A cherry slurpy and my sofa? If I did that I would not only be turned to stone, but ground-up and used as play sand for the neighbor’s children from hell.
Flowers are good.
Apologize.
Start by apologizing for being a male. That’s always a good place to begin.
OK, I have a serious suggestion. First, I would like to point out that the car is a thing. That being said, from what you have posted (filtered through my value system) it seems to me that your wife’s priorities are out of whack.
If it were me, I would walk out to the car with a hammer and ding the shit out of it a dozen or so times. That would cause a great fight, through which you could have a frank exchange of ideas over what is and is not important. Much make up sex would then follow.
Binarydrone though your motives are galant, I must say they remain a little too barbaric for my tastes. I am leaving here in about an hour. Said wife has not spoken to me all day, she’s under lot’s of stress as it is. She’s on sabbatical to finish a book, and of course money is not exactly flowing in…
I think a sincere appology is in order, though the last bit of your post may be nice 
Chocolate.
Trust me on this.
Grovel. Talk like those priests in bad movies on tropical islands, you know, “Oh great Phlosphr Wife, your slave does humbly beg your forgiveness for his indiscretions…”
Efamol worked for my ex at times like this.
Actually, I would be interested in reading your book! Can you email me the details?
I have a daughter named Kali. The Hindu Kali plays a similar role in Hindu mythology. I hope we have not caused her future husband(s?) great trouble.
If your Gorgon is anything like any of my Gorgons, you are going to have to wait it out. Then apologize profusely, give her chocolate and/or flowers and go down on her. Then discover why the Hindus also have the goddess of constructuve female energy.
Get a divorce and the only settlement is getting her poor, precious car fixed. Find someone else who has better priorities and live happily ever after.
shodan has the right of it. candy, def. candy. cadbury mini eggs are out now. for about $8 dollars you could get a nice bowl, a few packs of mini eggs and viola!!!
or perhaps a candle or two in a nice holder if she doesn’t like candy.
Trust me on this advice… As a woman, I can tell you it should break through to her! Get a dozen roses in a nice vase and have it waiting for her at home. Along with chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And a stuffed animal if she thinks those things are cute. And now the most important part: clean the house. And I mean scrub it top to bottom, better than she ever dreamed of. If she walks into a clean house with some roses sitting on the table, she’ll melt.
Stab her with your short-sword, if you know what I mean.
Naw, just kidding. I have no idea. All I know is that you might want to get your info from a site that doesn’t talk about the primordial great goddess. Check out this for more about that.
ooh, clean the house. Women love that.
Good idea. But there’s a risk, isn’t there. By cleaning the house he’s reinforcing the gorgon-ish behavior. Before long every time she wants the house cleaned she’ll have a fit.
What would B.F. Skinner do?
I think this thread is hilarious…However, I think your wife is being a tad bit punitive with you Phlosphr . I know she’s under a lot of stress, but still, it was an accident!
Anyway, hope she cools off! Good luck!! (Oh, and I would definitely give the chocolate a try;) )
Why doncha just get the door ding fixed?
Skinner would put her in a box and make her push a lever, which would just get Phlosphr in MORE trouble.
Deny Deny Deny
Then Deny.