Yesterday our new CEO had another “anonymous” survey sent out, asking "On a scale of 1 to 10, how clear is your understanding of our new strategy from the “All Hands” call in April and various communication?"
The snark was strong in me at that time and I answered “Stil sounds more like corporate-speak soundbites than an actual roadmap to leverage our synergies, but I continue to look forward to the implementation of the new strategy.” Typos and all.
This morning I come in to an email (still secure) from our CEO "How would you like to get involved in one of the ongoing projects to implement our new staretgy? Seems like,someone who could make a contribution, "
Really.
I suspect it is a trap, or he really thinks that ‘leveraging our synergies’ is a real thing. I have not replied yet. What do the Teeming Millions think?
Is that a direct quote? I notice it doesn’t say which end of the scale represents highest clarity.
I might reply something like “are you asking me because you think I know what ‘leveraging our synergies’ means, or because I’m the only one who admits that I don’t?” But then, I’m unemployed so I can afford to be snarky.
Another option is to go along with it; spout buzzwords for the next twenty years and see how far up the corporate ladder you can climb.
Here are a few tips that should help you in this situation.
Most new jobs are found with networking. Connect with everyone you can on LinkedIn and don’t be shy about asking for a meeting with a friend of a friend if they can help you get in at a desirable company.
Your resume shouldn’t be too long. One page for every five years of work or so at most. Cut jobs that are more than ten years old.
If you work with a recruiter, make sure it’s a reputable one. Shady ones will spam people with your resume and can actually get you blacklisted at some companies since they don’t want to pay headhunter fees.
Reply in earnest. If it is a trap, you are going to be fired no matter how you respond, but if it is not a trap, it matters.
(And I also get suspicious of “anonymous” surveys, to be filled out over the web where every employee gets a different URL, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t actually anonymous. I take comfort in the fact that the executives aren’t bright enough to use the tech as maliciously as I could.)
We also get surveys like this. They stopped saying that they’re anonymous after enough of us explained that they couldn’t possibly be. Now they just say that the results are confidential and that they will never see the results in a way that identifies individuals. Not that they couldn’t see those results, just that they will not see those results. Unless they wanted to, in which case the survey company would happily serve up the data they paid for.
I’m always honest anyway. I’ve been blunt enough to the executives in person that I don’t worry that I’ll get in trouble for saying what I think in a survey.
And, to answer the question, saying no to the CEO is generally not an option. You can tell him that the ideas are stupid but you can’t say that you don’t want to help. Our CEO would get rid of someone would turned down such a request.
We just had our annual employee survey. During the two weeks the survey was open, we had a pizza party/open forum with the head of this facility; a free lunch one day; someone walked around another day handing out free lip balm, sunscreen and cookies; and another day there was a free coffee cart in the lobby. Someone’s bonus must depend on good survey results to justify all of the attempts at bribing the rank and file staff.
And yes, we also were told multiple times that the survey results were anonymous, but not to share the URL we received with others.
That agrees with my gut instinct. I replied “Thank you, yes. I would be happy to do what I can to help make the transission smooth. What projects need help?”
Can’t type for beans.
Hopefully, since headquarters is eight states away I can participate online or by phone conferences.
This sounds similar to what happened in the “Office Space” movie. An office drone speaks his mind about the crappy work conditions and the managers think he’s a straight-talking go-getter who isn’t being challenged enough. He ends up with a nice promotion. So, maybe that could happen.
Go for it - you could get some major networking points for it.
Learn what his alma mater is. Find out his favorite golf course and the color of his ties. Dig into his biography and see what positions he started - did he start in the mail room too? You too could be the next J. Pierpont Finch and learn How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.
About 12 years ago, my husband was the engineering manager in a group meeting with a VP. The veep asked for opinions and my husband give his honestly. He was fired that very afternoon. Six months later, the company folded. I guess the moral of the story is “Know your audience.” Another moral is “Self-important VPs with MBAs and no practical experience in manufacturing or engineering would benefit from listening to their engineers and production supervisors.”
(I’m not saying my husband is a business genius, but the issues that he raised to the VP were the very things that brought the business crashing down.)
Nothing good ever comes from responding to employee surveys. At best, they’re a waste of your time; at worst, well, you now know from personal experience.
But, we get nag emails if we don’t fill them out, with the nag-email-list limited to those who haven’t filled them out (but nevertheless insisting that they are anonymous).
Maybe respond to the nagging by saying : “I’m sorry, but you have sent this email to me by mistake. I already filled out the survey and sent it to you last week, anonymously of course.”
If they keep asking, just play innocent. Eventually, they’ll have to shut up, or admit that they were lying about the anonymity.
(note: please act on my advice only after you have already found another job ).
Back a few jobs ago (my leaving it had nothing to do with the following anecdote) I was asked to participate in something similar. Anonymous surveys were sent out by our CTO (we were the R&D section) about various things, and I responded. Truthfully. Well, that got back to my boss (the metrics used to track who responded to the survey were based on Department Numbers - out of the 150 people he supervised, I was the only person who charged to that account - it wasn’t rocket science to figure out) and ultimately I was asked if I wanted to serve on a committee to - well - I suppose I still don’t grasp what they were trying to accomplish, but it involved “fixing things” in one way or another. I said, “Sure - what can it hurt?” My box grinned and said, “Go for it!” At these meetings, I again made my honest feelings known.
In the approximately 8 years I worked there following that, I was never, EVER asked to serve on another committee. My boss thought it was hysterical - he said they never saw it coming.
You’re CEO seems actually interested in your opinion and is giving you the opportunity to participate in one of the projects. This is a bad thing…why?
“Leverage our synergies” actually does have a real meaning. It means taking an approach where the whole provides a benefit to the company that is greater than can be provided by the sum of the parts.
Probably not a great idea to fill out surveys sarcastically. Either fill it out truthfully, but tactfully, or if you think your responses will be ignored or used against you, just fill it out neutrally.
I get that a lot of offices are run by dipshits. Mine certainly was. But if you aren’t contributing to the solution, at some point you become part of the problem.
If you truly feel that your management doesn’t care, is incompetent in their execution or actively retaliates against anyone who provides appropriate feedback that differs from their official narrative, you should look for another job. At some point, you are basically just settling for coasting for incompetents instead of finding a place that will actually challenge you.
Which is pretty empty, even allowing for the fact that ‘leverage’ is not a verb, and doesn’t add anything to the meaning of ‘synergy’ I can see besides ‘this phrase needs a verb.’
I get that the concept of ‘whole is greater than the sum of its parts’ is a valid concept, but it’s a pretty useless piece of advice.
Let’s do things where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Yes, let’s get right on that.
