So the Pope Is Resigning

[Jackknifed_Juggernaut]

I suspect he got God’s permission before doing this?

Anyway, he’s still got two nights of Mardi Gras/Carnival left!

[InsomniaMama]

@aceplace57

He slowed down a lot after he got shot.

People do.

[tapu]

So… basically a two-week notice. Like he works at Wendy’s or Old Navy…

[Mighty_Girl]

@Marley23

For whatever it’s worth, his older brother says he’s known for months that this was coming.

And yet he quit with two weeks notice? Not buying it. My guess is that he is losing it, and he doesn’t have months. If he were dying he’d just stick around until the bitter end.

[Count_Blucher]

@Mighty_Girl

Pope Ratzi has to be losing his marbles. Fast.

Nobody’s perfect…

[Morgyn]

Also seen on Facebook:

Pope Benedict resigns.
Yep. Benny had to jet.

[Two_Many_Cats]

@aceplace57

They really need to find a younger man. Much like they did with with John Paul II. He was still a very active man when he became Pope. Skiing and other things. He slowed down a lot after he got shot.

I’m just glad he got shot outside the U.S. Otherwise, we’d never hear the end of it.

[Ethilrist]

So, anybody else thinking, shotgun wedding?

[Siam_Sam]

I wonder if he’ll even remember resigning when he sobers up this morning.

[Boyo_Jim]

I’d bet the Nazis have a few nice retirement chalets in Bavaria.

Or, hey, is the Eagle’s Nest available?

[Senegoid]

@VinylTurnip

“Non sum criminosus!”

Wasn’t that Pope Richard who said that?

[Recusant]

I’m no Catholic, but I have to say I’m kind of surprised by all the negativity I’m hearing, both here and elsewhere, towards this decision. I mean, if he feels he can’t do the job anymore, is it really in the best interest of the (currently embattled) church he supposedly loves to keep doddering on instead of stepping aside to let someone more able-bodied-and perhaps minded take the helm?

[Patty_O_Furniture]

The job posting has already hit Craig’s List:

Leader of international religion (Vatican City)
Job title:

Bishop of Rome / Successor of Saint Peter / Holy See / Pontifex / “The Pope”
Background:

After the recent resignation of Pope Benedict XVI after almost 7 years of service, the Catholic Church is again looking for a Pope to control the Holy Masses. Please note that this position is highly competitive, with applications expected from superstars including Beyonce, and so not all applicants will receive acknowledgement of their application.
Duties
Expected duties and activities of the candidate (if selected) include:

[ul]
[li]Waving hands to large crowds of people[/li]
[li]Conducting Mass (a form of religious ceremony - experience highly regarded)[/li]
[li]Waving incense at functions and events[/li]
[li]Sitting in (comfortable) chairs for long periods of time[/li]
[li]Rule on key religious decisions for the Catholic Church[/li]
[li]Engage with key media organisations, authors (e.g. Dan Brown) and other stakeholders to discuss the role of the Vatican and Catholic Church[/li]
[li]Tweet from the official account @pontifex[/li][/ul]
Skills, experience & competencies:

The candidate should be able to display the following key skills:

[ul]
[li]Ability to disregard any scientific or other breakthroughs that would throw doubt into the religion[/li]
[li]Selective memory of events that ‘may have occurred’ involving staff members of the Vatican and Catholic Church[/li]
[li]Strong skills in denial in a range of topic areas including condom effectiveness[/li]
[li]A highly homophobic attitude[/li]
[li]Excellent skills in making up content on the spot that seems ‘deep and meaningful’[/li]
[li]Knowledge of the Catholic Church, its teachings and history is desirable but not required[/li]
[li]Abstinence from all sexual activity[/li][/ul]
Please note computer skills (other than Twitter) will not be required.

The successful candidate will be required to relocate to Vatican City, a lovely location centrally located within Rome and a very popular tourist destination. A relocation allowance will be supplied to the candidate.
Relationships and accountability
The Pope is accountable only to the Holy Father, who the candidate will report directly to. Please note that the Holy Father is unable to assist in the selection process.

The candidate will need to be accessible 24/7 and be dedicated to the job, which is not confined to (mortal/standard) working hours.

Salary & Compensation:

The successful candidate will receive a competitive compensation package, including 7 star residence, access to the Papal helicopter, staff members / assistants as required.
Application process
To apply, please see the detailed Wikipedia article on the Papal conclave.

[ul]
[li]Location: Vatican City[/li][li]Compensation: As negotiated with successful applicant. Highly competitive.[/li][li]This is at a non-profit organization.[/li][li]OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities[/li][li]Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.[/li][li]Please, no phone calls about this job![/li][li]Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.[/li][/ul]

[Boyo_Jim]

Rest assured, during my interview I will be abstaining from any and all sexual activity.

Also, that description left out a few things. A career path to sainthood, for example. A generous wardrobe budget, including robes that encourage going commando! An armored limo.

[Patty_O_Furniture]

Those are perks, which usually aren’t included in the job description.

[Boyo_Jim]

@Patty_O_Furniture

Those are perks, which usually aren’t included in the job description.

If they want the new hire never to have sex again, they better damn well mention some perks.

[Locrian]

Pope Mahony!! (Although someone probably already mentioned that possibility.)

I thought his case, among others, would start investigations with Ratzenberger and reveal a few more eye-openers within the papacy. I’m still thinking Parkinson’s is a media spin.

[AnalogSignal]

Something is fishy in Vatican City. Apparently the Pope is still sharp as a tack:

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/02/11/why-did-the-pope-resign/

Cardinal Donald Wuerl, the archbishop of Washington, D.C., said:

“He presided at meeting after meeting after meeting, there was no doubt he was in full possession of his faculties. He would give talks to us without notes in front of him. I am younger than the pope and I wouldn’t have begun my remarks without notes,” Wuerl said. "He had no problem at all speaking with great clarity.”

Allen, who was at an event with the pope with a visiting dignitary, recently said, “He was all there mentally.”

[Declan]

Just thinking, Bill Clinton is available for the job.

Declan

[Boyo_Jim]

@Declan

Just thinking, Bill Clinton is available for the job.

Declan

And soon, Hillary.