Being 75 years old, he of course has a plethora of things wrong with him. There’s the diverticulitus had him in agony to begin with; then there was shortness of breath that led to concerns about cardiac problems; and now there’s worry about his kidney function.
I’ve been there every morning before work and every night after work; slept at the hospital Monday night. Been updating all the concerned parties by text message. By concerned parties I mean his other 7 children, plus the three of my cousins who are closest to him, plus his sister and my mother’s one remaining sister. I’ve been passing on all the information I get from the doctors once a day. Because there’s so many of us, I haven’t been making phone calls beyond the first one; if anyone really wants more information, they can call me, and I happily share it.
One of my cousinshas been very helpful. He brought food over without having to be asked; he went to check on my cat the same way; and so forth. But another of the those cousins, who has, in the last few years, taken to calling my father not simply “Daddy” but My Daddy"–as in “Skald, take my daddy some turkey”–just called to complain because I have not been giving HER personal updates. She’s not satisfied with the text message everybody else is getting; she thinks that I should have been calling her, day by day, to keep her in the loop, because she’s so much more special than everyone else.
Gah. I’m so sorry to hear your dad’s not well. I hope you can find some slack for CousinSpecialSnowflake, but I’ll cheerfully loan you some ducttape to keep her quiet.
Skald, sorry to hear your Dad’s in the hospital. Sounds like you’re doing everything anyone could reasonably expect. Maybe you could delegate one of your siblings to personally update the cousin after your text to everybody. That way, at least one other person will know she’s being unreasonable and it’s not about anything you’re doing wrong. She sounds like a nutcase, though I’ve observed there’s at least one in every family. Hang in there and don’t let your health go to pot during this time of troubles.
You have my sympathies! One of my four sisters was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago. I asked her to come live with me, as I had the space for her, plus experience as a home nurse.
Since she arrived, she’s had three surgeries related to the cancer. Obviously, she thinks the first people to be advised of how she is doing (post-op) are her two (adult) children. But there are at least a half-dozen other people who’ve made it crystal clear that I’m to call them ‘first thing’! Uh, yeah, I can only call one person ‘first’, and if she didn’t give birth to you, it ain’t gonna be you!
Having said that, my thoughts are with you and your father. I hope he’s on the mend, and soon.
Oh, and when he’s released from the hospital, would you mind giving me a call. . .?
Some people are psycho about true family relationships. My grandmother, who helped raise me, died at 86 years old two months ago. I was devastated by the news and I am the oldest grandchild. I was listed first under grandchildren in the obituary in the regional paper which was proper but under the ‘grandchildren’ section, there was an entry in bold type about an honorary grandchild by itself called ‘Sam’ that none of of the rest of us had ever heard of. It turns out that one of my much younger grandmother’s friends voluntarily put the obituary into the newspaper and ‘Sam’ is her younger daughter who knew my grandmother and liked her.
I don’t want to sound callous or superficial but that is NOT COOL. That is my grandmother and my flesh and blood that I knew throughout my entire life. You just just pull a quarterback sneak at the end to get attention for yourself or whoever else you feel like including.
I’ll agree with you, eleanorigby but only if Sklad the Elder would be ok with it. We only know StR’s view on things at the moment, and Cousin Stupid might be someone Sklad the Elder doesn’t want in his hospital room.
Oh, you’ve posted about her before, haven’t you? I remember a wretched “My daddy” individual. Meh, let her keep wasting oxygen. When she talks, just hum the tune of a little ditty in your head and nod with a furrowed brow. The Gilligan Island theme works well.
“How come you aren’t calling me??? Why—”
(Dah, doot doot doot dah dah doot doot doot…)
“my daddy is in the hospital and—”
(Dah doot doot doot dat dooooooo…)
.
ETA: Sorry to hear your dad’s in the hospital. I know you don’t get along so great, you heathen, but that still sucks for everyone.
Or get all of your normal relatives to phone the Cousin SpecialSnowFlake after each text, and relay the content of the text in their own words.
Text: They’ve taken out the catheter, that’s apparently a good sign
Phone1: They’ve taken out the catheter, that’s apparently a good sign
Phone2: They’ve taken out the catheter, that’s apparently a good sign
Phone3: They’ve taken the tube out of the…you know…penis…which is apparently a good sign
Phone4: The pee tube is gone
Phone5: Apparently they’ve taken some kind of math thing out.
This should drive her crazy, and make her feel in the loop.
Nah, that’s not really fair. Of the seven siblings and three cousins mentioned in the OP, she’s the only one who has taken an attitude. My cousin Sam & his wife had a more typical response; knowing that I’ve been at the hospital so much, they’ve fed the cat & gotten the mail and such without having to be asked. My oldest brother can’t be arsed to come visit his father, but as I despise him I can’t say his absence bothers me enormously.
Does the hospital have a care pages website or some such? Many have a place online now where one or more designated family members can post updates and everyone who wants to can check in or be alerted when there is an update. It’s really helpful for keeping lots of people in the loop when someone is in the hospital.
Oh, I didn’t mean for her to help out “her daddy”. I meant for her to step up and help those who are “first responders”. IOW, she gets to run the errands, keep the plants watered, the house(s) clean, pick up the take away (and pay for it) etc. And if she works really hard and doesn’t whine, she gets to be on the approved list of visitors (with supervision).
