I was watching the episode of Rhoda where she gets married, and they changed the wedding vow from “As long as you both shall live,” to “as long as you both shall love.”
First of all I know it’s a TV show and Rhoda is a feminist so I wouldn’t expect her to have things like “obey” in the ceremony.
But something about changing “live” to “love” somehow, at least to me, changing the whole concept of a marriage to from something permanent to something casual.
What do you all think? And again, I realize people can say what they want, but for some reason, this caught my ear.
It was like on Mama’s Family, when Vint and Naomi get married, Vint promises to take Naomi for “as long as we both think it’s a good idea.” OK but that was purposely played up for comic effect
I think you’re dead on, and was intended to sound very modern back in the 1970s - an explicit recognition of the availability of divorce as a guilt-free (or at least, ethically free) escape hatch. “We’re currently and publicly in love, but we know people can change and don’t judge them for it, so we will not presume to say we’re any more sure about the infinite sustainability of our love than everybody else. I never promised you forever…”
The vows my wife and I took were for “as long as love shall last” rather than until death. I don’t think it’s made our marriage (fourteen years so far) less special - in fact, I might even go so far as it’s taken a lot of pressure off and made it easier for us to accept our limitations and weaknesses. By making those vows, we acknowledged that we are both human, and that humans grow in different directions sometimes.
Our relationship now is stronger than it has ever been, I think. It hasn’t been necessary, and I don’t think it ever will be, but if we mutually decide it’s time to split, then it won’t be some giant failure to live up to the things we vowed to do, merely a recognition that the time has come when we have fulfilled them.
I like how everyone is saying this is like to cover your ass in case you decide to divorce. It is possible to love someone until the day you die. Just as it’s possible to marry the wrong person. I think the vow is ok if you want to do, but not my taste. You can divorce and still be in love (both parties) and you can be married for decades (and never have been in love at all).
It’s too late to ask Liz, but maybe Zsa Zsa is coherent enough that we could find out what she really meant if she ever said “so long as you both shall live.”
"I couldn’t take it any longer - Lord!, I was crazed,
And the feeling came upon me like a tidal wave
So I sweared to my God and on my mother’s grave
That I would love you 'til the end of time -
I swore, I would love you 'til the end of time!