I got to eat dinner in a cluttered, filthy house while watching roaches scurry all over my mother’s kitchen.
Yuck.
Explosive diarrhea.
Hey, you asked.
That is nasty
Not along the same lines as yours, I suppose, but disgusting in the more moral sense. We went and handed out food at the homeless shelter which was a great experience in itself, but I think the whole thing was more depressing than anything.
The kids didn’t even really realize where they were or that they were missing out on some greater Christmas tradition, it seemed- kids are resilient like that, you know? The adults certainly seemed depressed, which was sad, but they were all wishing us a Merry Christmas with smiles- that was really sweet. I always think it’s always really surprising but. . . touching, when people who are struggling manage to be much stronger than I think I could ever be in that situation.
Anyway, the disgusting thing was the woman who was talking about how her baby was due any day now- sometime before the new year. I have never seen someone who was 9+ months pregnant with such a small stomach in my entire life. Her belly was TINY. It seriously looked like she was bloated from eating a big lunch. The woman also had skin that was all messed up and pock marked out, she was twitching a little, she was insanely thin, and her teeth were all messed up. Being from one of the meth capitals of the world, I would bet my paycheck on the fact that meth was her problem.
I know it isn’t fair or even right for me to judge her, especially since she quite clearly- for one reason or another- is at a very tough spot in her life. But, just seeing how tiny she was and how obviously tiny her soon to be born baby is, was just heartbreaking. I know addiction is an awful disease, but the fact that someone could do that to their own child. . . that’s probably the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.
Maybe I’m totally wrong though. Maybe I’m making assumptions that are totally off base. I hope that’s the case.
Bless you, Diosa, for volunteering.
The high (read low) point of my Christmas, spent with my wife’s family, was hearing her chronically unemployed nephew talk about the “White Pride” tattoo he was planning to get. That was pretty much the tone for the whole day. The only bright spot was assembling toys for my granddaughter and playing with her.
DiosaBellissima, I’m going to hope that she was wrong or lying about the pregnancy. Any chance of that?
You have my admiration for helping others during Christmas.
No, but only because my mom died two years ago.
One hopes you took the opportunity to tidy and clean before setting out roach traps.
For less than $25 your Christmas gift to Mom could have been more extraordinary than anything Bill Gates could buy…thanks for reminding us all that our lives are what we make of them.
And thanks for reminding me that there will always be people who assume they know what they’re talking about, despite their utter ignorance of the situation.
My christmas was spent with my family, but my dad is sick…undiagnosed, but scary sick…so didn’t have too much fun. I made a complicated meal that was planned and purchased prior to finding out how sick he was. And this was the first time I hosted christmas in my way-too-small house. I was so stressed out that I didn’t really have time to spend with my guests until after clean-up; at which time I was ready to drop. The tykes had fun and were just as cute as could be, and I adore my son’s girlfriend. It could have been worse, but it could have been a hell of a lot better. Hoping to find out what’s wrong with my dad within the next couple weeks.
First, thank you to both of you for kind comments. I don’t deserve any praise though, it’s something everyone should do! 
Anywho, I don’t know the lady, so maybe she was lying. Actually, I hope she was lying. That said, her stomach was the same shape as someone that far along (I’m not a pregnancy expert or anything, but just from watching my friends I’ve noticed that when the belly drops, it tends to take on a different shape than before), just much, much smaller. I don’t know if that makes any sense at all, but that’s how I saw it.
I can’t imagine someone on meth could have a very healthy pregnancy and if she’s in the homeless shelter, I’d venture to say she probably has had minimal prenatal care at best. Hopefully that baby will be ok and she can clean her life up, because I can’t even imagine the struggles that kid is going to face straight out of the womb.
Man, back in residency we used to love it when those idiots would come in. (Not surprisingly, they ended up in the hospital a lot.) Of course, we provided them with the same care we would provide anyone, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t go out of our way to make sure it was provided by every minority doctor, nurse, and tech we could round up, the bigger and meaner-looking the better.
One ER doc–a black guy who played college football–would stay late on his shift to see folks with white pride-type tattoos, just because he loved watching them try to keep them covered up. He would pointedly stare straight at the tattoo as much as he could, but he would be completely professional and courteous without saying a word about it.
If you think that gesture would be met with anything other than horror and extreme affront by someone living in squalor*, then you know nothing about what it’s like to deal with someone like that.
*People who live in squalor by “choice” because of depression or other mental illness. See www.squalorsurvivors.com, or see www.childrenofhoarders.com for the perspective on what it’s like to grow up in a home like that.
Misnomer, the only reason I’ve avoided a Christmas dinner similar to yours in the last few years is because my mother’s hovel was further damaged by Hurricane Katrina, and the mold growth has made it impossible for me to enter the premises. You have my sympathy.
Perhaps if you explained your situation people wouldn’t have to assume things.
It doesn’t take much brains to realize you ain’t fixing a fucking cockroach problem with $25 and a one day clean up. Nor to realize that there may be bigger problems if someone is choosing to live in filthy conditions.
Just as Misnomer choose to spend Christmas with her then complain about it without offering any apparent help with the situation.
I had problems with my dad. I loved him but avoided situations I disliked that were created by him.
?
The OP was one frigging sentence. You haven’t a clue as to what Misnomer has tried to do to help his/her mother.
Well, good for you. I guess Misnomer decided she liked visiting her mother on Christmas enough to put up with something she disliked.
Perhaps if people didn’t have to be so judgmental I’d be allowed to simply vent about an unpleasant experience without having to go into complicated, heartwrenching details that could never be fully or properly explained in writing and/or to a bunch of strangers.
Thank You lisacurl
People who choose to live like that do not welcome any comments on their lifestyle. You can’t clean for them or try to help organize clutter. Any suggestions of how things could be different are taken as criticism and met with anger so you try to make the person happy by acting like every thing is normal. Then you go home and feel brokenhearted because your relative or friend is really miserable but you can’t help them.
Well then if the only criteria I have to go on to see if my Christmas was more disgusting than yours is cockroaches then yes mine was.