So We're Moving... Anyone Know What Exit?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So it’s official (or as close as you can get to being official without actually having the letter in your hand.) My husband has been doing grad school interviews nonstop and today, in a followup phone call was told, ‘‘You didn’t do anything silly like accept at any other university, did you?’’ Basically it’s a matter of figuring out whether he gets a fellowship or teaching assistantship. Either way, he has been accepted as a clinical psychology doctoral student at Rutgers University in New Jersey. I’ve never even been to New Jersey, but looks like that’s my destination in early August. The irony is, I talked him into applying there because it has a program I like (social work with Puerto Rican immigrants.) Then I ended up not applying. But it is his number one pick, and as you can imagine, he’s on cloud nine.

I’m a little confused right now, because I just got an interview for a big promotion next Wednesday. There is a 99% chance I’m getting promoted to Bankruptcy Financial Counselor… and skills from the new position will be infinitely useful even though I really don’t foresee a long-term future in debt counseling. There will be days I get to use Spanish exclusively, and most days it will be about 80% of the time. The cognitive and emotional challenge will be character-building, for sure, at least for the 4.5 months left of my time here.

My husband’s professor told him that they are willing to put effort and resources into making sure I am comfortable with the move… meaning they want a list of my qualifications, my career goals and the sort of job that will make me happy. They actually want to hook me up instead of just leave me hanging out in New Jersey twiddling my thumbs. That’s miraculous, because résumé building options are somewhat limited in Michigan right now.

The truth is, the sort of job that will make me happy is one that will strengthen my own graduate school application to Rutgers. I am really hoping they might hook me up with some kind of research or volunteer connection using Español so I have a solid case for clinical social work with Latinos. (I have mental health experience, research experience, and Spanish experience, just none of that stuff combined.) Just thinking about all the opportunity in that region (the different schools, all the Spanish opportunities) is kind of making my head explode right now. And knowing how supportive they are being to him, to us, is really meaningful.

As you can imagine, we’re very confused. Everyone says I should still apply for the promotion here because you never know about the future, that I should do it guilt free, take the extra money and save it toward… well, whatever we end up doing in New Jersey.

Anyways, we’re pretty excited. My husband is going to be a doctor of clinical psychology, which is his lifelong dream. He was very concerned because every other school he had applied to rejected him… the field is extremely competitive (something like a 4% acceptance rate.) But the professor at Rutgers said he really stood out, even to professors who weren’t planning on working with him, which is unusual I guess. Obviously I’m ridiculously proud.

So um, hum, that’s my mundane, pointless news. I never really thought I would ever move to the East coast, but I’m looking forward to the adventure. I hope I pick up one of those cool Jersey accents.

I don’t know, so you New Jersey folks can tell me what to do in your exciting state, and you people who have ever been an insecure, confused graduate school candidate, feel free to give me some advice. I have a whole lot of angst about my future (seeing my ridiculously qualified husband repeatedly rejected doesn’t help), but knowing there will be some people from Rutgers on my side really helps. I plan to apply to graduate school this Fall. I know I said that last Fall and chickened out, but I’m not getting any younger and I’m beginning to realize indecision can be worse than making the wrong decision.

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Oh, by the way – that’s Rutger’s – New Brunswick. I guess there are different campuses. We will be living in New Brunswick. I have no idea what that means.

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I’m a college prof and moved to NJ last summer to take a tenure-track job (what your hubby will be doing in 5-9 years!)

New Brunswick is a nice town and Rutgers is a great U. There’s quick access to NYC and Philly on the train, so you won’t be lacking for things to do and see. Property taxes are high if you buy, car insurance is astronomical, and groceries are expensive. You aren’t allowed to pump your own gas: nice on cold days, a little irritating otherwise.

NB and environs south are beautiful; lots of trees and vegetation. I’ve seen areas north of Brunswick through the train window and they look much more urban.

Let me know if you have otgher questions. Like I said, I’m a newbie her as well, but may have a bit of insight.

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heh, I knew you’d be talking about New Jersey :slight_smile: I had a young teacher confide to my Spanish 4 class that the most difficult things about adjusting to NH were that she didn’t know what we meant by wicked (we explained once she told us it’s a regionalism - it news to us!), and being disappointed that no one cared what exit they lived near.

I can’t offer any advice, but I’ll send you and your husband happy thoughts for a painless move.

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Congrats to your hubby!

Definitely interview for the promotion. Does the promotion mean you’ll have to go through a lot of additional company-paid training? Or does it mean you get a new title and a pay raise?

If it’s the latter and you get the promotion, accept it with no hesitation.

If it’s the former and they offer you the promotion, I think you should have a frank talk with them. Non-profits are, in my experience, way more understanding of these kinds of circumstances. They might be delighted to give you a week of training if they can get another 6 months out of you. Or they might say, “No deal, but we’ll give you fabulous references.”

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Actually, it would be a month paid training. Yeah. The thing is, they are pretty desperate for help right now, especially in Spanish, and need what one might call emergency relief. I would probably start training two weeks from now. I don’t know if I should interview like normal and then, if offered the job, be up front about the change… or just assume I don’t really know what the future will bring, or what. I spoke with a trusted older coworker/mentor who has been there for years, and she told me it was best for me to go for it, they’d be happy for the help and it wasn’t a good idea to stake your future on uncertainties. anyways. She said it really wouldn’t be a big deal. I don’t know, though. Hence me being confused.

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New Brunswick is a nice town. It’s where I spent much of my late teens and twenties partying and such. (I grew up just south in Monroe Twp. and then lived in South River and East Brunswick for a bit.)
My brother-in-law is a police officer in New Brunswick. His dad was the Chief of Police but retired a few years ago and his mom worked for Johnson & Johnson, as many people in the area do.

Both of my kids were born there, at St. Peter’s Medical Center. (Actually my oldest is in East Brunswick right now. Well, actually he’s at an Iron Maiden concert right now, but he’s staying in EB for the weekend.)

There are some great restaurants. Definitely check out Old Man Rafferty’s, The Frog and The Peach, and Nova Terra. Nova Terra has salsa dancing on some nights…really fun.

If you like seafood or Portuguese food, make sure to head down to Ria Mar and the Portuguese Fisherman in South River. I make sure not to miss them whenever I go back. The shrimp in garlic sauce is to die for.

And of course, for pure artery clogging fun, you must order a fat cat or some kind of ‘fat’ sandwich from the grease trucks.

And, btw, you’ll be Exit 9. :wink:

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Don’t get whacked!

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Hmmm. Never heard New Brunswick described as a nice town before. Some nice places in the George Street area. The State Theater is there and the Crossroads Theater company. Definately worth checking out. Some nice restaurants in the area. My favorites (haven’t been there for a while) are the Old Bay Restaurant (Cajun food, great beer menu, live blues) and Harvest Moon (brew pub). When you get out to Easton Ave near downtown there are more places for the younger college crowd. The rest of New Brunswick is not the nicest place you could find.

Are you getting on campus housing? I thought most if not all of the graduate student housing is in Piscataway. That is just the other side of the Raritan River from New Brunswick. Given his major I would think most of his work will be done on the Piscataway campus as well.

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I must admit I don’t know What Exit? in person :frowning:

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…don’t forget ‘Stuff Yer Face’ for strombolis and ‘Famous Daves’ for BBQ (the one closest on Rt1 may be closing, but the other one between the Menlo Park Mall and the Parkway is open. Its by the White Castle.

Tip#1 - Don’t speed on Rt27 in Highland Park.

Tip#2 - Don’t speed on Washington Ave in Dunellen either.

Tip#3 - “Piscataway” is an ancient native indian word for ‘highway construction on 287 which never ever ends’.

Tip#4 - It may actually be faster to drive through Hoes Lane to Rt 1 South to Rt 130 and then get on the Turnpike via Exit 8 than to try to get to exit 9. Ever. M1-Abrams Tank, not withstanding.

Tip#5- Visit the Englishtown Flea Market at least once this summer. Get up early…you want to arrive around sunrise. Bring a vehicle that can carry back your purchases (or enough bungee cords to tie them to the roof).

Tip#6- There are two gas stations on Rt 1 that are always competeing with each other for the lowest gas prices. Yes, they are worth visiting.

Tip#7- There’s a Foodtown on Easton Ave and one on Rt 27. The parking is better at the Easton Ave store.

Tip#8- Bike trails, bike trails, bike trails!

Tip#9- If that person you see on George street looks like a famous actor, they just might be.

Tip#10- Friends don’t let friends date Douglas girls. :smiley:

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That’s great news! I think you will find the university has some opportunities for you to do work related to your field of interest, and will put you in a good position to apply, also. Look for opportunities at research centers, doing field interviews, etc. You might also find opportunities as a Spanish or ESL tutor.

About the promotion, I definitely think you should apply. I am ambiguous about whether you should tell about your plans. Is the month of training 100% getting paid to learn and no work, or would you be learning on the job/ doing your current job as you learned? 1 month of salary is a lot for a nonprofit, and they might resent investing that if they find out you knew all along they’d only get 3 months work out of it. Still, they might have to invest an additional month in a new candidate to get them up to speed to the point you are at already. You know the organization and will need to use your gut instinct to make that call.

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Change #1 to anywhere in Highland Park.

Change # 3 to Rt 18. Have you tried to drive through New Brunswick on 18 in the last 2 years or so? Supposedly they will be finished in the next year. Then they will move on to expanding 18 in Piscataway again.

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Do not live in any of the grad student housing on Busch campus. Even with a car, it is an isolated place to live. Oh, and the New Brunswick/Piscataway Campus is divided into 4 campuses: Busch and Livingston in Piscataway, and College Ave and Cook/Douglass in New Brunswick. Study the maps before you come, because it is confusing as hell.

Edison Diner is better than Somerset Diner. Since you’ve never been to NJ, you don’t yet realize that you will need to know this.

Many think the best food in NB is Makeda (Ethiopian). The sushi at the pizza place behind the student center is surprisingly decent. Pad Thai in Highland Park is overpriced and inconsistent. The little Thai place on Easton Avenue is just as good and half the price.

You can get around the area with only a bike, though it is a bit difficult in February.

You won’t end up going to New York that often.

The only good used bookstore is 30 minutes car ride away in Cranbury .

The Jersey Shore is not as far as it seems. Go to the beach before the weather turns. May I suggest Sandy Hook?

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They are a pretty scary town alright. Cruise control at 25 mph is your safest bet. (No, really.) And I pity the poor bastid that ever tries to rob the ‘White Rose’ diner there. He’ll/she’ll end up with more holes than a cheese grater & might have to be poured into their own coffin.

Route 18 is a mess construction wise. Rt 1 is a mess construction wise too. But construction has been going on between Exit 1 and Exit 5 of 287 since I was old enough to ask “are we there yet?”. Still, without argument, those are the three main arteries into NB. I can’t help but ask what billiant surgeon would ever attempt to work on both carotid arteries as well as a femoral artery in the same patient at the same time and expect the patient to live. :smack:

Bright Side: There is a train station 1 block from George Street & Rt 27. I kid you not: its the fastest way in/out of NB.

"Metuchen…Metuchen…end doors out…"

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Are you sure you mean NEW Brunswick? You said ‘nice town’ and that kind of threw me off!

Spanish can be found in any minor metropolitan area, so that won’t be hard. Also use the RU careers people to get in with a good agency.

If you head down Rt18 South from the RU campus, take the exit for Delicious Orchards. Your waistline will be mad, but your tongue will thank you.

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Ooh, I second Delicious Orchards. Stock up on the cheese bread (they freeze well), toast it, add a little butter: heaven. The pies aren’t bad either. I also second Stuff Yer Face, especially if you like beer, and Thomas Sweet for ice cream afterwards. That was a pretty typical date for Jamaika a jamaikaiaké and me when we were first dating.

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I grew up near there. New Brunswick IS a nice town – it has changed unbelievably since I was a kid (in the 1970s they practically demolished downtown, between Johnson and Johnson buying up George street for its World Headquarters, the rerouting of 18 around town, and various other projects). It’s a clean area, with lots of stores. The Rutgers campus is clean and huge (and extends a heckuva lot farther than New Brunswick proper). There’s a lot of history there. See East Jersey Olde Town and the Bucchleuch Mansion and the Delaware and Raitan Canal. You can catch a train to midtown New York City right from downtown New Brunswick. There are lots of pretty good restaurants in town (including a great Mongolian Barbecue that seems to keep changing its name).
Delicious Orchards IS great, but it’s a haul from New Brunsw3ick (Note: There used to be a LOT of orchards near Route 18 just outside the city, but they’ve been flattend in the past 20 years to make way for businessees and condos. Dammit.) There are a LOT of stores and malls along Route 18 going south from New Brunswick. Also on Route 1 going both North and South(especially the big ones at Menlo Park and Woodbridge)
New Brunswick used to have three huge movie theaters. Nowadays, you have to go to the suburbs. Not far from the city is a big complex on Route 1, but it’s soulless.

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Indeed it is. However, it is the only movie theatre complex I know of with a grave in the parking lot.

I lived in Highland Park right on the river and across from there for a couple of years. This (and the building) made up part of the view from my living room window. I sniff a little whenever I see Mallrats. I loved that place. Just seeing the sign conjured up the memory of the smell hot roasting peanuts.

Is the Mongolian BBQ place across the street from the Train Station? Near a PSE&G office? I loved that place and used to go there all the time. But I do remember it changing hands a couple of times, though I don’t remember any of the actual names. Actually, when I first went there I just assumed the name *was *Mongolian Barbecue.

20

I feel like I am late.

To start, my wife is a graduate of Rutgers, but of course that was 20+ years ago. However, she can probably answer some specific questions about the huge University that Rutgers is. She started in a Bio field but switched to Mechanical Engineering for her degree. (Of course she ended up with a Masters in CS from Stevens later.)

New Jersey has the advantage of probably having more different types of things to do in a small area that any other state. Starting with the easy access to NYC Culture, Sports & Gawking & Museums, Atlantic City for Casinos and & Philly for, well whatever it is Philly is for ;).

We have great zoos and aquariums within reasonable striking distance; in fact I just got back for the Aquarium in Camden (Near Philly on the Jersey side of the Ben Franklin bridge). We have the Statue of Liberty as a must see and the Battleship New Jersey (in Camden next to the Aquarium). Then NJ is famous for its beaches, starting at Sandy Hook, in my County, Monmouth, and stretching all the way down to Cape May, one of the jewels of the country.

I think the easiest thing to do is more specifically mention what you like to do and you will get hundreds of suggestions, like New Yorkers, most Jersey people are very forthcoming with opinions.

When it comes to food we have great food of almost any culture available, though except for Indian, not as good as NYC. Again, NYC is an easy train ride for a couple without kids or even with kids.

I have to admit to being largely ignorant of New Brunswick, my friend at work that is up there often has made it clear that my information is at least a decade out of date. I just don’t go there anymore. I will say that within a 10 miles radius is probably more shopping that anywhere else in the US.

I think that is going to change in April, isn’t it? Were you going to meet up with us when I am in Boston?

I live so close that we shop there regularly. Maybe I can plan two Jersey Dope Fests this year. The regular June one and a “Welcome to New Jersey” one in early September. You still need to make one Shecky.