where I told the whole story to three more people. I wasn’t allowed to drink yet, so they started an IV to help me stay hydrated and for pushing medicines. It took them three sticks, thanks to my rolly veins. IV went in the crappiest place, the back of my right hand.
A nurse came by and put the little thingies on me to do an EKG, which was normal. They tested my blood and found nothing to cause alarm. My blood pressure and heart rate were slowly getting back into normal range. They gave me Benadryl, Pepcid, and Prednisone intravenously. I very nearly conked out right then, but I fought sleep to make sure it was all going to work. I watched as my pulse rate and blood pressure dropped even further. I literally felt my airways opening back up and I could breathe deeply again. I tried a sip of water and it went down fine. I waited a bit longer until couldn’t stand the urge to pee anymore, and asked for help to the bathroom. I was still a but weak and uncoordinated.
When I returned the doctor said it would be all right to remove the IV and let me get on out of there. He gave me a referral to follow up with a physician, suggested an allergy battery test, and cautioned me to avoid strawberries (duh) and other common food allergens until after the allergy test. He told me that when allergies crop up suddenly, it may indicate other physical issues that need attention, as that isn’t normal. He gave me a prescription for predniSONE and one for Pepcid, and told me to double up on the Claritin. He said that the fact I take Claritin daily may have prevented a worse episode.
I called my best friend who was kind enough to come and carry me home from the hospital. Currently 11:15pm, my face is still numb, I have no taste in my mouth, and I have severe double vision, with or without my glasses. I am hoping sleep will fix this. My blood pressure right now is 156/98, with a resting heart rate of 102 bpm (geez! all high numbers for me) but for now I am attributing this to stress and the side effects of the drugs I am full of. I will check again in the morning.
So yeah, that was my Friday afternoon! Fun times! Honestly I was scared poopless, despite my many ills, I remain fairly healthy. Let me add some - MOTHERFUCKER. This is two weeks after I canceled my useless health insurance. They were charging me $36 a week for a yearlong waiting period on everything, girly checkups weren’t considered ‘preventive care’ and I would have to pay out of pocket and hope to be reimbursed. Goddammit, I am a chef and a foodie - what other foods that I like are lurking, waiting to try to kill me?
I would hate to be the sad sack who got taken out by a strawberry. My ghost would never get any respect.