So-so date risks life to save you from a violent assault. Are you more/less attracted than before?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I think there was a thread a few weeks back about a real-life event that was relevant, but I don’t remember any of the details and don’t care enough to research. Anywhere, here’s the sitch.

Today’s story, told in the second person, stars the hypothetical you and the androgynously-named Alex. For purposes of this thread, assume two things. The first is that you are single and dating; the second is that Alex is an intelligent, funny, physically fit, and overall attractive person of the correct sex and orientation for you. The two of y’all met through mutual friends about a month ago; y’all got along swimmingly, so Alex asked you out to dinner. But that may have been a mistake, as you feel much less chemistry when having dinner alone. You’re not repulsed or offended by anything; in fact it’s nothing you can put your finger on. Alex is just firmly in the friend zone for you. The reverse is clearly not the case; everything about Alex’s body language, tone of voice, and so forth makes it clear that you are exactly Alex’s type.

Having driven Alex to the restaurant, you must take her/him home. On the way you notice that you’re low on gas, so you stop at a gas station which you, not Alex, chooses. Alex goes into the station to buy something while you’re filling up. During this time, you’re approached by a pair of twitchy meth-heads, one armed with a revolver and the other, a knife. The meth-heads demands your money. Unfortunately something about you sets the gunsel off, and he rams the gun against your forehead and pulls back the hammer.

But all is not lost. Alex has just come out of the store, and displaying heretofore unmentioned fighting skill, knocks the revolver out of the gunsel’s hand and disabes him, swiftly but non-lethally. Unfortunately, in Alex’s haste to keep your brains from decorating the pavement, Alex overlooks the other meth-head, who stabs Alex in the side and then runs off. You, meanwhile, are calling 911, and happily, paramedics arrive in time to keep Alex from bleeding out.

When you visit Alex the hospital a few days later, Alex’s first words are to express happiness that you’re not hurt. After saying thank you for saving my life, you ask why Alex was willing to risk so much for you. You get this response:

“Well, it was mostly instinct, I guess, but I’ve had some training” (feeble laugh) “though clearly not to Batman levels. Anyway, I like you a lot and I didn’t want you to get killed. But listen – I had the feeling you’re weren’t all that into me at the restaurant. I want to see you again, but I don’t want to pressure you. I’ll be going home in a few days. If you want to go out again, give me a call. If not, no hard feelings.”

Poll question: How likely are you to call Alex for a second date?
Thread question: Does Alex’s heroic action increase or decrease your level of attraction to him or her? Decrease it? Is it irrelevant? Why do you feel as you do?

2

Those are some mad skills he displayed, but Alex could’ve gotten my brains splattered across the pavement if he’d been just slightly off on his timing. Meanwhile, said dude-with-gun might’ve been using the gun as a threat to hurry me up in turning over the wallet before the cameras could get a good image/Alex or anyone else came back out of the store/a cop drove by.

I mean, that’s all very dramatic and sounds nice in stories but usually doesn’t work out that nicely.

3

Are you close to running out of androgynous names yet?

Given the way you described her originally would be enough for a second date. I would not make my mind up so quickly about someone who has nothing wrong with her that I am attracted to and she has done nothing to repulse me, hello second date. Saving my life, bonus.

4

I’d ask Alex out again anyway, even without the rescue, because I don’t always trust my first (or second) instincts. Not that many people have been that interested in me, so I’m not going to rush into anything either way.

5

This is more rare than the life saving part, and more of a turn on. I’d give her another chance.

Then there’s this:

If you want to make this harder, don’t make her so damn perfect.

6

I can’t run out, as they’re on a cycle. Pat, Chris, Alex, Odysseus, repeat.

7

Saving my life is a choice I want to encourage, as a matter of policy. If Alex wants another date, she gets one. And I admit, that level of badass is kind of hot.

8

Hmmm…If I might invoke Oak’s Rules to twist the facts given to have her injured while we fought together against the bad guys, then I’d probably be inclined to go out with her again and see what happens.

9

One finds all sorts of hidden virtues in people who have saved your life. A second date is a given.

10

Hell, for a so-so date with someone as physically and intellectually attractive as that, I’d be about 50-50 on the second date anyway. I would be more likely to ask Alex out given the heroics than if the date had ended uneventfully.

11

Alex lost me when she said “sitch”.

12

True enough. In a comic book, Alex would have taken both meth-heads down with a single (albeit ricocheting) toss of a convenient garbage-can lid.

On the other hand – the twitchy meth-head had just jammed a gun to your head and pulled back the hammer. Given that e was a twitchy meth-head, I rather doubt he was practicing proper gun-handling practices. It seems more likely to me that hypothetical-you were about to join the choir invisible. Given that Alex succeeded in keeping you un-haloed, what course of action would you have preferred?

I don’t see the description as “perfect.” It doesn’t say that Alex is leading man/lady hot–just attractive. And even then the assets listed are all superficial. Someone can be engaging and funny in a group, yet grating and annoying in person. And even when that isn’t true, there can simply be a lack of chemistry.

13

I’d ask her out again- in my experience, so-so friend-zone dates usually came from someone not really being someone I could hold an interesting conversation with- usually because they were uninteresting. Barring that, I had some so-so dates because the online date person was unappealing for some reason- super-Christian, repulsively ugly, or something similar.

I’m going to assume that it’s the first- the conversation didn’t go anywhere interesting, since that’s the most common one in my experience. Now that she’s done something interesting, I’d want to hear how she learned that, etc… THAT is interesting.

14

Those weren’t meth heads they were friends Alex co-opted for a scenario to make him into a hero in your eyes. The scheme backfired due to the clumsiness of second actor who stabbed when he was supposed to have missed. What do you expect from guys stupid enough to participate in such a scheme? Run a mile from foolish flaky Alex!

15

Hell, that’s worth at least a blowjob. I’d date him for a few months, do some kinky stuff with him, then if it doesn’t work out, thank him for the time and the fun

16

And you base this on…?

17

More attracted. I’d go out on another date and we’d probably have sex. But if I’m still not feeling any chemistry, I’m not gonna fake it.

18

Word for word, this.

19

I don’t know if I’d be more attracted than before, but it would definitely be worth another date. I can’t always trust my first impressions and I’d be willing to date her up until the HellMouth opens…

20

More attracted. But really the most attractive part was when I came to see him in the hospital and he asked if I was okay. Compassion is sexy.