This only was lacking. Project your paranoia much?
Puh-lease. Sweet and sour chicken or it’s on.
In the interests of harmony, can we all agree, notong zi dan?
Have you tried withholding Chinese Food every time he or she goes to Church?
Have you ever had a teenaged boy? I withhold food, I die, Christian or not. 
Most have found that they have to withhold it again an hour later.
Hardly, what I describe happens. And I’ve heard plenty of atheists talk about the misery and abuse their parents put them through.
The atheist in a catholic church IS the rebellious bad boy that drives all the girls wild…
You sound like a good guy, SeanHallam. As already mentioned in this thread, it is socially acceptable for the religious to be intolerant of atheists. Many people (including fellow atheists) think that you should tolerate their intolerance because they’re your parents. These very people may not endorse submission if you decided to be another (socially acceptable) religion or were a homosexual. I suspect that the reasons are that these people are, themselves, religious and can’t empathize or they think that it’s easier to be in the closet if you’re an atheist. It’s certainly easier to pretend to be a believer than to pretend to be heterosexual. However, I think that it’s still very unhealthy.
I fell out of the atheist closet when I was a little older than you. My Mom forced me to go to confession and I told the priest that I didn’t believe in God. The priest told me to say some Our Fathers and Hail Mary’s and, in my nervousness, I laughed hard enough that people outside the confessional could hear me. My Mom was so embarrassed (and so was I) that she stopped forcing me to go to church but harassed me for the next 20 years or so. The harassment was not that frequent but it was hostile at first and settled down after I got married and moved across the country. My Dad confessed about 10 years ago that he is an atheist too ("Don’t tell your Mother!).
I’m in the closet with my Southern Baptist in-laws. My Mom tried to out me one time and I bald-faced lied, “Mom, don’t joke about things like that, you’ll upset MIL!” I know they suspect me because they know I believe in Evil-ution. I just don’t want to start any trouble for my husband so I don’t say anything. They used to insist on having my daughter stay with them over the summer (again across country) where they would force her to go to church and sunday school. When she was younger, I’d gently deprogram the more fundamentalist aspects of Southern Baptism out of her but always told her that if she believes in some kind spiritualism, I’d support her as long as the religion was compassionate. As a scientist, I’d probably discourage any anti-science. Well, she’s an atheist too so I guess I don’t have to worry. She’s also in the closet with my in-laws.
So, I’m not sure what advice to give you. I suppose you can tell them that you’ll pretend to be catholic and go to church if it makes them feel better but they can’t force you to believe something you simply don’t believe. I suspect that they’ll react the way my Mom reacted.
Also, know that atheists are a minority but there’s plenty of atheist, humanist, freethinker and skeptic groups out there for you to meet like-minded people. If you go to college, you’ll find a lot of those groups on campus.
Hey, I’m impressed. I think raising a kid religious if you’re not would be much tougher than vice-versa.
I’m a Believer (see that capital B? I’m hoping Jay-sus does, too…) with a kid who proclaimed himself an Atheist … in the middle of Confirmation class. He went to a few more classes because he said he “liked learning shit”, but gave up going to church because, well, it’s boring. I agree with him there.
I wish he believed in God, because well, I think it’s true… and because I think his life would be easier. But damn, shit happens. And everyone has an equal right to their beliefs. And I just wish the OP’s parents could accept that.
The trouble with some religions, including Christianity, is that it’s quite possible to believe that your loved one is actually in serious danger by being an atheist. If you believe in Christianity you almost certainly believe Jesus is the best way to salvation, if not the only way. In that case, respecting your child’s belief that there is no God is even more dangerous than respecting their belief that Russian roulette with a semi-automatic is fun for all the family.
Everything except abuse and downright bigotry gets a free pass when you are in someone else’s house. They keep it stunningly clean, you use a coaster. They are slobs, you don’t say anything (and maybe wash up extra well in the bathroom). Asking someone to respect your faith (or lack of it) is not bigotry.
Well, it’s the OP’s house too. Sure, his parents provide it to him for his use as well, and I believe in “my house, my rules” to a point. Expecting a non-believer to go to church (and either pretend or be very rude) is past the point. One of the things parents have to come to terms with is that their children, especially at the age of 17, have an obligation to assert some independence. As my father (a pediatrician) used to say, “you wouldn’t want a child that is too obedient.”
A house in which you are a permanent resident isn’t “someone else’s house,” even if you’re not paying the bills.
Yes it is. He who pays the bills makes the rules. (As long as his wife doesn’t mind).
Most atheists are quite willing to let the religious folks go about their religion, as long as the atheists aren’t forced to participate in the rituals. Quite a few religious people demand that atheists act as if they are religious, and want the atheists to participate in the religious observances. If someone says, before a meal, “Let’s all pray”, atheists are expected to bow their heads and close their eyes. Not praying, or at least not pretending to pray, is seen as disrespectful.
Plus, of course, atheists are expected to accept insults: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_aDuIU3QxCM8/S9w7LA_wvnI/AAAAAAAAACw/OKTtdSkT5ic/s1600/Respect.cartoon.gif .
I don’t mind keeping family peace by bowing my head when people want to say grace, or going to church on the major holidays. If Moore’s Law keeps going, nobody will be religious in 50 years, anyway.
I think we may have interpreted the OP a little differently - when he says he’s been skipping Mass for a year, I hear an implicit * and his parents already know this *. Because how could they not, if it’s the same church they go to? And he’s been skipping the bible study that’s (checks thread) at their house :smack:. Clearly his brother discovered his atheism by the arcane device of looking around him and paying attention to his surroundings!
The OP has been following the advice of the vast majority of this thread (well, the reasonable elements of it anyway) by not saying anything about it one way or another till absolutely forced to, and just quietly bowing out of activities he didn’t want to be involved in.
I judge the parents in this situation - if their faith is important to them then it’s up to them to show this by discussing it with their children, particularly when one of them has been demonstrating quite clearly for over a year that it’s not important to him. I don’t know how anyone could be blindsided by a declaration of atheism under the circumstances. And if church attendance has never been compulsory before in this family, it certainly shouldn’t become so immediately after someone has said they don’t believe.
Fuck that. You’d have to be an asshole to extend that right to “make rules” to the extent of enforcing thought crimes.
Asking you to respect my beliefs in my house isn’t anywhere near a “thought crime”. It’s called Respect and being a good person.
Thinking you have the right to shit all over my beliefs in my house, disrespecting me and being a COMPLETE ASSHOLE in the process isn’t really a defensible act.
While you won’t catch me praying at the dinner table, if my parents were over, they would, and I’m going to bow my head and sit silently while they do it. If anyone else present decided to be a shit about it because they think it a “thought crime” to be forced to go along, I’m going to introduce them to the door. Just outside that door I’m going to tell them to fuck off, never come back, and don’t bother trying to speak to me anymore because we’re done.