So my wife is trying to persuade me to move to New Zealand

I assume you were working for some large multinational company - and you take that as being representative of the country in general.

That’s like someone from China going to USA, working for a month at a big tech company in San Francisco, visiting the Grand Canyon, and then claiming they understand everything about American society.

Americans have a reputation in every country in the world of being ignorant and arrogant. While there are certainly plenty of Americans who don’t fit that description, in general it’s a well-earned reputation.

There was an interesting post in another thread by an American who emigrated to Europe and then returned to the US for a visit after living in Europe for many years.

That’s what you’re missing with your pompous pronouncements about ‘making it a point to understand the locals’.

Have you ever wondered if ‘the locals’ are laughing at you behind your back?